who would win in a fight between...

[CBeet]

heres the idea. the firs person (me) posts a battle between two heroes/villains and the next person has to post the outcome, and a new battle, then the next person who posts has to say who they would win the previous battle and post a new one, then the next person.. and so on.

ok!

batman vs wolverine, who would win?

[Star_Jewel]

I think Batman would win this one.

He just shoots out his cables, hangs wolverine from a brigde and waits for winter to freeze 'm.

Now, fight between my two favorites:
Superman and Rogue (x-men)

so it's flight, superstrength, laser-eyes and invulnerability against the power to take someones powers...who will it be??

[Silver_Weasel]

G'night Shugah!

Rogue just drains him back into his glasses.

Juggernaut vs. Venom?

[Loki_Oathbreaker]

The Juggernaut. Although Venom managed to beat him once in 'The Madness', he's waaaay out of his league there.

Captain America vs. Daredevil?

[_Max_]

Daredevil, Cap' can throw his dustbin lid all he likes, Daredevil will always avoid it, and then go in and hit Captain America with his billy club until he dies of embarrasment.

> Optimus Prime vs Gambit

[Duckdee]

Gambit just fries him, I think.

Forge vs Reed Richards, at a science fair!

[Araquel]

forge, he can make flashy fun things while richards would just babble big words at them......

Batman vs The Midnighter <the authority>

[Doc_Shango]

Midnighter in 3 seconds flat, Batmans great but he's only human.

Silver Surfer vs Green Lantern?

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]

Silver Surfer vs Green Lantern?

[/ QUOTE ]

One quick Google into powers and weaknesses later: Silver Surfer nips off to local custom spray shop and reappears spraypainted dayglo yellow (that SUCKS as a weakness, btw). One Power Cosmic burst later... ZOMG, the quarterback is TOAST!

*blush*

hey, I used to have silver trim and fins on my 7'8 minimal, don't knock it.

Oookaaayy... next in the ring, Wonder Woman vs Xena?

[Aeronaut]

I can't believe someone thinks Optimus Prime will lose to Gambit, Optimus Prime is a GIANT FREAKING ROBOT

Wonder Woman or Xena ?

Well they both kick Ares's [censored] whenever they can and everyone elses really so I don't know where I was going with that one... I would go for Wonder Woman if only because women over six foot tall wearing as little as she does can pretty much do whatever they want...

Nightwing Vs Batman ?

[Silver_Weasel]

Batman sends Nightwing to bed without supper :)

Statesman vs. Carnie Strongman? :D

[_Max_]

Carnie Strongman, being a hero, States has been ED'd, and in true angsty comic-book style over-estimates his powers, leading to a full team wipe and max debt.

Inspired by Dreamweaver's avatar:

> Harley Quinn vs Poison Ivy

[Doc_Shango]

Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy spend hours bickering and trying to off each other in various imaginative ways. After several hours of chasing each other round Gotham they decide to kiss and make up. Harley gives Ivy a present and a peck on the cheek. Harley then keels over from something nasty injested from the Ivys touch, moments later Ivy opens the present which explodes thereby marking a drawer by double knockout.

Next up - Thanos Vs Darkseid Vs Galactus in a 3 way royal rumble.

[Silver_Weasel]

Thanos and Darkseid pound each other for ages, then Galactus eats them :)

Four Way

Judge Death vs. Lady Death vs. Pratchett's Death vs Sandman's Death

[Doc_Shango]

Judge Death and Lady Death go at it hammer and tongs while Prachett's death heads off for a curry. Meanwhile Sandmans Death sits and watches smothered in angst and is promptly ignored by the battling pair. Lady Death destroys Judge Deaths physical form so he inhabits Sandman Death and goes to battle again. After hours of fighting Lady Death stands triumphant over Judge Deaths remains. "HELLO, I'M BACK. DID I MISS ANYTHING?" says Prachett's Death tapping Lady Death on the shoulder. Lady Death promptly crumples leaving Prachett's Death victorious.

Apollo (Authority) Vs Superman?

[X_treme]

after searching the web for who apollo was i found this : "Apollo is very much cast in the mold of the Superman archetype. His powers include super-strength, flight, near invulnerability and heat-vision. Like Superman, Apollo also gets his powers from the Sun.

Apollo is notable for being one of the few [censored] superheroes in print. He's married to fellow The Authority member Midnighter and both have adopted Jenny Quantum."

Therefore superman laughs at the cheap immitation before destroying the sun to wipe out apollos source of power forgetting it is also his and they both die, resulting in a death draw

Simba (lion king) vs shere khan (jungle book) :)

edit: eerrmmmm g a y got censored, bit prejudice isnt it? lol :p

[Duckdee]

[ QUOTE ]
I can't believe someone thinks Optimus Prime will lose to Gambit, Optimus Prime is a GIANT FREAKING ROBOT


[/ QUOTE ]
True, but.. but...*cries*

[Loki_Oathbreaker]

So's a sentinel. And they aren't that hard to blow up.


Shere khan wins, because the Jungle Book is way cooler. ;)


Thanos has been eaten by Galactus, but he is needed to once again save the universe from its demise ...

Adam Warlock plus the Infinity Watch vs. Galactus

[Silver_Weasel]

Adam & The Infinity Watch bicker amongst themselves over why he is counted as their leader and then Galactus eats them.

BTW Shroud, love the Death battle :)

Alien vs Predator?

[Iguanaja]

The alien becomes the predator and predates the predator into prey, then both of them get confused about who's the predator and who is not, and decide to just get drunk.

Thing VS Juggernaut? That could be a pretty long battle. xD

[CBeet]

juggernaut, he is invinsible, and the thing is just a rock with legs and arms.

the flash vs quicksilver?

[Zortel]

[ QUOTE ]
Harley then keels over from something nasty injested from the Ivys touch

[/ QUOTE ]
Incorrect!
Correct! (http://mysite.wanadoo-members.co.uk/cohpictures/batgirlharley.jpg)

[biogirl]

the flash wins hands down cuz he hasnt lost his powers becuase of some stupid attempt to sort out continuity errors :D

rogue (x-men) -vs- mimic (exiles)

[Doc_Shango]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Harley then keels over from something nasty injested from the Ivys touch

[/ QUOTE ]
Incorrect!
Correct! (http://mysite.wanadoo-members.co.uk/cohpictures/batgirlharley.jpg)

[/ QUOTE ]

erm.... I was of course talking about an elseworlds battle where that never happened... :)

[Zortel]

Hey, I don't get that many openings to post that comic, so I eagerly jump on the chance!

[Loki_Oathbreaker]

Rogue. Mimic's copy isn't as strong as the original so she'd suck him dry.

Rohrschach versus The Punisher, without the latter using guns.

[Silver_Weasel]

From my brother who's home for Xmas, "Roschach wins coz he's a nutter, a proper mentalist. Frank Castle's just a Vietnam Vet and they're ten a penny."

Angel (X-Men) [before the change] and Hawkgirl?

[Loki_Oathbreaker]

Hawkgirl all the way, Angel's just a rich guy with wings. At least she's got a mace.

Alright, this time I've got a tough one ...

Plastic Man versus the Impossible Man ... on stage. As stand-up comedians.

[_Max_]

Plastic Man would be able to make his jokes stretch for longer, but Impossible Man could change himself into the joke, and make it have that better edge. Hence, IM wins.

> Soundwave (Transformers) vs Clayface (Batman TAS version)

[Silver_Weasel]

Clayface breaks into his Oscar Nominated Speech, whilst Soundwave drones on and on and on in his monotonous voice, never letting up on how boring it all is and slowly turning into Marvin..

Clayface happily gives up just to get away

Tyrant vs. Lord Recluse?

[biogirl]

recluse all the way cuz all tyrant did was tie states up in a wiered bonadage way, and the old friend thing between staes and recluse has gotta be worth some

omega red VS the constrictor (old character from 80's)(same powers as OR though) :p

[Syra]

Recluse.

Even if Recluse doesn't utterly crush his enemies, he will always find a use for them and take them into account when it comes to his overall goal (Look at Longbow; he could wipe them out if he so chose, but keeps them around as a sort of training tool and plaything for his organisation). While he does come across as arrogant, he's got a massive degree of influence and power to work with.

Tyrant wouldn't stand a chance.

[Silver_Weasel]

Omega Red with Death Pheromones and healing factor versus... Nah, he's won already :)

Doctor Who (Tom Baker) vs. Roj Blake vs Kirk

[Lord_Qel_Thyr]

well, the doctor would most likely know of every conceivealbe way to beat the other two, kirk would... pah, going with the doctor!

(X-men showdown) Apocalypse vs Phoenix (dark or otherwise) (or even dark vs light?)

[Doc_Shango]

Dark Phoenix rises and Apocalypse realises that by the rule of Survival of the fittest he is no longer on top (yes I know this happened with onslaught but still using it). Rather than face this fate however Apocalypse begins appearing to all the Superpowered beings across the globe in an effort to defeat the Phoenix. Queue much arguing about between heros and villains as they try to come up with a plan leading to a task force consisting of Apocalypse, Professor X, Dr Doom, Wolverine (because he has to be involved with any Phoenix Story), the Hulk, Iron Man and Doctor Strange. They then move to engage the Phoenix before it consumes the Galaxy as a snack. Massive fight ensues with powers of mystical, psychic and superhuman being blasted around. As the fight continues one by one the Heroes/Villains fall until all that are left standing is Phoenix and Wolverine (possibly in a badly damaged costume). Wolverine launches into an impationed speech to "Jeanie" who momentarily overcomes the Phoenix control at which point Apocalypse vaporises her with a blast of raw energy leading Wolverine to fly into a rage.... thereby marking Apocalypse as the winner and convienently setting up my next fight:
Wolverine Vs Apocalypse

[CBeet]

if it was right after that battle, apocolypse would be badly hurt, but wolverine would be fine due to his healing.. ide recon wolverine would rough apoc up a bit before finally being defeated. so i think apocolypse would win

edit: whoops, forgot about the next battle.

punisher vs ghost rider

[Doc_Shango]

Punisher - an angry guy with guns
Ghost Rider - Demon of Vengenance

Ghost Rider wins but Punisher causes lots (and I do mean lots) of collateral damage.

The Goon Vs Luke Cage?

[Silver_Weasel]

Neddie, Bluebottle and Eccles clobber the charley hard! :)

Starfire vs. Raven?

[Captain_Cliche]

Raven, I don't know either of them so I determined the fight using the rules of Alphabetic ordering ;).

The Chucklebrothers VS Oscar the Grouch

[CBeet]

chuckle brothers, oscar the grouch would die of bordem.

spawn vs superman

[Silver_Weasel]

Spawn wins purely on Cape vs. Cape :)

Silver Weasel vs The Question vs Incredible Pyro in a gibberish contest :)

[Lord_Qel_Thyr]

Quilty™ wins, as he calls in favours from TG, Stasis, and the rest of Evo Radio. :D that or society as you all end up being commited. :cool:

TG's MAYO™ vs erm, ok got nothing

Bucky O'hare vs Fox McCloud (i think this might be moving off track)

[CBeet]

i dont know who they are, so ill go for fox mccloud, simply because.. i like the name.

tag team!

spiderman and batman vs manspider and manbat

[Lord_Qel_Thyr]

you dont kno bucky or fox? bucky o'hare was a green rabbit cartoon about 10-15 years ago, so brilliant, and fow mccloud i the main guy from starwing/lylat wars/etc

as far as the tag match, ill go with spiderman and batman, one as spidey has fought and beat (ish) both types of these, and bats will just tip the edge so its a def win.

Sephiroth (im listening to 1 winged angel atm) vs Guyver

Edit, changed from Hamidon to Guyver as i didnt like hami being there...

[X_treme]

bucky wud easily destroy fox cos bucky o' hare is awesome :p and his crew is so much better than fox's.

sephiroth wud take his time toying with hami going from mito to mito wiping them out in 1 hits, b4 casting meteor on hamidon and watching him burn :) sephiroth all the way, hamidon is just a big monster/egg that cant move :p

liono (thundercats) vs he-man

[Duckdee]

What was the name of the duck?

[CBeet]

liono would win, simply because he is a thundercat, hooo!

the blob (x-men) vs hellboy, on top of a very tall building.

[Lord_Qel_Thyr]

[ QUOTE ]
What was the name of the duck?

[/ QUOTE ]

ah, as in the duck that had 4 arms, and 1 eye, therefore no depth perception and so was in charge of the ships weapons systems while blinky went nuts, Dead Eye Duck

hellboy picks up blob, throws him off the building, jumps, lands on the blob, bounces, crashes into another building, destroying it, blob smashes into hellboy, destroying another building, this continues until the only building left is the original one, and by then both are too fed up and knackered as they are getting nowhere, so they leave, and then the original building falls over and lands on them both... draw

pikachu vs that lightning guy from spiderman i can never remmber the name of... son of the red skull, you know who i mean... i hope...

[Duckdee]

Pikachu all the way! Especially if he has Quick Attack, Agility and Body Slam :D

Longshot vs Nightcrawler

[CBeet]

nightcrawler, always liked him, always will, so he will win!

apocalypse vs darkseid

[DreamWeaver]

Never heard of either of them, but one quick wiki later:

Darkseid uses Omega powers to teleport Apocalypse backwards onto his own Psimitar, sneering "...and while your soul turns to ashes, teach the inkers how to spell, will you?"

Okay:

Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) vs Autolycus(Bruce Campbell)?

[Loki_Oathbreaker]

Apocalypse isn't even in the cosmic league ... no chance at all.

Now, folks, is looks like the Angel has returned after being on the receiving end of a very hard mace swung by none other than ... Hawk Girl!

He looks like he's bearing a major grudge this time ... he's angry enough that his skin actually turned blue! Wait a moment, wasn't that skin-tone changing some other guy's gimmick ... ?

Archangel vs. Hawkgirl!


Edit: Darn, too late. Well, Cap'n Jack would surely win in a drinking match, but Autolycus is the king of thieves, after all. And played by none other than Bruce Campbell! Which earns him the win for being played by a major bad-... err ... you know what I mean!

[CBeet]

archangel would win, hands down, no questions asked.

now heres a toughie..

ghost widow vs jean grey.

[Doc_Shango]

Archangel (in his Death Incarnation) spars in the air Hawkgirl and quickly notices a weakness. With a blur of his wings metal flechettes flash out and cut Hawkgirls harness and she plummets floorwards. Never able to watch a lady suffer Archangel rockets downwards and catches her just before she lands. Gently he places her down and smiles (he may be blue but hes still a ladies man) at which point Hawkgirl smacks him with her mace. Winner Hawkgirl (but only because Warren is a huge tart :) )

edit - damn too late..... Ghost Widow maybe intangible but so far I've not seen any evidence shes immune to Psychic powers. Jean rips past any defences she may have an incapactiates her with a mental blast.

Captain Atom Vs Living Monolith

[Duckdee]

[ QUOTE ]
Autolycus(Bruce Campbell)

[/ QUOTE ]
From Xena?

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Autolycus(Bruce Campbell)

[/ QUOTE ]
From Xena?

[/ QUOTE ]

Eyup. That'd be the one.

Captain Atom FTW since he doesn't work for M*rvel. End Of Line.

Scooby Doo vs Captain Caaaavveeemaaaaaannn?

(new cable box has Boomerang. yay!)

[Duckdee]

Caveman. Simply because I despise Scooby-doo! CC is cool, from my vague memoryof him.

Bowser vs Godzilla, if they were similar height!

[Expeditor]

Godzilla naturally - he has that nifty self res whenever he gets beaten.

Evinlea and Charon's Lawbringers vs. The First (from the end of Negation War #2, just because the publisher went bust before #3 ever saw the light of day)

EDIT: or if you want something a touch less obscure, howabout Deadpool vs Batman, or maybe Deadpool vs Grammaton Cleric Preston?

[Doc_Shango]

My memory of Crossgen is faded to say the least I also didn't read the Negation War but a quick search later and I have the synopsis....
Charon invades the Sigilverse but not wanting to spend another 10,000 years conquering a dimension he quickly launches his assault. The First and the Sigil Bearers are initially beaten back by the onslaught. Charon's headlong rush however leaves him blind to the fact that he is stretching his forces too thin. Evinlea sees her chance to not only get home but also usurp Charons power. As the initial thurst of the Negation forces begins to loose momentum the Sigil Bearers and First along with the Atlanteans launch a counter attack. This is the distraction that Evinlea needs and she attacks Charon with a small band of supporters. Caught off guard the attack succeeds in hurting Charon however the God Emporers powers are immense and he is able to vanquish Evinlea. The attempted coup sends shockwaves through the Negation forces who are struggling to hold back the Firsts counter attack. The army begins to crumble and retreat. Observing this Charon prepares an all out assault only to be faced by Solusandra now fully in possession of her memories and powers. She then proceeds to wipe the floor with Charon thereby ending the Negation War. Winner The First
(Note:- having not read a crossgen comic in years some of the above may not actually be possible - technically this is an apology to any Crossgen fans that read this :) )

edit: oh now I can do Deadpool/Batman! :) Deadpool ftw just cause it's deadpool!

next up Tagteam
Thor & The Sentry Vs Superman & Captain Marvel (DC version)with special guest referee Hyperion

[Necropolis_]

Superman thinks hes it,his arrogance woould get the best of him s thor and sentry would win.

(which reminds me,how come superman just stands and laughswhen people fire at him but then ducks when they throw the gun?)

ok lemme think....buffy the vampire slayer v xena warrior princess,with mud of some kind :D

[Silver_Weasel]

From Stasis :

"Buffy would win because she's funny and would pun her whilst Xena would be eyeing up Gabrielle"

Personally, I think Xena would kick her [censored] because Buffy's blonde :)

*slap*

Ok, Buffy wins.

Santa Claus vs The Easter Bunny vs St Valentine vs The Great Pumpkin.

[CBeet]

santa would eat the pumpkin and the easter bunnies explosive chocolate eggs, pumpkin and santa out. valentine would try to befriend the bunny but the bunny would bite his head off, easter bunny wins!

the incredible hulk vs the scarlet witch

[Necropolis_]

I don't think theres any question that the hulks massive brute force wouldnt be enough to defeat the scarlet witch,she'd just make a building fall on top of him or something of the likes.


albus
dumbledore v Gandalf the white

[CBeet]

thats the very hard question.. they would proberbly both ponder it over untill one of them dies of old age, so i would say dumbeldore.

bane vs the joker

[Standoff]

Having just found this thread I feel a clicky (http://www.electricferret.com/fights/backissue_full.htm) is in order...

(Particular kudos to the Moses vs. Yoda and Dread Pirate Roberts vs. Zorro vs. D'artagnian vs. Robin Hood)

[_Max_]

The Joker would stand around yapping for half-an-hour about how his new master plan would defeat Bane, by which point, Bane would would have snapped him in half.

> Top Cat vs Garfield

[The_Question]

Top Cat would get all of his gang to kick Garfield to death, the big fat chump.

Me vs. all of you chumps.

[Lord_Qel_Thyr]

gank fest eh?

nobody wins, as in the heat of the moment, someone hits the wrong person and it turns into a brawl, and then the temp powers go off and it starts raining nukes...

so, who wins, the cockroaches as usual i think

The Atom vs Galactis

[Lord_Qel_Thyr]

[ QUOTE ]
From Stasis :

"Buffy would win because she's funny and would pun her whilst Xena would be eyeing up Gabrielle"

Personally, I think Xena would kick her [censored] because Buffy's blonde :)

*slap*

Ok, Buffy wins.

Santa Claus vs The Easter Bunny vs St Valentine vs The Great Pumpkin.

[/ QUOTE ]

theres a phrase that would be used here, but i cant seem to remember it, something about a whip... :p

[Leif_Roar]

[ QUOTE ]
The Atom vs Galactis

[/ QUOTE ]

The Atom, as Galactus is simply too big to find him.

Jenny Sparks, anno 1999 (The Authority) vs Storm (The X-Men)

[wook13_99]

The Atom would shrink down to the size of a flea and infest Galactus's underwear so much that from all the scratching he does, he manages to rip himself to shreds.


Next Bout. Spike (of Buffy Fame) vs Blade

[Silver_Weasel]

Storm is played by Halle Berry, so she gets kicked to death by anyone who's seen Catwoman before Jenny Sparks even gets close.

Dobby (Harry Potter) Vs Gizmo (Gremlins) vs Elmo (Sesame Street)

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
Storm is played by Halle Berry, so she gets kicked to death by anyone who's seen Catwoman before Jenny Sparks even gets close.

Dobby (Harry Potter) Vs Gizmo (Gremlins) vs Elmo (Sesame Street)

[/ QUOTE ]

Both Gizmo and Elmo are so incensed by Dobby's utter rubbishness that they forgo their cute and cuddly ways and tear him to shreds. Elmo tries to make friends with Gizmo by getting him to play with a broken fire hydrant. Cue invasion and lots of new friends in the neighbourhood, in the neighbourhood, in the neiiighbourrhooooodd....

Okay, four-way match:

Yoda vs Mr Miyagi vs Neo vs Jackie Chan?

[Iguanaja]

Yoda attempts to talk wisely about not fighting, while Neo is too busy trying to realise that there is no spoon. Jackie chan does a flashy move involving a chair, but the chair disapears when Neo realises the same counts for the chair. Jackie chan breaks his arm and is out of the match.

Then Neo proceeds to try and realise that there is no Yoda, but Yoda stabs him with a lightsaber, and Neo realises there's no longer a Neo and vanishes.

Then Yoda and Mr Miyagi have a contest in fly catching. Yoda cheats by using the force, but Miyagi uses his mad bonsai tree cutting skills to cut Yoda into a little elephant.

Miyagi wins.


The blob (xmen) vs the thing (fantastic four.)

[Silver_Weasel]

Yoda/Chan and Neo start facing off. There's a sudden movement and Mr. Miyagi wins.

[ QUOTE ]
"Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men!"

-- Rule One (Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time)

[/ QUOTE ]


{edit : Bah...Blob stands there and wobbles whilst Thing goes "It's Cobblering Time!" and makes him some new shoes. Thing Wins. ]


Mr. Wensleydale (Python Cheese Shop Owner) vs.
Hilary Briss (League of Gentleman Butcher with the 'special meat') vs
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon (Simpsons Kwik-E-Mart)

[Loki_Oathbreaker]

Apu, simply for having the longe ... err ... greatest name of them all.

Now, how about this ... imagine that Batman was London's protector during V for Vendetta.
V vs. the Batman!

[Leif_Roar]

[ QUOTE ]
Now, how about this ... imagine that Batman was London's protector during V for Vendetta.
V vs. the Batman!

[/ QUOTE ]

If Batman was London`s protector, England would never have fallen into fascism and V would never have been sent to the camps, making Batman the winner on walkover.

Now, how about Smaxx from Top Ten vs Saint of Killers from Preacher?

[Duckdee]

[ QUOTE ]
thats the very hard question.. they would proberbly both ponder it over untill one of them dies of old age, so i would say dumbeldore.

[/ QUOTE ]
WHAT!?! Even though Gandalf came back from the dead? Well, sort of. IMO even Radaghast (sp?) could beat Dumbledore!

[Loki_Oathbreaker]

The Saint of Killers killed God. With a gun. I think he can deal with ... whoever this Smaxx is.


And I don't think Batman could have done a whole lot against that ... how would he prevent a nuclear war, eh? It's more likely that he'd become another V, instead. The fanatism is certainly there ...

The dread Dormammu versus Dr. Doom - both lethal in their own right. Doom the second most accomplished living human sorcerer in the marvel universe, Dormammu the nemesis of the sorcerer supreme. Is Doom's incredible intellect and technological edge a match for the Dread One's mystical might?

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
The Saint of Killers killed God. With a gun. I think he can deal with ... whoever this Smaxx is.


And I don't think Batman could have done a whole lot against that ... how would he prevent a nuclear war, eh? It's more likely that he'd become another V, instead. The fanatism is certainly there ...

The dread Dormammu versus Dr. Doom - both lethal in their own right. Doom the second most accomplished living human sorcerer in the marvel universe, Dormammu the nemesis of the sorcerer supreme. Is Doom's incredible intellect and technological edge a match for the Dread One's mystical might?

[/ QUOTE ]

Last I heard, Dr. Doom lost to a Welshman and Jessica Alba in a suspect leotard. I have no idea who Dormammu is, but he wins almost by default.

Professor Indiana Jones vs Lady Lara Croft?

[_Max_]

Lara Croft would use fancy moves and guns, but Indy would use his whip to both disarm her and trip her up. Indy would then make Lara get run over by the same damn boulder trap over and over again due to fiddly controls, whilst Indy avoids it first time.

> Unicron (Transformers) vs Galactus

[Silver_Weasel]

Whip vs. Twin pistols and attitude? Lara wins ;) (Indy's older and runs out of bullets occasionally)

(Dammit... Ok, Unicron goes on and on about how he is the birth and the death of everything metallic and then Galactus eats him...Pattern forming? :))

Bats vs Spidey?

[Leif_Roar]

[ QUOTE ]
Bats vs Spidey?

[/ QUOTE ]

Bats wins the fight, but Spidey steals the show with his snappy one-liners.

The Doctor from the Authority versus Doctor Strange?

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Bats vs Spidey?

[/ QUOTE ]

Bats wins the fight, but Spidey steals the show with his snappy one-liners.

The Doctor from the Authority versus Doctor Strange?

[/ QUOTE ]

One Wiki later... (my god, it's good at comic book stuff)...

The Doctor's vast magical powers being dependent on poetry, Dr. Strange simply induces a massive fit of writer's block before pummeling him. (PS: Proper superheroes say no to smack, kids.)

Viddyogame character four-way rumble:

Joanna Darke(Perfect Dark Zero) vs Kyle Katarn (Jedi Knight) vs Cammy(StreetFighter) vs Tony Hawk

[BattleEngine]

Chuck Norris Vs Margret Thatcher!

[Cathy_Wheel]

[ QUOTE ]
Chuck Norris Vs Margret Thatcher!

[/ QUOTE ]

Thing is, I bet Maggie would win :)

[Araquel]

kyle katarn all the way, hes a bloody jedi.

tom strong vs jakita wagner

[_Max_]

[ QUOTE ]
(Dammit... Ok, Unicron goes on and on about how he is the birth and the death of everything metallic and then Galactus eats him...Pattern forming? :))

[/ QUOTE ]

But Unicron is bigger than Galactus, surely it should eat *him* :P

[Doc_Shango]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
(Dammit... Ok, Unicron goes on and on about how he is the birth and the death of everything metallic and then Galactus eats him...Pattern forming? :))

[/ QUOTE ]

But Unicron is bigger than Galactus, surely it should eat *him* :P

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm with Silver Weasel on this, Unicrons Head (yes it's still his head as per Transformers the Movie) isn't that much different to a planet. Galactus zooms along lands on it, sets up that big machine thing he has and chows down. :)

Edit - In a physical fight Tom Strong has no chance against Jakita, so instead its a race for an ancient artifact. Doesn't really help as Jakita cheats and calls in the rest of Planetary. Therefore Jakita wins

Next Up - Killer Croc Vs Sabretooth

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]

Next Up - Killer Croc Vs Sabretooth

[/ QUOTE ]

Sabretooth, in an utter rage at being rejected as new bass player for the Darkness on grounds of insufficient mulletude, turns Croc into handbag. End of.

Okay, it's a three way cool-off next...

Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick)
vs
Chili Palmer (John Travolta)
vs
Arturo "The Fonz" Fonzarelli (Henry Winkler)
?

[Expeditor]

The Fonz, obviously.

Deadpool vs Grammaton Cleric Preston (Equilibrium)

"Always practicing. Maybe that's why you're the best."
"Maybe I'm just better."

[Ravenswing]

The Fonz. He had an entire series to develop his cool, the others only got a film.

EDIT: Dang! Okay, Preston, because he's played by Christian Bale and is just too cool for words.

McGuyver vs The A-Team!

[Silver_Weasel]

Macguvyer has a Face off with Face and Hannibal whilst Murdoch commentates via sock puppet; then B.A. shows him some serious pity.

A-Team win

George (Rainbow) vs Yogi Bear?

[Ravenswing]

Yogi zips George's mouth shut. The entire world awards him medals and the right to any picaninc basket he wishes.

Yogi wins!

Bun-bun ( Sluggy.com (http://www.sluggy.com) ) vs Galactus.

[Expeditor]

Well Yogi is a big bear who, additionally, is smarter than the average bear. George is a small, pink, furry Hippo. Yogi squashes George into a picnic basket and eats him.

EDIT: and ninjas always win.

EDIT2: It was ignored! Also, Dum dum seems to be a dog, not a ninja. Still, he had a pirate hat on the last time I saw him, so he still wins!

EDIT3: Gah, there's too much editting going on! You do one! I'm reading comics!

EDIT4: Shockwave (Transformers) vs Brainaiac?

[Ravenswing]

You already did that!

[Silver_Weasel]

Bun-Bun is a rip off of Max (From Sam & Max)
Galactus is a M_rvel character with no copyright infringements ever ever ever Amen.
Galactus eats him.

Herman Munster vs. Gomez Addams?

[CBeet]

gomez would win, have you seen him with a sword?

elektra vs catwoman!

[Expeditor]

[ QUOTE ]
elektra vs catwoman!

[/ QUOTE ]

They both had remarkably poor films, but Elektra wins out for being played by Jennifer Garner! (They also fought in an Amalgam comic, Elektra winning there too)

EDIT: Shockwave vs Brainiac (being as it got hopelessly lost amidst edits!)

[Silver_Weasel]

Shockwave (wiki) - a 35-foot-long ray gun. He possess the power of flight in both modes, and commands the totality of the electromagnetic spectrum allowing him to emit beams of energy in a wide variety of forms.
Brainac (wiki) A vast, superior intelligence limited only by the technology it currently inhabits. Knowledge of the universe is unparalleled, yet its hubris and emotions restrict its potential.

Braniac puts Shcokwave's safety on and ganks him.

Bridger & Rockjaw vs. Statesman and Cuppa_Jo?

[Leif_Roar]

[ QUOTE ]
Bridger & Rockjaw vs. Statesman and Cuppa_Jo?

[/ QUOTE ]

Ooh, tricky one. States does wield a mean nerf bat, but on the other hand Bridger and Rockjaw actually has experience with real beer, and since this face off would have to come down to a drinking contest, my money is on our own forum fathers.

Now, how about Bryan Fury (from the Tekken games) versus Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D.?

[BattleEngine]

[ QUOTE ]
Bridger & Rockjaw vs. Statesman and Cuppa_Jo?

[/ QUOTE ]

As much as i'd love to say Bridger and Rockjaw (they'd definately put up a fight :p), Statesman would just nerf the hell out of them pre-fight and Cuppa_Jo would just delete their posts randomly :p

Statesman then stands proud and claims aloud he saw it in his "vision"

[Lord_Qel_Thyr]

Fury wins it as altho having no true depth perception, calls in S.H.I.E.L.D. and whappa!

the chipmunks vs a very large and hungry lion (
and before anyone mentions, yes i am evil, yes i despise the chimpunks™ and would love to see them in this situation)
oh, and the lion has ear defenders... :D

[Doc_Shango]

As much as I would love to see the Chipmunks devoured especially Theodore (with whom I have a grudge) I was once on the recieving end of a chipmunk savaging. Trust me they do not like to have their chins stroked no matter what any petting zoo worker may say. Therefore the lion devours Theodore but fails to see Alvin and Simon approaching it from behind. I bloodbath ensues as the chirpy creatures nibble the lions back legs off. Then Dave (the creepy bloke they live with) shoots the lion in order put it out of it's misery.

Stormwatch Prime vs Stormwatch Red Vs Stormwatch Black

[Lord_Qel_Thyr]

[ QUOTE ]
As much as I would love to see the Chipmunks devoured especially Theodore (with whom I have a grudge) I was once on the recieving end of a chipmunk savaging. Trust me they do not like to have their chins stroked no matter what any petting zoo worker may say. Therefore the lion devours Theodore but fails to see Alvin and Simon approaching it from behind. I bloodbath ensues as the chirpy creatures nibble the lions back legs off. Then Dave (the creepy bloke they live with) shoots the lion in order put it out of it's misery.

[/ QUOTE ]

:eek: < NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
As much as I would love to see the Chipmunks devoured especially Theodore (with whom I have a grudge) I was once on the recieving end of a chipmunk savaging. Trust me they do not like to have their chins stroked no matter what any petting zoo worker may say. Therefore the lion devours Theodore but fails to see Alvin and Simon approaching it from behind. I bloodbath ensues as the chirpy creatures nibble the lions back legs off. Then Dave (the creepy bloke they live with) shoots the lion in order put it out of it's misery.

[/ QUOTE ]

:eek: < NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]

Stormwatch Prime vs Stormwatch Red Vs Stormwatch Black

[/ QUOTE ]

Stormwatch Prime simply lure the other team into open countryside to negate Hawksmoor's powers before resetting Jenny's alarm clock to 11.59pm, Dec 31, causing her to explode in a shower of sparks and take out the other two.

Stormwatch Red disqualified for being too damn obscure to have Wiki entries.

Oookkaayy... 80s classic villain faceoff...
Lord Of Darkness (Tim Curry, Legend)
vs
Jareth (Daaaviiid Boowwwiee, Labyrinth)
vs
Chamberlain (Frank Oz, Dark Crystal)
vs
Ming The Merciless (Max Von Sydow, Flash Gordon)

...bonus points for overacting and best hair on opposing heroes...

[_Max_]

Chamberlain is a puppet, hence he gets trodden on by the Lord Of Darkness from the start. David Bowie starts to sing the theme-tune to the fight, but is vaporised by Ming The Merciless's power-ring thing.

The Lord of Darkness then charges towards Ming, but is accidentally skewered by the end of the Needle-bit on the spacecraft Flash Gordon has just crashed in with. Flash then defeats Ming in a game of American Football, meaning no-one wins.

> Magneto vs Megabyte (from Reboot)

[Doc_Shango]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
As much as I would love to see the Chipmunks devoured especially Theodore (with whom I have a grudge) I was once on the recieving end of a chipmunk savaging. Trust me they do not like to have their chins stroked no matter what any petting zoo worker may say. Therefore the lion devours Theodore but fails to see Alvin and Simon approaching it from behind. I bloodbath ensues as the chirpy creatures nibble the lions back legs off. Then Dave (the creepy bloke they live with) shoots the lion in order put it out of it's misery.

[/ QUOTE ]

:eek: < NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

I know, I feel the pain too.... if it makes you feel any better the chipmunks are never commerially successful as a duo and are soon bankrupt. They then sell Dave to organ dealers and scratch a living selling their fur to wig makers.

[Duckdee]

I have a really cool match lined-up, but I shall abide by the rules.

<means I have no idea who Megabyte is>

[_Max_]

[ QUOTE ]
I have a really cool match lined-up, but I shall abide by the rules.

<means I have no idea who Megabyte is>

[/ QUOTE ]

Megabyte
Evil virus operating out of the Silicon Tor in Sector 1000. Megabyte plots constantly to corrupt and control Mainframe in order to turn it into his own domain, "Megaframe." Megabyte is a malignant virus, with the ability and the desire to infect other programs. He commands an army of infected binomes. Megabyte possesses incredible physical strength and an unnaturally cunning intellect. In many ways, he is a megalomaniacal dictator; his only purpose is the amassing of power and control. Megabyte has no scruples and constantly takes advantage of other characters in order to achieve his own ends. He has a brutal, almost psychopathic nature and speaks with a deep British accent. In the fourth season he becomes a Trojan Horse virus, gaining the ability to look and sound like any sprite or binome he is able to steal code from. His name is a reference to a unit of computer memory.

Picture: Megabyte (http://uts.cc.utexas.edu/~ifex534/mega.gif)

[Doc_Shango]

Kudos for the reboot match - the "evil dead" spoof epsiode was groovy.
Anyway - Megabyte is a computer virus contained within Mainframe. Magneto commands the magnetic spectrum. With a wave of his hand an EMP pulse rushes forth destroying Megabyte or so it seems. Having mutated into a self replicating virus a second megabyte watches from the shadows. Slowly he turns to and heads back into the darkness and begins to talk to unseen others. As he finishes 1000 identical voices answer him.... winner Magneto.....for now....

Right Duckdee has the floor:-

[Cass_]

Acctually he controls magnetic feilds, which is a good job as EMP's don't affect the data on a magnetic disk, jsut fries the chips that control the EIDE interface, he still would win though. :p

[Doc_Shango]

erm. :o ...yeah but he did once knock out all power sources in the world including Shiar Technology by doing something in the upper atmosphere (my memory fails here but Sabretooth got out and threatened Jubilee until Bishop slapped him around abit) so he does the same thing here and fries the chips and circuits!!.... yes I'm padding..... move on :D

Edit for spelling

[Cass_]

that would require me reading Marvel, which isent going to happen anytime soon. :D

Duckdee, bring on the next match befor we get to far off topic. :D

[Lord_Qel_Thyr]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I have a really cool match lined-up, but I shall abide by the rules.

<means I have no idea who Megabyte is>

[/ QUOTE ]

Megabyte
Evil virus operating out of the Silicon Tor in Sector 1000. Megabyte plots constantly to corrupt and control Mainframe in order to turn it into his own domain, "Megaframe." Megabyte is a malignant virus, with the ability and the desire to infect other programs. He commands an army of infected binomes. Megabyte possesses incredible physical strength and an unnaturally cunning intellect. In many ways, he is a megalomaniacal dictator; his only purpose is the amassing of power and control. Megabyte has no scruples and constantly takes advantage of other characters in order to achieve his own ends. He has a brutal, almost psychopathic nature and speaks with a deep British accent. In the fourth season he becomes a Trojan Horse virus, gaining the ability to look and sound like any sprite or binome he is able to steal code from. His name is a reference to a unit of computer memory.

Picture: Megabyte (http://uts.cc.utexas.edu/~ifex534/mega.gif)

[/ QUOTE ]

ah, reboot, what a series... lost track of it once the kid grew up tho and became the main char searching for bob or whatever the guy was called

[_Max_]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I have a really cool match lined-up, but I shall abide by the rules.

<means I have no idea who Megabyte is>

[/ QUOTE ]

Megabyte
Evil virus operating out of the Silicon Tor in Sector 1000. Megabyte plots constantly to corrupt and control Mainframe in order to turn it into his own domain, "Megaframe." Megabyte is a malignant virus, with the ability and the desire to infect other programs. He commands an army of infected binomes. Megabyte possesses incredible physical strength and an unnaturally cunning intellect. In many ways, he is a megalomaniacal dictator; his only purpose is the amassing of power and control. Megabyte has no scruples and constantly takes advantage of other characters in order to achieve his own ends. He has a brutal, almost psychopathic nature and speaks with a deep British accent. In the fourth season he becomes a Trojan Horse virus, gaining the ability to look and sound like any sprite or binome he is able to steal code from. His name is a reference to a unit of computer memory.

Picture: Megabyte (http://uts.cc.utexas.edu/~ifex534/mega.gif)

[/ QUOTE ]

ah, reboot, what a series... lost track of it once the kid grew up tho and became the main char searching for bob or whatever the guy was called

[/ QUOTE ]

I have all 4 seasons on my PC :p

[Silver_Weasel]

C'mon Duckdeem before we all quack under the strain ;)

[Lord_Qel_Thyr]

what about continuing, but when duckdee comes back, supliment that as the next one, or a joint one?

[Shotaro]

good idea :)

angry man-hating lesbian vs man-loving lesbian vs Santa Claus vs the Easter Bunny

EDIT: how come you can say lesbian but not g a y - i thought that was (much as i despise not only the concept but the phrase itself!) 'Politically Correct' *shudder* now?

[Duckdee]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I have a really cool match lined-up, but I shall abide by the rules.

<means I have no idea who Megabyte is>

[/ QUOTE ]

Megabyte
Evil virus operating out of the Silicon Tor in Sector 1000. Megabyte plots constantly to corrupt and control Mainframe in order to turn it into his own domain, "Megaframe." Megabyte is a malignant virus, with the ability and the desire to infect other programs. He commands an army of infected binomes. Megabyte possesses incredible physical strength and an unnaturally cunning intellect. In many ways, he is a megalomaniacal dictator; his only purpose is the amassing of power and control. Megabyte has no scruples and constantly takes advantage of other characters in order to achieve his own ends. He has a brutal, almost psychopathic nature and speaks with a deep British accent. In the fourth season he becomes a Trojan Horse virus, gaining the ability to look and sound like any sprite or binome he is able to steal code from. His name is a reference to a unit of computer memory.

Picture: Megabyte (http://uts.cc.utexas.edu/~ifex534/mega.gif)

[/ QUOTE ]
Wow, I like him!

[Duckdee]

Thanks everyone! :)

I'm scared you're not going to approve of this after that build-up! :eek:

They may not be classed as Superheroes, but it would be an awesome sight to see; Dr Perry Cox vs Dr Greg House!

[_Max_]

House can come, he can diagnose, he can be moody, but in the fighting stakes, Cox wins out right, with witty one-liners such:

"You know newbie, it's your ability to cope under pressure that I admire so much"

Plus he'd tag-team with JD, who would then shout "BANANA HAMMOCK!"

> Bono from U2 vs The Pope (Current)

[Shotaro]

Bono would make a speech about the starving children, begging us to donate as he sits on his own personal wealth, while Pope Benedict undoes the progress that John-Paul made as far as modernizing the church, Bono sees whats happenning and sings directly into the popes ear with a megaphone melting his brain.

ummm i posted one above but if the replier didn't get the reference it would be a waste!

Homer Simpson vs Peter Griffin vs Stan Smith

[Duckdee]

[ QUOTE ]
Bono would make a speech about the starving children, begging us to donate as he sits on his own personal wealth, while Pope Benedict undoes the progress that John-Paul made as far as modernizing the church, Bono sees whats happenning and sings directly into the popes ear with a megaphone melting his brain.

ummm i posted one above but if the replier didn't get the reference it would be a waste!

Homer Simpson vs Peter Griffin vs Stan Smith

[/ QUOTE ]
Homer is "Slow" the others are just plain morons. Homer goes all theatrical and the other two die of a brain meltdown.

Sonic vs Dash of the Incredibles

[Silver_Weasel]

Sony vs. Disney? I point you to the latest issue of PCG.

Dash wins by a lightyear.

Eeyore vs. Marvin the Paranoid Android?

[Stasisesque]

How could you? Pitting Eeyore against Marvin, pah!

Eeyore wins on cuteness factor, but for the actual fight? Neither. They'd call it a draw after arguing apathetically about whose life was worse, then pop off down the PG-rated pub for a bout of sorrow drowning.

Cheetara vs. Quicksilver.

[Duckdee]

[ QUOTE ]
Sony vs. Disney? I point you to the latest issue of PCG.

Dash wins by a lightyear.

Eeyore vs. Marvin the Paranoid Android?

[/ QUOTE ]
Sony? A pox on thee!

[Silver_Weasel]

Cheetara wins for two reasons

1) She's cuter
2) Quicksilver is powerless ;)

Ian Hislop and Paul Merton vs Bill Bailey & Phil Jupiter?

[CBeet]

but they are all great! but ill have to say bill bailey because he's really funny!

right, next!

supergirl vs wonder woman vs the incredible hulk

[Duckdee]

[ QUOTE ]
Cheetara wins for two reasons

1) She's cuter
2) Quicksilver is powerless ;)

Ian Hislop and Paul Merton vs Bill Bailey & Phil Jupiter?

[/ QUOTE ]
Good one!
Ummmm, Paul and Bill cancel eachother out, Phil beats Ian by bombarding him with pop-culture references!

John Locke (Lost) vs Ray Mears

[Silver_Weasel]

Supergirl and Wonder Woman get caught in a half-price sale at ICON. Hulk wins by default.

Ray Mears wins coz Lost is rubbish :)

Marty Hopkirk vs. Slimer(Ghostbusters) vs. Casper vs. Beetlejuice.

[Stasisesque]

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice! wins as he only had 17 minutes in a film named after him. (And Michael Keaton is swoonsome).

Paige vs. Piper vs. Phoebe vs. Prue.

[Silver_Weasel]

Prue sulks, Piper gets flustered, Paige falls over her own cleavage and Phoebe roundhouse kicks the lot of them saying "Haven't got any useful powers, eh?"

Ozzy Osbourne vs Robert Plant vs Slash (G&R) vs Jimmi Hendrix?

[Miss_Marvellous]

The prince of Darkness debuff the rest with his dark powers Turns into the werwolf from Bark at the moon and slashes them to pieces.

Pac Man Vs Ms Pac Man

[Silver_Weasel]

From Google Fight

Pacman
7,860,000 results
Ms. Pacman
1,680,000 results

Must be those powerpellets

Popeye vs. Swamp Thing (if he had to reform in a patch of spinach)?

[Loki_Oathbreaker]

Swamp Thing would destroy Popeye from the inside ...

Dream of the Endless versus Nightmare (Marvel).

[The_Question]

[ QUOTE ]
Swamp Thing would destroy Popeye from the inside ...

Dream of the Endless versus Nightmare (Marvel).

[/ QUOTE ]

Nightmare got beat by Cable, so he loses by default the big chump.

Howard the Duck vs Donald Duck.

[CBeet]

howard! name one reason why he shouldnt?

magneto vs apocolypse in the middle of new york during rush hour

[The_Question]

[ QUOTE ]
howard! name one reason why he shouldnt?

[/ QUOTE ]

Well Donald has a lot of backup from Daisy, Huey, Duey and Louey, Giro, Launchpad etc etc. Plus he can call upon Scrooges vast wealth to hire professional assassins. Its not just a simple brawl...

Apocalypse beats Magneto in every conceivable way. AoA was a fluke.

[Hell_Kitty]

Well since no one has put anything up and I've been reading it all today....

Tifa Vs Cloud (Both FF VII)

[_Max_]

Tifa goes on the attack first, doing roundhouse kicks and moves with dolphins, but is countered by Cloud whacking her over the head with an oversized sword. Tifa recovers and goes on the offensive again, but accidentally impales herself on Cloud's hair, Cloud wins.

> Gordon Freeman vs Master Chief (Halo) vs DoomGuy vs Guy from Quake 2

[Silver_Weasel]

Doom Guy launches the BFG at Halo killing him. Quake guy grabs the Quad damage and shreds Doom. Gordon just sits at the back charging the Muon (sp?) gun and blasts him through the wall.

Gordon wins because Doom guy hadn't pressed "IDKFA" ;)

Coffee vs Red Bull?

[CBeet]

coffee because red bull would fly off and coffee would attack it in mid flight.

homer from the simpsons vs fry from futurama

[Silver_Weasel]

Homer has a family and Fry can't get off with a Cyclops?

Homer wins

Apu vs. Arkwright (Open All Hours)?

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]

Apu vs. Arkwright (Open All Hours)?

[/ QUOTE ]

Now THAT's old school.

Apu is tempted by a seemingly friendly Arkwright into seeing a genuine antique till at work close up.

*zwwwwwwwwiipSNAP*.

Arkwright's only problem then is to get the severed head out.

Let's turn this thread up to 11:

Aerosmith vs KISS vs Queen vs The Darkness?

[_Max_]

Aerosmith try bashing their way through a brick wall, not realising the one from 'Walk This Way' was polystyrene, so they're out already with fractured skulls. KISS start to attack the Darkness, but as soon as Justin sees Gene Wilder's scary face, he screams so loudly that it knocks them unconscious.

This leaves the scream-proof Justin vs the whole of Queen. Using a shaver, he removes Freddy's moustache, draining him of his magic power, a la Samson & Delila. However, before he can make another move, he is blasted by a laser beam emitted from Brain May's guitar as in the It's A Kind Of Magic video.

Queen win, but with a tragic loss of a moustache.

> Lord Recluse vs Doctor Octopus

[Dead Calm]

Lord Recluse starts with an advantage, due to Doc Ocks past bad spider-related experiences, but then the Doc notices that the Arachnos emblem looks rather derivative. This causes all previous legal settlements to be thrown out, and the result of the fight is delayed several years while the dispute goes through the courts.

Once that's finished, Doc Ock wins, because he was in Raiders of the Lost Ark, and Lord Recluse wasn't.

Galactus Vs Unicron in a hotdog eating contest.

[Silver_Weasel]

You already know my answer ;)

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
You already know my answer ;)

[/ QUOTE ]

Jedi skills he has.

Speaking of using anger as key to the dark path, etc...

Darth Vader (SW)
vs
Mr. Furious (Mystery Men)
vs
Gordon Ramsay (The F-Word)
vs
Sharon Osbourne (X-Factor)

[Stasisesque]

Darth Vader's voice synthesiser breaks just as he's about to reveal the big secret. The result being, a temper tantrum in a thick welsh accent; he rushes off to his trailer. Mr Furious gets really, really angry at the fact that one of the contestants has dropped out, Ramsey starts swearing blindly on live television before the watershed, and is dragged off wielding a spatula by the beeb. Sharon tells Mr Furious he looks adorable when bright red and screaming; a vein in his forehead explodes.

Sharon wins.

Rocko (Rocko's Modern Life) vs. Ren (Ren and Stimpy)

[The_Question]

[ QUOTE ]
Rocko (Rocko's Modern Life) vs. Ren (Ren and Stimpy)

[/ QUOTE ]

Are we allowing sidekicks/pets?

[Silver_Weasel]

I get the feeling anything goes ;)

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
I get the feeling anything goes ;)

[/ QUOTE ]

Not the HISTORY ERASER BUTTON, surely?

[CBeet]

ren would windue to him being such a complete idiot. (i dont know why, but it works..)

galacticus vs brainiac

[Lord_Qel_Thyr]

havent we had this one b4?

[_Max_]

I don;t think so, it's just Galactus is in every 5th fight or so :p

[DreamWeaver]

Honestly, this Galactus guy's a planet addict. Far too high in carbs. Needs to go on Atkins to curb his appetite.

Okay, four-way horror matchup:

Pinhead (Clive Barker's Hellraiser)
vs
Pennywise the Clown (Stephen King's IT)
vs
Freddie Krueger (Wes Craven's New Nightmare, etc)
vs
Trisha Goddard (Channel Five's Worst Commercial Mistakes...and Shaun of the Dead)

[Doc_Shango]

Trisha immediately sits the others down and tries to get to the bottom of their murderous instinct. They are bombarded by boos from the studio audience causing Pennywise to realise that he's really just angry with his mother. The other killers finally tire of the soul searching and decide to go back to what they do best. As they begin to advance on the jeering crowd they all have a collective realisation. As normal no matter what the subject matter (depression, domestic violence, addiction) not only has Trisha experienced it but shes dealt with it much better than the guests on the show. As this sinks in Trisha reveals herself to be the greatest murderer of all time and butchers the lot of them. Winner by bloody dismemberment Trisha (she subsequently goes on to star in several shoddy movies eventually fighting Ash from the Evil Dead in Evil Trisha: the Televised Dead)
Next up in absence of me finding something Galactus can't eat
Jesse "The Body" Ventura Vs Arnold "The Guvenator" Schwarzenegger

[_Max_]

Jesse Ventura wouldn;t even get near Arnie. Mr Schwarzenegger would use a seemingly infinite supply of guns and ammunition, whilst shouting "Quuuuuuick, get to de choppah!" leaving Jesse in bit of a mess.

Arnie would then sentnce the corpse to capital punishment, just to apply some overkill.

> The Human League vs The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (Comic version)

[Silver_Weasel]

The Invisible Man would try to cop off with the ladies from the Human League, but would become visible once in Phil Oakey's make-up/perfume shield. Jekyl would politely ask them to stop. Nemo would flee from the 'modern-type music' back to his sub. Quartermain and Mina would start shagging for an unknown reason because it's an Alan Moore book; then Jekyl would get jealous; Hyde would appear and he'd shag Alain and Mina together, whilst the Human League Girls would start singing "Together in Electric Dreams", whilst Phil Oakey went to re-apply his make up. Hyde would get up from the blood-soaked corpses and see a proper lady, (The Invisible Man in makeup), mellow, change into Jekyl; and get married.

Phil comes back and sings "Don't you want me" at the Wedding.

Both win.

(No it doesn't make sense, because it's an Alan Moore book...which reminds me...)

Halfway through the ceremony, someone teleports a Psychic Alien Corpse into the middle of the Church and Ozymandias screams "Damn, misssed!". Dr. Manhatten kills him and then reforms the group (literally) with him on vocals. The Inhuman League then storm the charts in Belgium, but never quite make it big over here as the lead singer is nude, and blue.

Puffins vs Penguins?

[FloatingFatMan]

Penguins would kick the Puffins backside owing to the fact that they're covered with a MUCH thicker layer of chocolate! :p

Earthworm Jim vs The Tick anyone? :p

[Doc_Shango]

With cries of SPOOOOON!! and WHEE DOGGIE!! the battle is joined. Jim blazes away as the Tick advances unharmed by the blaster fire. As the Tick gets closer Jim whips himself around the Ticks leg and hurls him sideways. The Tick smashes to earth inadvertantly hitting Peter Puppy who has was watching from nearby bushes. Peter instantly begins to transform and starts chewing on the Tick. The Tick manages to beat Peter back using a conviently located roll of newspaper. The Tick then turns back to face Jim only to see that in the time taken to take care of Peter, Jim has set up an elaborate Cow/See Saw arangement. The Tick being the Tick discounts this however and is subsequently catapulted across 2 states and out of the match.
Winner Jim

Next Galactus vs Jamie Oliver and his prehensile tongue

or (before Weasel answers :) )

Conan Vs Aragorn

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]

Conan Vs Aragorn

[/ QUOTE ]

No contest: the big lummox gets turned into an Austrian souvenir pincushion with arrows before the bad-boy Ranger incinerates him with one, long, smouldering look...

*sigh*

...where was I? Oh yes...

King Kong vs Godzilla vs Mothra vs Steve Irwin?

[Lord_Qel_Thyr]

Crikey, Steve gets ganked for trying to prod the others in all the wrong places

Winner: the other 3, and society

Square-Enix Rumble time

Cloud (FF7) vs Squall (FF8) vs Zidane (FF9) vs Tidus (FF10) vs Yuna (FF10-2) vs Sora (Kingdom Hearts 1) vs a Moogle!!!

[Tufty]

steve irwin would immediately jump on godzilla (being the most reptilian of the lot) and hog tie him. king kong would just rip off mothra's wings leaving kong vs irwin.

kong would actually fall in love with steve (he does look quite similar to naomi watts in some strange way) and they would try and have babies.


next battle:

Gordon the Gopher vs Sweep the Dog (Sooty's [censored])

[Stasisesque]

[ QUOTE ]
Cloud (FF7) vs Squall (FF8) vs Zidane (FF9) vs Tidus (FF10) vs Yuna (FF10-2) vs Sora (Kingdom Hearts 1) vs a Moogle!!!


[/ QUOTE ]

I don't know what a Moogle is, so that wins!


[ QUOTE ]
Gordon the Gopher vs Sweep the Dog (Sooty's [censored])

[/ QUOTE ]

Based on hatemail: Gordon wins.
Based on cuteness factor: Sweep wins.
An actual hand puppet fight: Probably isn't suitable for this forum ;)

Muffin the Mule (original puppet) vs. Muffin the Mule (animation)

[Doulos]

Hope I get in in time to say sweep, face facts gordon just went squeek, Sotty is a known psycho. Optimus Prime vs Gambit, please... Prime everytime.

My battle is as follows.

Pikachu (however its spelt) vs the man eating rabbit from monty python and the holy grail...

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
Hope I get in in time to say sweep, face facts gordon just went squeek, Sotty is a known psycho.

[/ QUOTE ]

I know. If you stayed in the Le Meridien V&A next to Granada Studios in Salford, every room was given a Granada theme and memorabilia (eg: presidential suite was Jewel In The Crown, and the bar is festooned with Sherlock Homes stuff. Horribly cute.)

...I got Sooty. Which had a Sooty in a glass case. Watching me every moment I was in the room. Watching me as I changed. Watching me as I showered. Waiting. PLOTTING... *yeep*

Oddly enough I didn't sleep too well.

[ QUOTE ]

Pikachu (however its spelt) vs the man eating rabbit from monty python and the holy grail...

[/ QUOTE ]

Pika looks to be on the losing end of a tough fight, until Team Rocket decide that the rabbit would be a good acquisition(so long as it was renamed Ferocaflopsy or something). Cue comedy death for Jesse and James and that darn cat, and the rabbit revealing it has a hitherto unsuspected tender side, leave-em-laughing-ending, the lot.

Tag team:
Dilbert, Dogbert & Wally (Dilbert) (http://www.dilbert.com)
vs
Riff, Bunbun & Kiki (Sluggy Freelance) (http://www.sluggy.com)

[Lord_Qel_Thyr]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Cloud (FF7) vs Squall (FF8) vs Zidane (FF9) vs Tidus (FF10) vs Yuna (FF10-2) vs Sora (Kingdom Hearts 1) vs a Moogle!!!


[/ QUOTE ]

I don't know what a Moogle is, so that wins!


[/ QUOTE ]

gah, stasis, you nerfed my protagonists! the moogle was the cannon fodder!!! oh well...

death to the rodents!!

pikachu zaps the vorpal bunny a bit, the rabbit lunges, and it quickly turns into a spectacle of a lunging white rabbit and a yellow mouse using quick attack, eventually they both get tired, and both end up getting grenaded...

hmm, im seeing a pattern emerging in my thoughts, either everyone dies, or someone get badly ganked

next up, timeskipping

Cloud (FF7) and Squall (FF8) vs Cloud (Kingdom Hearts 1) and Leon (Kingdom Hearts 1)

note: for those who dont kno, Leon IS Squall (2nd name was Leonheart or Leonhart, hence his best move and swd being called the Lionheart)

anyhoo, slightly worrying i can speak so much about pokemon that well

the geek is strong in me...

Edit:

gah, how did it take me 12 minutes to type that!

ok, Dilbert wins as Catbert and Ratbert are hiding in the wings and turn the tables on the others

ok, next one, my original thought, the Mirror tag duel thingy.

[Doulos]

Don't know those people but I have one from the that needs a resolution, tag team match up.

Calvin & Hobbes V Christopher Robin & Tigger...

[Silver_Weasel]

Calvin throws a cape on and becomes Stupendous Man to fight the evil Alien Tigger, whilst Hobbes laments on Christopher Robin being turned into a girl by Disney. Tigger bounces on Calvin, (scoring -7 points in Calvinball because it's a Tuesday) and bounces over to Hobbes. Hobbes shreds him with one paw, picks up the bedraggled Calvin and takes a picture of him with the new Christine Robin; then laughs at Calvin because he's got cooties.

Calvin dives on Hobbes to pummel him then ends up in a warm hug.
Christine Robin picks up Tigger and drags him back upstairs by his paw.

No score draw.

The Nine Doctor Who's..

WHO would win? (Or is that rhetorical?)

[_Max_]

The first Doctor would ponder on things, and try explaining everything to his granddaughter, and get hit over the head by a cricket bat wielded by the Fifth Doctor. The Ninth doctore would match the Fifth in a sword-vs-cricket bat fight, and win. The eight Doctor would then step on the Ninth's silly trainers and incapacitate him before withdrawing from the fight after only one round.

The Third Doctor would fly in on his cape, and boot the Second Doctor who would be acting all moody in the corner, and be clobbered himself by the Seventh Doctor's umbrella. The sixth Doctor would then try to attack, but would be tripped up by the Fourth Doctor's scarf.

The Fourth and Seventh Doctor would then throw their hats at each other Oddjob style, until one was the victor, which, in terms of coolness factor, would be the Fourth Doctor.

> Martin Luther King vs The Punisher?

[Sugar_Rush]

King, cos the Punisher only has nightmares...


Danger Mouse vs Count Duckula

[Silver_Weasel]

[ QUOTE ]
King, cos the Punisher only has nightmares...


[/ QUOTE ]
Quality Answer :)

Danger Mouse easily. He's already done it once to get the Feathers from the Vampire Duck.

Fenella (Chorlton and The Wheelies) vs. Mildred Hubble (The Worst Witch) vs Grotbags (Emu's Pink Windmill) vs Hazel Mcwitch(Rentaghost)?

Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, Hermione and Willow are banned from ringside. :)

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]


Fenella (Chorlton and The Wheelies) vs. Mildred Hubble (The Worst Witch) vs Grotbags (Emu's Pink Windmill) vs Hazel Mcwitch(Rentaghost)?

Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, Hermione and Willow are banned from ringside. :)

[/ QUOTE ]

Fenella tries out a spell from Claptrap that goes horribly wrong, disappearing in a cloud of foul-smelling steam and a cry of "aah, Fe***iniog...". This causes Hazel to accidentally hold her nose and teleport herself out of the arena. Grotbags is disqualified due to frank rubbishness, leaving Mildred Hubble as default winner - until being vaporised by late entry Hermione Granger, who's that competitive enough she needs to to force her way into this thread.

Oookay: 80s cheese four-way:

Jesse Mach (Rex Smith, StreetHawk)
vs
Jonathon Chase (Simon McCorkindale, Manimal)
vs
Ralph Hinkley (Bill Katt, Greatest American Hero)
vs
Michael Knight (The Hoff, Knight Rider)

Bonus points for best hair post-fight.

[Doulos]

Michael Knight, cause lets face it Kit would talk everyone into a stupor then he would show them his oh so tight jeans, death by heart attack and hypnotic whum-whum noises.

The Punisher and PsiDUCK (coolest of the crappy pokemon) vs Wolverine and Tinkerbell

[Standoff]

Wolvie and the Punisher are both gritty realists, and PsiDuck's too dumb to think anything at all, so Tinkerbell expires in a puff of disbelief.

Punisher expends all his ammo on Wolvie, who just heals up after each attack, then a little <snickt!> and it's down to the Wolverine vs the Duck.

For all his regen capabilities W's not got much in the way of mezz protection, so agitated by the earlier gunfire PD will have him wibbling on the floor in no time.

Result: Win for Punisher and PsiDuck


Next - a classic: Astronaut vs Caveman

[Doulos]

Depends where the fight is...

[Standoff]

Picky. :p

OK, it's a one-on-one fight in an abandoned Viking village.

Both combatants wear typical clothes (flight suit, not space suit, for astronaut) but otherwise have no tools or items from their usual environment.

[Doulos]

caveman, astronauts are trained to space walk and fly space craft, he would win a game of chess but the caveman was raised on mamoths and sabre tooth tigers... him, dim, him hairy, him hard... brute one on one with a petless mastermind, both level 2... easy to call.

Riggs (lethal weapon) Vs McClane (die hard)

[Expeditor]

[ QUOTE ]
Next - a classic: Astronaut vs Caveman

[/ QUOTE ]

5 INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - DAY
Spike and Angel are having a loud, passionate argument.

SPIKE
It's [censored], Angel! It's your brand of [censored] from the first to last.

ANGEL
No, you can't ever see the big picture. You can't see any picture!

SPIKE
I am talking about something primal. Right? Savagery. Brutal animal instinct.

ANGEL
And that wins out every time with you.
(in Spike's face)
You know, the human race has evolved, Spike!
(walks away from Spike)

SPIKE
(follows Angel making mocking gestures)
Oh, into a bunch of namby-pamby, self-analyzing [censored] who could never hope to—

ANGEL
We're bigger. We're smarter. Plus, there's a thing called teamwork, not to mention the superstitious terror of your pure aggressors!

SPIKE
You just want it to be the way you want it to be.

ANGEL
(yelling)
It's not about what I want!

WESLEY
(walks up to the office door)
Sorry. Is this something we should all be discussing?

ANGEL
(embarrassed to be caught by Wes, backs away from Spike)
No.

WESLEY
It just...sounds a little serious.

ANGEL
It was mostly...theoretical. We...

SPIKE
(calmly)
We were just working out a b—
(passionate again)
Look, if cavemen and astronauts got into a fight, who would win?
(crosses his arms and looks expectantly at Wes)

WESLEY
Ah. You've been yelling at each other for 40 minutes about this?
(Angel looks down, Spike stares at Wes, still expecting an answer)
(looks pensive, crosses his arms)
Do the astronauts have weapons?

ANGEL & SPIKE
(simultaneously)
No.


---

Fun stuff :) Personally I'd route for the cave man, unless it's a ninja astronaut.


Riggs (lethal weapon) Vs McClane (die hard)?

Riggs - he had a nutty laugh, impeccable marksmanship and hair. (did Bruce Willis have hair in the Die Hard days? - I think it might have been receding, I forget)

EDIT: I can confirm McClane had hair. In all 3 films if the dvd covers are anything to go by.

Megatron vs Galvatron

[_Max_]

My speciality here :D

Okay, in story-lines such as Target: 2006, Megatron and Galvatron were evenly matched..but then again, in Fallen Angel and Time Wars, Galavatron owned Megatron, along with half the Decepticons.

On their individual merits however I'd still root for Galvatron, as his Particle cannon exceeds the firepower of Megatron's Fisson cannon, plus, as he transforms into a space-cannon, he far outweighs Megatron in the usefulness stakes, who turns into a bloomin' Walther P-38 special.

Hence, Galvatron transforms into space-cannon mode, and blows Megatron away.

> J.C.Denton (Deus Ex) vs Morpheus (Matrix)

[Expeditor]

[ QUOTE ]
Okay, in story-lines such as Target: 2006, Megatron and Galvatron were evenly matched..but then again, in Fallen Angel and Time Wars, Galavatron owned Megatron, along with half the Decepticons.

On their individual merits however I'd still root for Galvatron, as his Particle cannon exceeds the firepower of Megatron's Fisson cannon, plus, as he transforms into a space-cannon, he far outweighs Megatron in the usefulness stakes, who turns into a bloomin' Walther P-38 special.

[/ QUOTE ]

Megatron has a fusion cannon - and can access anti-matter from a black hole, but only in the UK apparently (he never used it in the US comics to my recollection).

I have a rather vague recollection of a rather long and semi-scientific news post by someone insisting a fusion cannon would be more powerful than a particle cannon (unless the particle cannon had access to unlimited power, which it did at first (from Unicron)).

But yeah, the wee pistol alt-mode was a little sub par ;) Now the War Within tank alt mode, that's more like it!

[Silver_Weasel]

Morpheus manages "Whoa Bill!" before Denton's sniper rifle blows his head into a fluttering neckflap.

John Constantine (Hellblazer) vs Pinhead (Hellrazer)?

(And not that sub-par [censored] of Keanu Reeves..I mean the REAL Constantine)

[_Max_]

[ QUOTE ]
Morpheus manages "Whoa Bill!" before Denton's sniper rifle blows his head into a fluttering neckflap.


[/ QUOTE ]

Morpheus was the one played by Laurence Fishburne, not Keanu Reeves of Bill and Ted fame. :p

[Hell_Kitty]

[ QUOTE ]


John Constantine (Hellblazer) vs Pinhead (Hellrazer)?

(And not that sub-par [censored] of Keanu Reeves..I mean the REAL Constantine)

[/ QUOTE ]

Well don't know that Constantine so I'm afraid I'm going to have to say, Pinhead.

Tellytubbies VS Bungle George and Zippy from Rainbow

[Lord_Qel_Thyr]

Pinhead, as altho the demons he summons are what constantine deals with, Actupunctor man brings them, and keeps bringing them, and... etc

Big Bird vs Barney vs Big Bear vs a Fire elemental

EDIT
NOOOO!!! beaten again!!!

ok, as the teletubbies out number the other two, plus one looks quite dodgy, they win, 1 on the fact they have the odss, and 2, zippy gets taken away after being linked to a sex scandal, or at least a theoretical one...

back to the puppets!

[Silver_Weasel]

[ QUOTE ]
Pinhead, as altho the demons he summons are what constantine deals with, Actupunctor man brings them, and keeps bringing them, and... etc

Big Bird vs Barney vs Big Bear vs a Fire elemental

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't care, but I'm gonna stay and watch. :D

Sidney Poitier vs. Robert Smith of the Cure vs. Barbara Streisand (All in Godzilla mode)

[Lord_Qel_Thyr]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Pinhead, as altho the demons he summons are what constantine deals with, Actupunctor man brings them, and keeps bringing them, and... etc

Big Bird vs Barney vs Big Bear vs a Fire elemental

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't care, but I'm gonna stay and watch. :D

Sidney Poitier vs. Robert Smith of the Cure vs. Barbara Streisand (All in Godzilla mode)

[/ QUOTE ]

:(

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Pinhead, as altho the demons he summons are what constantine deals with, Actupunctor man brings them, and keeps bringing them, and... etc

Big Bird vs Barney vs Big Bear vs a Fire elemental

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't care, but I'm gonna stay and watch. :D

Sidney Poitier vs. Robert Smith of the Cure vs. Barbara Streisand (All in Godzilla mode)

[/ QUOTE ]

:(

[/ QUOTE ]

Smith-Ra for the win, simply by putting copy of Disintegration on giant CD player and causing others to implode in fits of misery.

And a late result: Barney, who has been used for prisoner interrogation sessions in the Gulf War (true! - clicky) (http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0330375482) calls in a favour from the White House and has the other three sent to Gitmo. Bear is then relentlessly questioned about the terrorist training camp known as the "Blue House", while the elemental is flown via secret rendition to Russia for recycling into rocket propellant. Big Bird loves everybody no matter what happens, befriends a guard and escapes to Boston, where he's now running Duck tours. (Sorry, I'm a fan.)

Tough cop special:

Harry Callahan (San Francisco PD, Homicide)
vs
Horatio Caine (Miami-Dade PD, CSI)
vs
Sam Vimes (Ankh-Morpork Watch, Commander)
vs
Tom Hanson (LAPD, Youth Crime Unit)

[Doulos]

Sam Vines would win, his wife breeds dragons... he's been through more rubbish than all the others combined. He might not be the best fighter of them all but he always seems to end up on top.

Jack Bauer (24, CTU, Kiefer Sutherland) vs James Bond (THE James Bond, Sean Connery)

[Hell_Kitty]

James Bond, 'specialy Sean Connary FTW

The Muppets vs The Fraggles

[Tufty]

muppets! Animal would just rip everyone to bits.

william wallace (braveheart) vs maximus (gladiator)

[Doulos]

William Wallace. At least he tried to have the right accent.

Actually this is a tough one to call, I'd have to say 12 rounds and Maximus wins on points. Historically speaking one is fictional and the other is so barely represented factually by the movie that they both deserve to loose. Maximus wins it cause it took more people to capture him.

Jack Bauer would OWN 007, sorry he really would, no gadgets just getting the job done.

next up is a tough one.

Gordon Freeman (half life) Vs The commando chappie from doom...

[DreamWeaver]

Assuming Alyx and Dog are barred from ringside and signature weapons only, it's BFG vs crowbar and a wimpy scientist versus Dwayne Johnson. Sorry Gordon.

For our next bout:
Lord Voldemort vs Lord Recluse?
For this match only, minions and henchmen ARE allowed.

[Hell_Kitty]

Sorry Lord Voldermort being dead is a big advantage in his case since he won't be feeling much pain annd would just posses someone to continue the fight.

Winner Lord Voldermort

Oh and to DouGRAMP, the Sean Connery Bond hardly got any gadgets and would beat Jack black and blue since he's more suited to working alone then Jack is. :)

[Doulos]

[ QUOTE ]
Oh and to DouGRAMP, the Sean Connery Bond hardly got any gadgets and would beat Jack black and blue since he's more suited to working alone then Jack is. :)

[/ QUOTE ]

Jack cut off his partners hand with an axe to get the job done.

Jack been tortured by more than a man with a laser running up the table.

Jack seen his wife die, James has commitment issues. Jack got the killer in style.

Jack is nastier than 007 could ever be (bar maybe timothy dalton) and is awesome at working alone...

I like 24...

next fight:

The Jolly Green Giant vs Capt. Birdseye.

[Doc_Shango]

I'm getting flashbacks to Jason and the Argonauts ( in model format! (http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Dimension/8075/talos.jpg) ) as Talos bends down and picks up the Argo. (only with the now Angry Green Giant and Captain Birdseyes trawler). The Angry Green Giant picks up the Captains Boat and proceeds to smash it to pieces. As he plummets towards a watery grave Captain Birdseye hurls his harpoon which arcs upwards striking the giant in the eye. So as he slips beneath the water the Captain smiles as he sees the Dieing Green Giant Pitch backwards and fall.

Result - Score Draw

Next Up - Sinister/Dexter Vs Deadpool in a 2v1 handicap match

[CBeet]

if you mean mr sinister from X-men (http://ultimatecomics.free.fr/xmen/images/aoa/AoA_Sinister.jpg) then i would say sinister's team would win

now, shadow king vs phoenix

[Fury_BoB_Doc]

Phoenix

didnt jean beat shadow king anyhow or did i miss something

um...........morph vs mistique (cos they have similar powers)

[_Max_]

Morph would agonise over how "They all left me behind" (Quoting from X-Men:TAS) whilst Mystique would simply kick his butt whilst he was doing so.

> A salesman for AMD vs a saleswoman for Intel

[Expeditor]

Mystique, easily - Morph from the cartoon was a sap and from AoA he didn't come across as being all that capable beyond shape shifting. Mystique is an excellent fighter and much better at "psychological warfare" - certainly neither would be able to use shape shifting for the element of surprise, there just being the two of them and all!

An Arachnos Wolfspider versus Kraken (ok I admit it, I just love seeing the little bleeders get zapped)

EDIT: Do the salespeople have weapons?

<removed because I try to curb my tendency towards violent imagery in publicly available media!>

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]

An Arachnos Wolfspider versus Kraken (ok I admit it, I just love seeing the little bleeders get zapped)

EDIT: Do the salespeople have weapons?

<removed because I try to curb my tendency towards violent imagery in publicly available media!>

[/ QUOTE ]

Match 1: Wolf spiders being the redshirts of the Arachnos world and since no self-respecting hero goes Lusca hunting any more, match goes to the big calamari.

Match 2: One of my ex's was an AMD sales staffer from the Austin office, and they're SCARY. Simple job: AMD give a peace offering of an Athlon 2000+ CPU in a display box. However, at the first whiff of electricity it superheats to the temperature of a small sun, taking the Intel offices with it.

Next match:
The Question (or any alts)
vs
Jeremy Paxman's online avatar (clicky!) (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/newsnight/4583924.stm)

[Doulos]

Paxman FTW!!! h1z 1337 5p34k 5k1lld5 w0uld pwnzzz 7h3 qu35710n

next up

Ghandi & Mother Teresa

[CBeet]

ok thats just cruel! ohhh ermm... mother teresa, simply.. because!

hmmm.

lobo vs juggernaut

[Star_Jewel]

I don't know Lobo, and i think Juggernaut is just a big tank-like person. So probably Juggy will bash Lobo into a wall leaving him uncontious.

Juggernaut wins!

this one:
Spectrum (Matt Tracker, MASK) vs Beast (prof. Hank, X-men cartoons)

[Animal_Mutha_EU]

Juggernaut defo. Heres a couple more to consider:

Slaine (warp-frenzied psycho)
vrs.
Captain America (Clean living do-gooder)

&

Tiffany (Teenie pop-star & playboy centre fold)
vrs.
Debbie Harry (Teenie pop-star & West end musical person)

[Fury_BoB_Doc]

Tiffany would win between them too, beast would kill spectrum, and cap america's........well CAPTAIN AMERICA he can't lose.

lets see statesman vs superman?

[Silver_Weasel]

Supes gets ED'd and joins the "chronic complainers"

J'ohnn J'ones (Martian Manhunter) vs. Vision

[Bewilderer]

[ QUOTE ]
lets see statesman vs superman?

[/ QUOTE ]
first, statesman would change superman's name in fear of a lawsuit. then he'd nerf superman so he could win (superman would be 'just' a tanker, whereas statesman is, um, something else).

[Doctor_Nookie]

Vision, simply as a guess cos I have no idea who they are!

Danger Mouse vs Mighty Mouse

Edit: and for a bonus point: King Kong vs Bea Arthur

[Sugar_Rush]

Danger Mouse, simply because he's Danger Mouse!

oh, and Kong, cos 'beauty killed the beast', Bea wouldn't stand a chance.

one for the webheads:

Dreamweaver vs Notepad :D

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]

Dreamweaver vs Notepad :D

[/ QUOTE ]

How dare you mention my arch-enemy on these boards! Though one strike from my thirty-ton Manual of Doom shall drive the evildoer from here...

Weirdo central:

Nightcrawler vs Beast Boy

[Silver_Weasel]

*bamf* *bamf* *bamf* *bamf* Splat...Nightcrawler wins :)

Level 50 Scrapper (CoH) vs Level 70 Warrior (EQ) vs Level 60 Paladin (WoW)?

[Syra]

Scrapper. EQ Warrior would only hold the Scrapper's aggro, thus getting himself killed, and the Paladin could only stun the Scrapper for a few seconds every minute, never mind hurt it. :p

Frank Castle vs Kingpin.

<_<

[Silver_Weasel]

Was already hinted at in the movie...

The Punisher has been smacked around everytime he's got near the Kingpin; and decided not to take him out as there would always be another Kingpin.

Spiderman vs Spidergirl vs Spiderwoman?

[Loki_Oathbreaker]

Well, Peter wouldn't fight his own daughter, who will get her [censored] kicked by Spider-Woman. (either Jessica Drew or Julia Carpenter)
In a bout of rage, Spidey will attack her and win.

Winner: The Classic One

Thanos vs Death of the Endless - Thanos got the 'ole Infinity Gauntlet back and decided that he cannot allow any personifications of Death other than his own mistress.

[Silver_Weasel]

Thanos struts and uses every power at his disposal to shred Death into tatters.

Then Morpheus turns up and says "Time to wake up" and there's the flapping of wings.

The PTA vs The Boy Scouts vs The Servants of Cthulu?

[Irradiator_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Thanos struts and uses every power at his disposal to shred Death into tatters.

Then Morpheus turns up and says "Time to wake up" and there's the flapping of wings.

The PTA vs The Boy Scouts vs The Servants of Cthulu?

[/ QUOTE ]

Boy Scouts are always prepared, so the servants of Cthulu would be nothing more than ghost stories round a campfire to them. However, they are never able to defend themselves from their parents, so the PTA beats them. However, with those types they're always trying to protect childs from nasties, and their belief and reaction reinforces the powers of the Cthulu! It's rock, paper, scissors baby. :cool:

[DreamWeaver]

PTA , showing concern for the children, unleash the most powerful evil force in the entire universe...

...Barney the Dinosaur tapes. Cthuloids run screaming as the sheer power of cuteness overwhelms their brains, forcing them to dance, sing and tape fresh episodes of "The Kuddly Ktulu Gang" which was cancelled back in the 70s in favour of HR Pufnstuf. (http://uk.imdb.com/gallery/mptv/1372/Mptv/1372/11704_0013.jpg?path=gallery&path_key=0063907)

Political showdown:

Tony Blair (Lab, Sedgefield)
vs
George Galloway (Bethnal & Bow, Ind)
vs
Harriet Jones (Flydale North, LD)
vs
Frank Castle (Streatham, Official Monster Raving Loony Punisher Party)?

[Lord_Spawnus]

Tony Blair... due to the fact he will go on and on and on and by the end they will all be asleep so he can then kill them :P

now next one..

My Man : SPAWN vs Lord Spawnus *oh dear.. me dead*

[Dead Calm]

Lord Spawnus, as Spawn gets caught up in massive amounts of legal action and gratuatous retconning.

Cheesy Wotsits vs Frazzles vs Hula-Hoops vs Space Raiders vs Monster Munch

[Cass_]

Moster Munch, the Power of the pickled Onion flavor laying low all before it, even the crispyness of frazzels....

Dr. Fate Vs. Numina

[Fury_BoB_Doc]

Numina. they will come to a stale mate over their powers, so numina seduces him them kills him

positron vs captain atom

[Syra]

[ QUOTE ]
positron vs captain atom

[/ QUOTE ]

Positron.

In both endings, Captain Atom would be killed. :p

Beetlejuice vs Freddy Krueger. >_>

[Standoff]

Win for Posi.

If he takes off a bit of armour he can flood Cap with so much radiation he'll do the "time skip" thing. This means he's technically non-existant at the end of the match, which has to count as a loss.

Next: Manticore vs Green Arrow

[Doctor_Nookie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
positron vs captain atom

[/ QUOTE ]

Positron.

In both endings, Captain Atom would be killed. :p

Beetlejuice vs Freddy Krueger. >_>

[/ QUOTE ]

Beetlejuice hands down, simply cos he's the ghost with the most!

And Freddy Krueger's fashion sense is severely lacking.

How about Rodney Dangerfield versus Rodney Trotter?

[Silver_Weasel]

Manticore is British, doesn't look half as camp as Green Arrow and has Swan next to him.

Easy win for the Brit :)

Quake 4 vs Civ 4?

[Irradiator_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Manticore is British, doesn't look half as camp as Green Arrow and has Swan next to him.

Easy win for the Brit :)

Quake 4 vs Civ 4?

[/ QUOTE ]

If it was Quake vs. Civ, then quake FTW, but the ad campaign for Civ 4 is simply superb. Civ 4 is teh weener.

Hum, let me think...

Ash (Evil dead) vs. Dutch (Predator)

[CBeet]

ash ftw!!!1!!111! i mean cmon, heres got a friggin chainsaw for a hand and defeated an army the undead including a clone of himself!

the incredible hulk vs spiderman

[Doulos]

[ QUOTE ]
ash ftw!!!1!!111! i mean cmon, heres got a friggin chainsaw for a hand and defeated an army the undead including a clone of himself!

the incredible hulk vs spiderman

[/ QUOTE ]

match postponed for being a relatively sensible suggestion

Chewbacca, Lando, Han Solo and the wierd dude who copiloted the falcon in Jedi verses the teenage mutant ninja turtles.

[CBeet]

none of em win, they all get into a tight spot and all kill eachother at the same time out of bad timing.

the incredible hulk vs spiderman :p

[Propulsion]

Incredible Hulk. Spidey can only keep dodging Hulk for so long before his energy bottoms out, his shields wear off and HULK SQUISH PUNY BUG-MAN! RARR!! (plus Hulks fury meter would go through the roof, leading to a one-shot)

Christopher Reeve's Superman (RIP) v Dean Cain's Superman v Tom Welling's Superman v Brandon Routh's Superman?

[Fury_BoB_Doc]

[ QUOTE ]
Next: Manticore vs Green Arrow


[/ QUOTE ]
yeah i know this is over and done with, but -

green arrow has any posible type of arrow imaginable, he even has a buzzsaw one!!!

anyway manticore's to high and mighty :p

[Coin]

[ QUOTE ]
Christopher Reeve's Superman (RIP) v Dean Cain's Superman v Tom Welling's Superman v Brandon Routh's Superman?

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmmm

Well, Dean Cain would be too busy crying over his lost career and wondering why Teri hatcher managed to carry on as a success in Desperate Housewives, so he's alredy out of it especially when he sees the immense popularity of the latest young Superman, Tom Welling.

However Welling is too busy drooling over his version of Lana Lang to notice that his mum used ot be the same damn character and then gets mixxed up in a weird Oedipal complex before losing to his arch enemy Lex Luthor who more woman fancy anyway.

This leaves it down to the two Movie Superman, and it's a given that no one can EVER be as good at the role as Christoper Reeves, who's purity and innocence will win any battle :)

Although the new one has cooler colours in his cossie :) ICON FTW! :)

.........

Ok.....haven't read the entire thread yet so, here's mine.

Doctor Who vs Doctor Who vs Doctor Who vs Doctor Who vs Doctor Who vs Doctor Who vs Doctor Who vs Doctor Who vs Doctor Who vs Doctor Who in a massive, across-time Battle Royale :)

[Fury_BoB_Doc]

[ QUOTE ]
Doctor Who vs Doctor Who vs Doctor Who vs Doctor Who vs Doctor Who vs Doctor Who vs Doctor Who vs Doctor Who vs Doctor Who vs Doctor Who in a massive, across-time Battle Royale

[/ QUOTE ]

wouldnt this be impossible because of the tardis' inability to occur in the same time frame as itself, so dr who would ovbiously win and lose

erm............

justice league superman vs justice lords superman(from justice league cartoon)

[Expeditor]

[ QUOTE ]
justice league superman vs justice lords superman(from justice league cartoon)

[/ QUOTE ]

Justice Lords Superman. We've seen time and again that the league Superman just goes toe to toe with anyone with little thought to tactics (see the Death of Superman comic storyline for a classic example), so it'd come down to the League Superman not willing to use lethal force - Lord Superman wins.

Classic Superman vs energy-being Superman

[Silver_Weasel]

Classic would win because as the Energy being's more powerful, it will be tricked into the old "Sucked into the phonelines" trick.

Gizmo vs Elmo vs Orko?

[Tomsk]

Gizmo. Elmo, lacking the cahones to do the buisiness, would take a cue from the Wizard of Oz, and throw water over Gizmo.Stripe and his buddies would, of course, be spawned. Orko would try to magic them away, but they would all then double, and be drawn towards Orko, hacking him into a thin pulp in a comedic fashion. Elmo, traumatised at what he had created, would hit the bottle, dying a lonley death, and leaving Gizmo as the winner.

The Flash vs The Human Torch? Too easy? What if the Human Torch could use his full power freely, without fear of hurting anybody?

[Standoff]

If it's a cold (heh) start, Flash - he dashes in an punches Torch's lights out before Torch can say "Fla...".

If there's time for HT to warm up, initial stalemate - there's no way Torch can surprise or actually hit Flash with any attacks, but as long as he keeps his temperature high enough Flash won't be able to approach close enough to get any blows (or throws) in.

Given time I guess HT runs out of gas, whereas Flash is less prone to - maybe a win for Flash in the longer term too, then.

Next up: House of Flying Daggers vs The Axe Gang (Kung Fu Hustle)

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]

Next up: House of Flying Daggers vs The Axe Gang (Kung Fu Hustle)

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, the Axe Gang are your standard-issue comedy villains, and line-dancing ones at that. But if they're allowed to bring on The Beast as a super-sub... then it's Flying Dagger skill versus the legendary Farting Frog School of Wuhan's devastating power!

*ribbit*...FTW.

MulletMania XVIII...

"Sawyer" (Lost) vs Reno Raines (Renegade) vs McGyver vs Jon Bon Jovi (Young Guns II)

[Smooth_Operator]

Jon Bon Jovi. When he starts singing "Blaze of Glory" everyone else will suffer from acute head explosion.

Belkar (Order of the sticks) vs Ethan (Ctr+Alt+Del)

[Fury_BoB_Doc]

[ QUOTE ]
Classic Superman vs energy-being Superman

[/ QUOTE ]

supertman became a kheldian, i gotta see this :D

[Star_Jewel]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Classic Superman vs energy-being Superman

[/ QUOTE ]

supertman became a kheldian, i gotta see this :D

[/ QUOTE ]

Just spend a few hours around in Atlas Park, there's always a Kheldian Superman flying around somewhere... ;)

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
Jon Bon Jovi. When he starts singing "Blaze of Glory" everyone else will suffer from acute head explosion.

Belkar (Order of the sticks) vs Ethan (Ctr+Alt+Del)

[/ QUOTE ]

Two googlings later...

Ethan, simply by having opposable thumbs and arms that don't snap off. And the best X-box mod ever.

Big Brother special:

Jodie Marsh
vs
Pete Burns
vs
Dennis Rodman
vs
Frank Castle

[CBeet]

[ QUOTE ]
Jon Bon Jovi. When he starts singing "Blaze of Glory" everyone else will suffer from acute head explosion.

Belkar (Order of the sticks) vs Ethan (Ctr+Alt+Del)

[/ QUOTE ]

not too sure about who you are talking about, but ill take a wild stab in the dark judging by their names... belkar wins!

ghost widow and black scorpian vs positron and sister psyche

[Silver_Weasel]

Positron's a Blaster (No matter what the CCG says ;)), so he's down for the count.

Psyche confuses Scorpion so he smacks Ghost Widow, flooring her. Sister Psyche stands victorious until the REAL Ghost Widow phase shifts her hand through her and tears out her heart.

"My dear, you cannot kill a Ghost"

P.S. This is Nothing to do with how scary she looked at Brighton, Honest :)

Yu-Gi-Oh vs Sakura (Cardcaptors) vs Ash Catch'em (Pokemon)?

[Duckdee]

Oooh, Yu-Gi has that inner-bloke thing and fights with holographic monster cards, Sakura has a stick, that bear thing and fights with creatures summoned from cards, Ash fights with easy-access Pokemon.

Pikachu fries holo-progector (not that it would've made a difference), Charizard burns the cards releasing the creatures which leaves Sakura powerless.

Ash wins!



Morph vs Office Paperclip

[Irradiator_EU]

Morph! Sure, the paperclip might stab morph a few times but he's plastercine!

The New Starbuck vs. Bender

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]

The New Starbuck vs. Bender

[/ QUOTE ]

Depends on the location.

In space: Planet Express is going down to the Mk1 Viper, no matter how much Bender can sweet-talk the AI.

On the ground: Bender has arms that can bend metal and handy detachable head. Starbuck doesn't. End of.

O' Zorgnax's: Score draw in drinking contest and embarrassed excuses in the morning. Let's draw a veil over things there...

Tag-team:
Trinity & Morpheus
vs
Trinny & Susannah