who would win in a fight between...

[Lost_samurai_EU]

batman, because hes the godamned batman.

Blade vs Angel vs Buffy vs Van Helsing
A vamp killing contest
enemies courtesy of nosferatu

[Red_Saint]

At the very beginning of the contest, Blade stakes Angel after taking him by surprise. Buffy takes this badly, and proceeds to hammer blade into the ground with her fist.
Blade: Loose.
Angel: Loose.

This leaves Buffy and Van Helsing, who get down to some good ole' vamp slaying action. However, because the buffy vamps are far easier to slay then the Van Helsing vamps, the blonde bombshell quickly takes the lead. Soon enough, Van Helsing gets bored of this and gives up.
Winner: Buffy.

Next match: The main-universe Batman versus Dark Knight Returns Batman Versus Batman- The animated series versus Batman of the future.
"No, I'M the God-damn Batman!"

[Wolfram]

Main-universe Batman is the only one ever to have asserted his Batman-ness over a psychotic mentally-conditioned power-armoured AzBats. This gives him the psychological advantage. DKR Batman is just too damn old to compete and is defeated early by any of the others. BTAS Batman is struck by a giant rocket-powered Christmas tree launched by the Joker. This leaves main-universe Batman vs Batman of the Future, leading to the following conversation:

BotF: "Rraarr! I am a scary Batman of the Future!"
MuB: "But time is linear and you cannot exist since future yet to happen!"
BotF: "Busted!"

-PING!-

Winner: Main Universe Batman.


Next up: Superman vs Yoda

[Wolfram]

OK... looks like I really sucked all the life out of this thread... :o

Everyone just carry on as if I hadn't said anything.
It's for the the best.



::Flees::

[Coin]

Yoda takes an early lead using the force to slow Supes down, but whilst the old Jedi is bouncing around like a dememnted greem bumblebee, Supes turns round with superhuman speed and smacks him upside of his head, sending him flying into a wall, where he lays, crumpled, broken, beaten....

Supes Wins :)

The Karate Kid (Daniel LaRusso) vs The Next Karate Kid (Julie Pearce) vs The Karate Kid (Val Armorr)

[ClockworkGolem]

Batman vs The Shadow

[Coin]

[ QUOTE ]
Batman vs The Shadow

[/ QUOTE ]

Oi, follow the rules, you're supposed to answer mine first :)

[ClockworkGolem]

I'm not familar enough with the Karate Kid(s) to know who'd win. But I suspect they'd all get a valuable life lesson reguardless of the victor.

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm not familar enough with the Karate Kid(s) to know who'd win. But I suspect they'd all get a valuable life lesson reguardless of the victor.

[/ QUOTE ]

Coin: There is a brief, blurred moment of frantic activity... and Ferris Bueller wins. :D

TurnipKing: Batman may have 'l33t ninja skills, but not the Shadow's power to manipulate minds, focus Chi, and become invisible.

So I foresee two possibilities:
- Neither of them can find the other since they're both too good at skulking. No-score draw.

- After cat-and-mousing each other for hours, the Shadow taps into Bruce's mind, reactivates buried memories and sends him on a shoegazing guilt trip of epic proportions. Serves him right for being an emogoth. :D

Our next contenders for a space villain face-off of scenery-chewingly epic proportions...

Khan (Ricardo Montalban, Trek II)
vs
The Operative (Chiwetel Ejiofor, Serenity)
vs
General Karla (Mariangelo Melato, Flash Gordon)
vs
Grand Moff Tarkin (Peter Cushing, Star Wars)

[Silver_Weasel]

Whilst I in no way denigrate DW's post, perhaps something else until someone wants to write an epic battle.

How about Hulk vs Sauron?

[Myopic Aardvark]

[ QUOTE ]
Whilst I in no way denigrate DW's post, perhaps something else until someone wants to write an epic battle.

How about Hulk vs Sauron?

[/ QUOTE ]

Hulk Hogan or The Incredible Hulk?

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Hulk Hogan or The Incredible Hulk?

[/ QUOTE ]

I vote for the Hogan variety. It'd lead to better speeches.

"Well, brother, let me tell you, brother, that the brother Sauron's mighty mad that a brother has the brother's ring, brother. Oh, brother."

versus "Hulk smash Tower Eye!"

[Myopic Aardvark]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Hulk Hogan or The Incredible Hulk?

[/ QUOTE ]

I vote for the Hogan variety. It'd lead to better speeches.

"Well, brother, let me tell you, brother, that the brother Sauron's mighty mad that a brother has the brother's ring, brother. Oh, brother."

versus "Hulk smash Tower Eye!"

[/ QUOTE ]

And, undoubtedly, the Hogan one would make a better movie...

[Red_Saint]

In either case, the Hulk wins. I mean, let's be frank, all you really need to do to beat Sauron is poke him in the eye.

Let's see him be evil and vile while he's all red and watery!

Laurel versus Hardy.

[The_Braain]

Well Laurels a little pansy. So the big man wins.

Here's one...a guy with a baseball bat .v.s. a guy with a cricket bat

[Myopic Aardvark]

The guy with the cricket bat. The person wielding the baseball bat may be an American, but he can't cope with the wit, determination and natural understanding of sarcasm that the British cricket bat wielder will.

A City of Heroes n00b versus a World of Warcraft n00b - both sides can call a newbie to use as ammunition if needs be.

[Lord_Qel_Thyr]

[ QUOTE ]
The guy with the cricket bat. The person wielding the baseball bat may be an American, but he can't cope with the wit, determination and natural understanding of sarcasm that the British cricket bat wielder will.

A City of Heroes n00b versus a World of Warcraft n00b - both sides can call a newbie to use as ammunition if needs be.

[/ QUOTE ]

Given i've recently read a WoW PvP duel fight, in which the higher level mage that was fighting my brother had a hunter calling his position, I would say the remainder of the gaming community, as 2 n00bs would be giving off enough profanity to swamp prime time USA tv, and would both be removed from MMORPGs, therefore making the world a better place :D

Free round next time, someone pick something.

[DreamWeaver]

I shall be not disheartened that my epic battle was scorned.

Khan (http://www.khaaan.com)
vs
Captain Jean-Luc Picard

Let's see what baldie would have made of this...

[Coin]

EVOLUTION RADIO ROYAL RUMBLE!!

DJ Angel vs DJ Fatman vs DJ Dawnrazor vs DJ Fire Guardian vs DJ Proximity vs DJ Spawnus vs DJ Xanthus vs DJ Raz vs Dj Judge Dreaded.

All out musical battle!!

(I'm sure I've missed someone in this list though. If I have, someone add them in :) )

[Red_Saint]

Whichever one retrieves their earmuffs first. THat way, they can play any Cure album ever and cause every other DJ to commit suicide from sheer angst.

God V Jesus.

[Coin]

[ QUOTE ]
Khan (http://www.khaaan.com)
vs
Captain Jean-Luc Picard

[/ QUOTE ]

Well.....as a card carrying Trekkie I gotta go with this one :)

It would naturally come down to a true and epic battle of quotes, first up, the over-acting, scenery-chewing, ever-lovable, Kahn wanders in with....

"He tasks me! He tasks me! And I shall have him. I'll chase him round the moons of Nibia and round the Antares malestrom and round perdition's flames before I give him up!"

To which the magnificent balding one would respond with something from the great bard, such as...

"What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! how infinite in faculties! in form and moving, how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension, how like a god!"

Kahn staggers back in the face of such deliverance and rallys, spewing forth...

"I've done far worse than kill you, Admiral. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her: marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet, buried alive. Buried alive."

Picard instantly leaps up and lets loose with....

"Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em."

Stunned, Kahn starts to panic and can only reply with a line from another great evil villain...

"The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it."

This shocks Picard to his core and forces him to let loose with a barrage of magnificence from a differnt but great american hero...

"seven minutes ago... we, your forefathers, were brought forth upon a most excellent adventure conceived by our new friends, Bill... and Ted. These two great gentlemen are dedicated to proposition which was true in my time, just as it's true today. Be excellent to each other. And... PARTY ON, DUDES!"

Kahn is battered and beaten and can only respond with...

"I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for you meddling kids!!"

before falling to his knees and being unmasked as the guy from Fantasy Island in disguise!

Picard walks off, heading into the distance, muttering about evolution.....smiling.

[Coin]

[ QUOTE ]
God V Jesus.

[/ QUOTE ]

Jesus starts off by complaining about how his Dad never lets him do anything cool, he was only messing with Earth, he never meant to break it, it was like that when he found it and why does he have to clean it up!! God, you're SO UNFAIR!!

God then sends Jesus to his room and ground him for all eternity.


Next round...

Bambi vs Oliver the Dragon vs Simba vs Tramp vs Mushu the Dragon vs Stitch (with as many guest appearances from Disney as you can fit in!)

Hows that for an epic? :)

[davidg_EU]

Bambi vs Oliver the Dragon vs Simba vs Tramp vs Mushu the Dragon vs Stitch (with as many guest appearances from Disney as you can fit in!)

--How to spoil an epic battle--

Maximillian wins,Fatality!

All thanks to his choppy hands of dooooom, and the controling mind of a genius (see end of "the Black hole" to understand).

[Duckdee]

Coin, just how?

[Coin]

How what? :P

[Lost_samurai_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
How what? :P

[/ QUOTE ]

cant argue with that logic. next fight please, and honestly stich woulda owned all the others. think SS/inv brute versus a few rikti monkeys

[Coin]

Pretty much what I was thinking, matey, although Maximillion was a great shock winner :)

Anyway....next battle....

How about a creative forum battle?.......

GillBates vs Lush!

Partners in life and business.....but who would win in battle???!?

I think we can probably guess the answer anyway :)

[Coin]

Ok....fine...no one wants to do this one.....probably all afraid of the power of the combatants...Lush wins anyway, the woman always does in any relationship :)

How about....

Cokeman vs Pepsiman vs VirginColaman vs Pandapopsman........vs Duff Man!! OH Yeah!!

[Moondog]

[ QUOTE ]

How about....

Cokeman vs Pepsiman vs VirginColaman vs Pandapopsman........vs Duff Man!! OH Yeah!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh this is easy, Duffman wins because, as the man himself says "Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him. Ooh yeah!"

Right, next Tom Cruise vs. Mel Gibson, which holy man is the holiest, or craziest (take your pick)?

[Sayia]

Mel Gibson easy he is Mad Max


Splinter ( The Warrior Rat) Vs. Pinky and the Brain

[Tac_Ops_Wolf]

{inky is jsut too stupid to help out brain, pniky sits in the sorner picking his nose.

brain tries to think splinter to death.

Splinter has mind training so it doesn't work.

Splinter whacks him over and over with his stick until brain finally admits defeat.

Pinky eats pork pies!


next fight : PIE! vs CAKE!

[Animal_Mutha_EU]

Pie has a higher nutritional value than Cake, goes great with chips and Pasties are a variety of Pie.

Pie has it!

Animal Mutha vrs. Everyone Else. (http://uk.boards.cityofheroes.com/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=646242&an=0&page=0#Post6 46242)

[Myopic Aardvark]

Bridger - when he finally locks the thread because we're going round in circles now.

The month of September vs The month of June

[Animal_Mutha_EU]

Definately June as its my birthday month but September to be fair, does often have nicer weather.

[Cass_]

pah, October would pwn them both.

[DreamWeaver]

Since nobody's set a thread, it's time for Battle Of The Storm Controllers...

Becky "The Bruiser" Mantin (http://www.geocities.com/cbbeckymantin/becky_itv_110105_002.jpg)

vs

Martyn "I Am NOT Spock" Davies (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:ITVMartynDavies.jpg)

vs

Ian "Combat Hamster" McCaskill (http://www.in-focus.co.uk/ent_thumb/e52g21.jpg)

vs

Michael "What Hurricane?" Fish (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:BBCmichaelfish.jpg)

[Animal_Mutha_EU]

Becky "The Bewbies" Mantin. No contest. Although Michael Fish has a very comely glint in his eye.

"Breast is best" is an aphorism for good reason.

Ok, how about:

Rainbow (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozDkNsfzYmI) vrs. Playaway

[Sayia]

Rainbow they have Zippy ;)


Krypto The Super Dog Vs. Ace Wayne (Bats' Dog)

[Coin]

Tis a battle of epic proportions, with both dogs using their powers and skillz to beat the other.......until they both lose interest and go off to chase Supergirl's cat, Streaky.

Comedy tag team spectacular....

Frasier and Niles (from Frasier) vs Chandler and Joey (from Friends) vs Karen and Jack (from Will and Grace) vs Dreamweaver and Fire Guardian (do I really need to say where from?) :)

Go on then, I want a comedy spectacular!.....and for the record, my money is on Frasier and Niles :p

[Lost_samurai_EU]

FG busts out the mic and sings the other into submission, fraiser and niles drop almost instantly, chandler moans for a bit before giving in and running, karen and jack meanwhile are owned by the only bus in paragon that is then sentenced to the scrapheap for assualt, all down cept joey who had decided to stop in at a deli. FG and dreamweaver win by default but joey gets the sandwich.

hybrid show down

a skull on superadine vs a hellion with magical tatoos vs a clockwork with nemesis tech vs a council with cybernetics vs a cadaver with magic sigils vs a contaminated with rikti rifles.

[Sayia]

It's a long drawn out match but eventualy a CoT comes past and wins by default with knockbacks. :p

Who would win . . . . .


Scooby Doo Vs Darth Vader

[Wamdue_EU]

Easy, Scooby-Doo unmasks Vader and reveals he's the frail old man from the local fun fair.


EU servers vs US servers

[Myopic Aardvark]

Well, the US Servers all get caught up in deciding which of their number is going to challenge the US, before Freedom squashes the rest with their combined numbers and "Only Americans can be heroes" rubbish (actual quote heard on Freedom a couple of years ago).

They take a couple of steps over the Atlantic and throw down a mighty challenge to the EU Servers. The French and Germans ignore Freedom because they're American and the two English speaking servers make random snide comments about proper English before also ignoring the US.

Due to the lack of attention, Freedom withers away to nothing. Funnily enough, no one cares, but George Dubya nukes France because "it must have been their fault".

Next up.

John Boy Walton versus Will Robinson.

[Myopic Aardvark]

That should be the US challenging us by the way.

Sheesh.

[CBeet]

Will Robinson would win due to shorter name-ness (and I don't know who they are)

Dexter boy genius versus Forge from X-men in a technological battle.

[Lost_samurai_EU]

forge, dexter see's psylocke and passes out.

meh....

the lost connection to mapserver issue versus grandville lag

[Sayia]

Easy one that.

Evil Lord Map Server just freezes everything. And makes them disconnect thus equaling him the winner ;)


Thor Vs. Iron Man

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Easy one that.

Evil Lord Map Server just freezes everything. And makes them disconnect thus equaling him the winner ;)


Thor Vs. Iron Man

[/ QUOTE ]

Iron Man wins. His outfit may chafe, but the Thunder G-d's costume makes him very Thor.

...And now, back to your normal programming.

[Cass_]

thats puntacular...



and so awesome.

[Arctic_Princess]

Apologies that this features no simulated violence, but I would just like to point at Dreamweaver's URL and applaud loudly!

Huzzah!

***

Actually, seeing as FG didn't set down the terms of battle I would like to be cheeky and suggest this:

The Brady Bunch Vs. Married, With Children

[KeeperOfSorrows]

[ QUOTE ]
The Brady Bunch Vs. Married, With Children

[/ QUOTE ]

Going by recent shows on British television seemingly pandering to the chav-like culture, I'm guessing Married, With Children would probably find a wider audience that the Brady Bunch. Besides, even Ned Flanders laughed at Married With Children once!

Okay, seeing as there's likely to be cries of thread necromancy, lets see who can knock their opponents deader than dead in a shamble-down between: -

Dirge - From Xombie (http://www.xombified.com/)
vs
The Evil Dead zombies
vs
The Night of the Living Dead Zombies
vs
The Banished Pantheon husks
vs
The Vahzilok's Cadavers
vs
Mutant Enemy's mascot from the end of their productions (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mutant_Enemy_Productions#Logo)

[Vox_Doom]

Night of the Living Dead Zombies, they never lose.

Dominik Diamond vs Dexter Fletcher.

[Silver_Weasel]

[ QUOTE ]
Night of the Living Dead Zombies, they never lose.

Dominik Diamond vs Dexter Fletcher.

[/ QUOTE ]

What fight? DF would get lynched long before he got to the ring.

Snail Mail vs Email vs SMS vs MSN in a Ladder Match?

[Red_Saint]

Snail Mail- it'd just destroy the servers through which the internet runs, thus killing the competition.

"Batman Begins" Batman versus "Batman Returns" Batman, both in their respective Batmobiles.

[Sprawler]

Batman begins batman simply crushes the other one while Robin says stupid remarks like "Holy giant black tank batman he's crushing us!". Returns Batman karate chops Robin thus saving the world but is then crushed.

Returns wins.

On a lighter note...
The Young Ones vs. The Scooby Doo gang.

[Altec_EU]

Hmm we talking the Adrian Edmonson/Rik Mayall young ones or something else well :eek: If it is who im thinking of its got to be the young ones, you said gang not sure if your including Scrappy Doo but if you did, it just nuked the scoobies before the fight even started :)

Captain Scarlet (old school) Vs Captain America ;)

[Acenra]

captain america. he'd just throw his shield and cut off the strings, rendering scarlet helpless.

The Mask vs. Freakazoid

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]

The Mask vs. Freakazoid

[/ QUOTE ]

Neither - after months trying to destroy each other and causing the insanity rate of Bay City to soar by 5000%, they realise they're actually quite similar, move to San Francisco and set up an Internet startup business selling exploding cupcakes. Or something.

Buffy Scooby Gang
vs
Original Scooby Gang

[Lost_samurai_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

The Mask vs. Freakazoid

[/ QUOTE ]

Neither - after months trying to destroy each other and causing the insanity rate of Bay City to soar by 5000%, they realise they're actually quite similar, move to San Francisco and set up an Internet startup business selling exploding cupcakes. Or something.

Buffy Scooby Gang
vs
Original Scooby Gang

[/ QUOTE ]

The original scoobies did well against a guy in a mask, but movies aside they don't stand a chance against the real kind of demons Buffys group are up agaisnt everyday and would likely not even show up for a fight. If they did it all depends if spike or angel is with em as that would be an instant win for buffies group, otherwise they probably wouldn't fight each other.

Also for the freakazoid mask one try this (http://www.electricferret.com/fights/clowns.htm)

Ghost of scrapyard VS Ghost Widow

[Silver_Weasel]

[ QUOTE ]

Ghost of scrapyard VS Ghost Widow

[/ QUOTE ]

GW of course, she's not stupid enough to run into drones.

Pizza Vs. Curry Vs. Chips? Both Salt and Vinegar are banned from ringside.

[Catz_]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Ghost of scrapyard VS Ghost Widow

[/ QUOTE ]

GW of course, she's not stupid enough to run into drones.

Pizza Vs. Curry Vs. Chips? Both Salt and Vinegar are banned from ringside.

[/ QUOTE ]

Pizza Duh, Pizza is just yummmmm! :D

Dog vs Cat (The Ultimate battle!!!)

[Lost_samurai_EU]

Based on experience Cat
a) more cat type heroes/viullains
b) My pet kitten called Nina was chasing a dog bout 5 times her size the other day
c) that dog is cowering in the neighbours yard and she is staring at it currently
d) she's a stalker and will AS me if i differ form these points

Praetorians VS Primals

*takes a shot*
*gets shot*

[Lord Mayhem]

[ QUOTE ]
Praetorians VS Primals

[/ QUOTE ]
Primals as in Primal Earth's Praetorian equivalents, i.e. our Freedom Phalanx and Vindicators? If you mean that then Tyrant's crew would probably lose because they wouldn't work together as well as Statesman's SG. But if they were one-on-one fights then I'd back Tyrant's Praetorians.

I guess it also depends whether a) Manticore is going to shoot one of his own team as part of some ridiculously bogus plan (like in the comics), or b) Blue Steel is going to turn up and save the Phalanx in some deus ex machina moment just as all looks lost (like he always seems to do in CoV mission text).

You probably didn't mean those Primals at all did you? The only other Primals I could think of were Transformers :p

For the next one: Tyrant vs Reichsman

(I was tempted to have Statesman or Recluse in there, but no, lets just have two completely evil Incarnate psychos going at each other ;) )

[Red_Saint]

Hmm... this one is a hard one.

Okay, let's start by setting the scene; another alternate Paragon city, completely empty and filled with eery fog. Food is still warm on the tables of diners. Hellion rituals lie half-finished.

Reichsman surveys the digusting city, the evidence of non-aryan corruption everywhere. Tyrant sees a world ripe for the taking, but corrupted by the filth of weakness.

They find each other in Atlas Park, beneath the statue of Atlas. They eye each other. Niether attempts to communicate; they see only rivals.

Tension builds. Reichsman's eyes narrow. Tyrant smiles slightly.

The mist clears, ever so slightly. In perfect unison, they fly at eac other, punching and kicking. The city is destroyed in horrifying speed, and the two show no sign of letting up; Reichsman throws Tryant with all his might out over the sea.

Tyrant slows himself down, still reeling from the shock of Riechsman's attack. He looks around, finding himself on the bubbing mouth of the Terra Volta volcano. In the distance, Reichsman hurtles towards him.


Tyrant digs his feet into the rock.

Reichsman speeds up.

Tyrant leans forward.

Reichsman thrusts a fist out ahead of him.


They colide.Tyrant's stance stops Reichsman's assault, but the damage done to the volcano is horrific. The lava bubbles up around them, but still they fight.

Hours pass. The volcano is burning in its own heat, and the two superhumans continue to fight, but they are weary...

The flames burst up around Reichsman's boots. Tyrant's helmet plate melts across his face.

Slowly, they break off. THhy need to rest, to escape the heat of the earth's fury, but they are too tired.

Slowly, the two dark gods of wrath sink down into the depths of the earth.

Draw.

Next fight? Something fun...

Apollo (Authority) vesus Midnighter (Authority).

[Sayia]

Appolo Rocks. So Appolo would win.


Who would win in a fight, The Thunder Cats Gang (There names Elude me been ages) Vs Hea Man And The Masters Of The Universe!


I'd imagine that would be cool.

[Myopic Aardvark]

Neither - they would both have a climatic battle where Lion-O and He-Man cross swords, until approximately 20 minutes in when they would stop fighting, turn to the camera and give the moral of the day speech.


Next up. Darth Vader (the original, non whiny version), vs Barry "Cilit Bang" Scott!

[Sayia]

'Tis a battle of epic proportions, One side Mr Darth Vader the other Mr Barry "Shout Alot" Scott. Whilst Darth is using the force coupled with his light sabre skills. Barry lets out his almight whail of noise, but this plan does not work, as Darth just turns the volume down on his life saver thingy, and says "This Is The Power Of The Darkside!!", Barry does try to spray him with the cillit bang shouting "Look how it cleans this penny", but Darth laughs, and Decapitates him :p


Next Up


Spock Vs Data

[CBeet]

Data.. Dunno why but he would :p

Jack war! Jack Spicer vs Jack Sparrow vs Jack Skellington vs Samurai Jack

[DreamWeaver]

Just as the fight is about to commence, a burned and bleeding hand pushes up a grate in the floor - followed by a gun. Four shots are fired.

As the other contenders collapse in pain holding their bleeding knees, their unseen assailant pushes a terrified, tortured and bleeding Hobbit through strapped to a nerve gas bomb. Something is muttered about patrotic sacrifice, then the grate closes as the first hiss of gas is heard...

Jack Bauer wins. Dammit.

Dynamic detective duo frenzy:

Green Hornet & Kato (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncZx-16SDmw)
vs
Green Batman & Robin (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncZx-16SDmw)
vs
Supt. Quilt and Sgt. Brown (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBiVe__-Vik)
vs
Morse & Lewis

(PS: is this the Thread That Would Not Die or something?)