who would win in a fight between...

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]

Big Brother special:

Jodie Marsh
vs
Pete Burns
vs
Dennis Rodman
vs
Frank Castle

[/ QUOTE ]

Irrelevant. Michael Barrymore would use his Prestige "Drown" powers.

[SouthernCarl99]

ooooooo fire gaurdian lol

carl

[Coin]

[ QUOTE ]
Tag-team:
Trinity & Morpheus
vs
Trinny & Susannah

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL, hmmmm

Well, much as I admire the scathing wit of Trinny and Susannah, Morpheus and Trinity would win this due to a. kick [censored] kung fu moves and b. They already way too stylish for Trinny and Susannah :)

Ok, how about a Jim Carrey special?

The Mask vs Ace Ventura vs Bruce Almighty vs Truman Burbank vs Count Olaf vs The Grinch vs Lloyd Christmas vs Cable Guy?

Ok, come on then, who's brave enough to describe this epic battle :)

[Tomsk]

Well, Bruce has the powers of the big G, so he could just smite them all with a round of tidal waves, parting their blood, and enlarging their breasts until they explode.

Bruce almighty by a knockout.

The Olsen Twins fight to the death with shards of broken glass? (What can i say, i'm twisted.)

[Silver_Weasel]

Well, despite it being a pane( :) ), neither twin would be able to pick up the heavy shards of glass due to their two-dimensional figures.

No score draw.

Next up

SOE (For The SW:G 'patch') vs.
Clive 'C5' Sinclair vs.
Gerald Ratner(Admitted his products were dung) vs.
George Lucas(HAN FIRED FIRST DAMMIT!) vs.
TROMA(A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell) vs.
Ed Wood(Plan 9 from Outer Space) vs.
Uwe Bolls(House of the Dead, Dungeon Siege Movies)
in a gigantic "Who can make the biggest turkey" fight?

[Irradiator_EU]

Thanks Silver_Weasel, my head asplode :confused:

[Coin]

Lucas, not even a question about it!!!

Come on, who else has the sort of power to alienate so many of his fans who had been devoted for over 20 years!

So, Lucas wins that by a landslide victory :)

ok.......

Battle of the Cyborgs :)

Terminator vs Robocop vs Seven of Nine vs Steve Austin vs Cyborg (Teen titans.....BOOYEAH!)

[Silver_Weasel]

Steve Austin gets the smackdown laid on him by Stone Cold.
Robocop eats babyfood.
Terminator becomes a Governor,
Seven of Nine smiles at Cyborg and he grants her a win by default.

Comedy Duo Royale

Laurel & Hardy vs
Vic & Bob vs
The Two Ronnies vs
Morecambe & Wise

The Chuckle Brothers are routinely executed. No real reason; just coz they deserve it.

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]

The Chuckle Brothers are routinely executed. No real reason; just coz they deserve it.

[/ QUOTE ]

*rapturous applause*

Vic and Bob are the early casualties, as their attack chain consists entirely of flinging Caramacs covered in filth - FILTH, DO YOU HEAR ME? (Minor damage, 10% chance of Mild Puzzlement).

Morecambe and Wise's Elude-based dancing skills are no match for the cunningly disguised Ronnies, whose focused laser eye beams and Corbett's Sonic Sleep power (using Chair Enhancements) rip them to pithy shreds.

Then it's all go as L&H's brutal physical comedy seems to have the edge, until Ronnies unleash the Phantom Raspberry Blower attack, shredding the old-school's defenses.

Victory to the Ronnies, until promptly struck down by Eddie Izzard and his Assassin's Jam. Obviously.

James Bond (Sean Connery)
vs
James Bond (Roger Moore)
vs
James Bond (Timothy Dalton)
vs
James Bond (Pierce Brosnan)
vs
James Bond (Daniel Craig)
vs
Sir James Bond (David Niven)
vs
James Bond (Peter Sellers)
vs
Little Jimmy Bond (Woody Allen)

Richard Kiel and Herve Villechaise banned from ringside.

(PS: Ronnie Barker - genius and genuine nice man. RIP).

[aphex_twin_EU]

Ok Sean Connery wins,.....no explanation needed!


Alterd beast Vs. Golden Axe

[Fury_BoB_Doc]

altred beast?
link me to an image please.

besides anyone with an axe is good in my book =P

erm.....................Pyra (fire/fire blaster) Vs Phoenix?

[Miss_Marvellous]

[ QUOTE ]
altred beast?
link me to an image please.

besides anyone with an axe is good in my book =P

erm.....................Pyra (fire/fire blaster) Vs Phoenix?

[/ QUOTE ]

ERR Phonix as it will always rise from the flames!!

Me Vs Myself Vs Irene :D

Work that one out peeps!! :p

[_Max_]

Well...seeing as Me & Myself are in fact pseudonyms for Jim Carrey...I say Evil Jim knocks out Nice Jim, starts making the moves on Irene, who subsequently knees him in a very tender area, and hence wins the fight.

> Cloud vs Tifa vs Vincent vs Yuffie vs Sephiroth in a FF7/Ergheiz battle royale.

[Silver_Weasel]

Yuffie wins because she's a Japanese Schoolgirl in a manga game. Doesn't matter what she's up against.

Just watch out for those Tentacles (http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/hentai.htm)

This is how the fight may go though... (http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/ff7.htm)

Brian Blessed vs. Black Bolt (Inhumans) in a shouting contest?

[Standoff]

Has to be Brian - Black Bolt may be loud, but the Blessed one is the original and unbeatable Mr Shouty.

Besides, Blessed actually uses his shouts all the time, unlike Bolt who just stands around all silent and mopey, and that has to count in his favour.

Final point in Blessed's favour - he's the template for Neil Gaiman's Destruction archetype, and as such can kick bottom on anyone he damn well pleases!

Next: Hugh's the winner in a battle between Bertie Wooster and Dr. Gregory House?

[Silver_Weasel]

Wooster :"Jeeves, would you give this ruffian a quick punch on the hooter."

General Melchett "Mehhh!"

Wooster : "Jeeves, you fool, you've come as the wrong character."

Dr. House : "That's a pity, so have I."
*changes into Doctor Lawyer*

Dr. Lawyer "Now, seeing as you're both obviously suffering from from Split Personality, perhaps I can interest you in a brief time in my mental chamber."

Jeeves, as Prince George, "No! I am as sane as the river in Denmark, aren't I Black Adder?"

Black Adder : "I think you'll find that that PARticular river is in France sir, now if you would just allow me to remove the good Doctor's mask..."

*pulls of Doctor's mask to reveal Jasper from the 101 Dalmatians, who runs away*

Jeeves : "Inconceivable, Black Adder!"

Black Adder : "No sir, that would be Ben Elton."

Winner : A very eclectic and utterly moist Hugh.

Next : Stretch Armstrong vs. Mr Fantastic vs. Plastic Man vs. Dhalsim.

(And no, the answer's not "their wives" :))

[CBeet]

well stretch armstrong would tear open the first time he tries to punch anybody. dhalsim would take out plastic man with a couple of kicks, then mr fantastic would cover dhalsim with his body and dhalism would die of suffication (sp?)

mr fantastic wins, and if ive done anything wrong (ive never heard of dhalism so know nothing about him)

next fight.

all of the robots of robot wars vs the cylons

let the wars begin!

[DreamWeaver]

Cylons - by the simple dint of sending Six into the pits before the match, scattering the geeks in terror at the sight of actual real woman. Walkover.

Bond villains:

Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale, Moonraker)
vs
Scaramanga (Christopher Lee, Golden Gun)
vs
Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Donald Pleasance, You Only Live Twice)
vs
Auric Goldfinger (Gert Frobe, Goldfinger)
vs
Max Zorin (Christopher "Damn Scary Even In This Sh*t" Walken, View To A Kill)
vs
Carl Stromberg (Curt Jurgens, Spy Who Loved Me)
vs
Elliot Carver (Jonathan "Scary? Moi?" Price, Tomorrow Never Dies)

Richard Kiel and Herve Villechaize STILL banned from ringside :)

[Coin]

[ QUOTE ]
Wooster :"Jeeves, would you give this ruffian a quick punch on the hooter."

General Melchett "Mehhh!"

Wooster : "Jeeves, you fool, you've come as the wrong character."

Dr. House : "That's a pity, so have I."
*changes into Doctor Lawyer*

Dr. Lawyer "Now, seeing as you're both obviously suffering from from Split Personality, perhaps I can interest you in a brief time in my mental chamber."

Jeeves, as Prince George, "No! I am as sane as the river in Denmark, aren't I Black Adder?"

Black Adder : "I think you'll find that that PARticular river is in France sir, now if you would just allow me to remove the good Doctor's mask..."

*pulls of Doctor's mask to reveal Jasper from the 101 Dalmatians, who runs away*

Jeeves : "Inconceivable, Black Adder!"

Black Adder : "No sir, that would be Ben Elton."

Winner : A very eclectic and utterly moist Hugh.

Next : Stretch Armstrong vs. Mr Fantastic vs. Plastic Man vs. Dhalsim.

(And no, the answer's not "their wives" :))

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL, sorry to interrupt this, but damn that's the funniest answer in this thread yet :)

[Coin]

[ QUOTE ]
Cylons - by the simple dint of sending Six into the pits before the match, scattering the geeks in terror at the sight of actual real woman. Walkover.

Bond villains:

Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale, Moonraker)
vs
Scaramanga (Christopher Lee, Golden Gun)
vs
Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Donald Pleasance, You Only Live Twice)
vs
Auric Goldfinger (Gert Frobe, Goldfinger)
vs
Max Zorin (Christopher "Damn Scary Even In This Sh*t" Walken, View To A Kill)
vs
Carl Stromberg (Curt Jurgens, Spy Who Loved Me)
vs
Elliot Carver (Jonathan "Scary? Moi?" Price, Tomorrow Never Dies)

Richard Kiel and Herve Villechaize STILL banned from ringside :)

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmmm, I would go for Blofeld, simply cos he was the inspiration for the greatest bad guy of them all.....Dr Evil :)

Although with those teeth, Jaws might give him a run for his money by eating Blofelds cat :)


Ok........Dreamweaver vs Plight Trawler, the ultime husband and wife battle :) :) :)

[Silver_Weasel]

[ QUOTE ]

LOL, sorry to interrupt this, but damn that's the funniest answer in this thread yet :)

[/ QUOTE ]

I thank yew :)

[Silver_Weasel]

[ QUOTE ]

Ok........Dreamweaver vs Plight Trawler, the ultime husband and wife battle :) :) :)

[/ QUOTE ]

Plight pwns Dream until she uses Tears (3 slotted for Sympathy); and then when he drops his defences...WHAM!

Dreamweaver by a dirty trick :)

Have to ask, Stasis vs. Silver Weasel ;)

[CBeet]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Ok........Dreamweaver vs Plight Trawler, the ultime husband and wife battle :) :) :)

[/ QUOTE ]

Plight pwns Dream until she uses Tears (3 slotted for Sympathy); and then when he drops his defences...WHAM!

Dreamweaver by a dirty trick :)

Have to ask, Stasis vs. Silver Weasel ;)

[/ QUOTE ]

OH MY GOD! ITS SILVER WEASEL WITH THE CHAIR TO THE HEAD!!!11111!!11!!!!! AND A LOW BLOW FROM PLIGHT!!! SILVER IS ON THE GROUND! 1.. 2.. OH NO WHATS THIS! SILVER WEASEL JUST PULLED OUT THE PICTURE OF SPORK FROM THAT THREAD ON GD AND PLIGHTS HEAD HAS EXPLODED! SILVER WEASEL WINS!

yah.. in that case..

tainted greek vs the question in a discussion about something which is off topic to the thread they are talking on, and they both have completely different thoughts about the subject.

edit: or if you prefer, me vs kid hellfire in a suicide showdown.

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]


Dreamweaver by a dirty trick :)



[/ QUOTE ]

No soup for you, one year. :mad:

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


Dreamweaver by a dirty trick :)



[/ QUOTE ]

No soup for you, one year. :mad:

[/ QUOTE ]

Plus I respecced out Tears a long, long time ago.

I would have used...

SARCASM.

Possibly with a couple of Righteous Rage insps. But Sarcasm FTW every time.

[Silver_Weasel]

Slightly bemused at fighting Plight instead of Stase, but NM.

hi there this is yur old freind Tainted greek here zomg! i cant believe some1 has said that i donot talk about the question on that topic as i was just beating everyone in pvp and then got called a noob by teh person that i beat and he was saying that it not ok to fight duel and I tell him lol you duel me then and he say no coz you noob. so i always keeps to the op Even when they are not talking about what i do.

Apologies to TG, but he wins ;)

Gandalf vs Elminster?

[cloudjlionheart]

Gandalf all the Way, Sir Ian will just out act him to death :P

Lex Luthor vs Norman Osborn

[Everclear]

Norman osbor as the goblin, although lexx has the more contacts and access to more toys.

Nightcrawler vs Spiderman?

[_Chi_]

Oooh tricky....

If it was in a comic book, NC would whoop Spideys [censored] first time, but get PWNED the second time...

In the real world, Night would win quite easily... TP TP TPTP TP TP TP H4X0R3D!!!!!!

The 8 legged weirdo would be two 4 legged weirdos with one slash.

ok...

Jerry Springer vs Trisha Goddard :p

[DreamWeaver]

Altogether now.... JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

Yes, folks, the British Bruiser is no match for the Cincinnati Cruiser - as the famous Lasso of Lie Detection is no match for Springer's Mastermind Thug L32 pet (go Steve!)

Captain Jack Sparrow (POTCaribbean)
vs
Chris The Ninja Pirate (Weebls Stuff)

[BindW]

[ QUOTE ]
Altogether now.... JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

Yes, folks, the British Bruiser is no match for the Cincinnati Cruiser - as the famous Lasso of Lie Detection is no match for Springer's Mastermind Thug L32 pet (go Steve!)

Captain Jack Sparrow (POTCaribbean)
vs
Chris The Ninja Pirate (Weebls Stuff)

[/ QUOTE ]ahhh its good to have reactiveated my account :)

as for the fight between myself and dreamer, she would defo win with a 6 slotted sympathy crying manoeuvre, and it wasnt effected by ED specificaly because its supposed to be overpowered!

and i think weasels impersonation of greek was hilarious, possibly his best post yet!!1one

i are teh back1

Plight

[Expeditor]

[ QUOTE ]
Captain Jack Sparrow (POTCaribbean)
vs
Chris The Ninja Pirate (Weebls Stuff)

[/ QUOTE ]

Well it's got to be Captain Jack hasn't it?

We'll try for Lord Recluse (CoX) vs Man-Spider (Spiderman) vs Tarantulos (Beast Wars) (in a fight, in a maniacal laugh contest Tarantulos wins hands down ;) )

[CBeet]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Captain Jack Sparrow (POTCaribbean)
vs
Chris The Ninja Pirate (Weebls Stuff)

[/ QUOTE ]

Well it's got to be Captain Jack hasn't it?

We'll try for Lord Recluse (CoX) vs Man-Spider (Spiderman) vs Tarantulos (Beast Wars) (in a fight, in a maniacal laugh contest Tarantulos wins hands down ;) )

[/ QUOTE ]

oo a hard one.. tarantulos has the ranged attacks.. recluse has the rather powerful melee attacks and man-spider has moderate melee and range attacks.. i like beast wars but i would have to say.. erm.. lord recluse i think? or and tarantulos would win hands down in a maniacal laughing contest

man-spider vs man-bat

[Silver_Weasel]

The can of RAID wins :)

MOJO JOJO(Powerpuff Girls) vs. Gorilla Grodd(DC) vs. Uggie Apelino(2000 AD)?

[DreamWeaver]

"That's all just well enough, because in reality there is only room enough in this world for one villainous monkey. One shall be the number of villainous monkeys in the world, and the number of villainous monkey in the world shall be one. Two villainous monkeys is too many, and three is right out. So the only villainous monkey there is room for in the world shall be me."

...meanwhile, Uggie's quietly finished off her rival and is about to drop a safe on the burbling buffoonish baboon.

First rule of Proper Villainy: No monologuing. Ever.

For our next contenders:


The Warriors (Coney Island branch, film version)
vs
The Warriors (Talos Island branch, CoH)

[CBeet]

well the warriors from the film would win coz the warriors from CoH in talos are wimps to say the least :)

the incredible hulk vs juggernaut in an arm wrestling match.

[cloudjlionheart]

Old Juggy boy is going down, and quite quickly as Hulks rage build to astronomical levels after hearing Vinni-naught's thug-like taunts. "You think ur ard' green man, Ill show you ard' when youve got the guts to hold another mans balls on a football pitch then you can tell me about ard' you plonker." Hulks rage over-comes him more and not only does he win the arm-wrestling contest, he launches Vinni-naught to the moon.

Next fight
The Darkness (Top Cow)
vs
The Darkness (High pitched joke-rock band)

[CBeet]

the darkness wins! :p

judge dredd vs judge john deed.

[Miss_Marvellous]

[ QUOTE ]
the darkness wins! :p

judge dredd vs judge john deed.

[/ QUOTE ]

Deed would use his wig fu on dread end of story

Chicken vs The Egg

[Expeditor]

The egg came first, that hatched the first chicken - the creature that laid it was one step back from a chicken on the evolutionary ladder!

Mary Jane Watson vs Lois Lane?

[Silver_Weasel]

Mary Jane Watson, she's a red-head dammit... Have you tried stopping one?

Romeo vs. Juliet?

[CBeet]

romeo, he got da moves ain' 'e?

ghost rider vs lobo in a race to the death.

[Kronos_EU]

Ghost Rider. He's already dead!

Hawkeye vs Falcon

[War_Hero_EU]

Ok, just to get one THE toughest vs out the way. Jack vs James. Coz previous bouts above have been quite weak. Massive fan of both so....
Jack has tech & CTU. Bond has Q & MI6 = Draw.
Shooting lovers in the name of duty = Draw
Slapping people about incl. the women! = Draw.
Go against protocol/orders = Draw.
Accomplices/side kicks etc. dying/staying alive while on mission with.. = Draw

Looking close, right?
The clincher.
Bond faked his death to proceed. Jack has ACTUALLY died to get the job done = Jack.
So by a whisker Winner is Jack.

Onto Falcon Vs Hawkeye.

Falcon's only known powers to me (correct me if wrong) a set of wings & military training but human
Hawkeye human sharpshooter

POW! Hawkeye shoots Falcon's wings out then runs intoa building for added security. Takes an elevated position, BOP! Falcon KO'd by a stun arrow.

Next bout Iceman vs Human Torch!

[CBeet]

human torch, he could just go supernova and wipe out everybody :)

professor X vs the incredible hulk

[Frozen_Rogue]

Professor X has the upper hand for a while but has a sudden heartt attack loosing his mental powers for a long enough time to allow hulk to smash apart his frail body. And his wheel chair.

Anyone remember Tenacious D? Well how about Wonder Boy with his Yak killing mind bullets versus the Shiny Deamon?

[Gall_]

Batman Vs Nighthawk? Here you go Wordy, rant away ;)

Batman Vs Midnighter. I'd say Midnighter, because no matter what Bats did, he'd predict it and crush his face :P

[Wordmaker]

Batman Batman Batman! :D :D :D

Besides, what's fun about a character who can always predict how a fight's going to turn out?

Besides, you're assuming a straight fight. Batman fights neither fairly or directly.

[Standoff]

Remember? How could we possibly forget!?

Looking at capabilities from the lyrics and videos:

Wonderboy
Yak-slaying Mind Bullets
Flight
The power to move you
Documented rock-hard superhero
NPC Friend: Young Nasty Man (with powers comparable to Wonderboy)

Shiny Demon
Whoopy tail (can whip crack)
Threatens to steal souls, but flees blubbing when people play nice music at him
Can't play the guitar
Quite tall


So we have a lanky guy who might raise a nasty welt by flicking you with his tail, versus someone generally reckoned to be on a par with Superman for hardness (and who also can bring a friend equally as hard).


Wonderboy for the win! :)

Next up: USS Enterprise vs Cylon Battlestar

[Gall_]

Neither does Midnighter. Unless you call driving a 3 mile long, interdimensional cruiser into someone's face a fair fight?

As for what fun etc....what fun is there in a character who ALWAYS wins, eventually :P

[DreamWeaver]

Depends on *which* ones:

OLD SCHOOL TREK vs OLD SCHOOL CYLONS:
Original crew take down the tinfoil terrors using Scotty's ingenuity, Spock's analysis and Kirk's flagrant bad acting, leaving a crippled Baltar hissing "I spit my last...breath...at thee..." and looking for another job.

NEW SCHOOL TREK vs OLD SCHOOL CYLONS:
Data wants to understand it. Baldy wants to quote Shakespeare at it. Overbalancing Greek lass wants to communicate with it. Funky shades dude wants to tinker with it and only Worf thinks it should be blown out of the sky. Sadly, the usual mass debate for forty minutes before any actual action in the last ten doesn't happen, as six hundred screaming Cylon fighters pound the star hippy van to dust.

OLD SCHOOL TREK vs NEW SCHOOL CYLONS
Kirk meets Agent Six, promptly seducing her and overloading her pleasure circuits. Sadly, this causes the ship to explode. Score draw.

NEW SCHOOL TREK vs NEW SCHOOL CYLONS:
Geordi fired for installing Windows.NET on the Enterprise as six hundred screaming Cylon fighters pound the star hippy van to dust.

Okay: pvc-clad death-dealing ubergothvixen matchup...

Selene (Kate Beckinsale, Underworld)
vs
Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss, Matrix)

[Gall_]

Sadly SElene. Because all she has to do is unplug Trinity from the Matrix :?

[Frozen_Rogue]

Ahhh, but wouldn't she be in the matrix, like the rest of us?

Trinity would smash her apart; you can't tangle with someone who knows how tpo push the matrix to it's limits.

How about every single Power Ranger ever created (with zords or whatever) versus the entire Justice League?

[Gall_]

Justice League. Power Rangers are too [censored] for words to convey :eek:

Ahhh IF she was in the Matrix, but the initial question didn't clarify ;) If it was within the Matrix then clearly Trin would win.

[Frozen_Rogue]

*Nudges FInn*

After a reply your meant to make a new battle. SO do it! :D

[Gall_]

Okay :P

Ummmm hmmm....

Ultimate Hulk Vs. normal HUlk.

[CBeet]

[ QUOTE ]
Anyone remember Tenacious D? Well how about Wonder Boy with his Yak killing mind bullets versus the Shiny Deamon?


[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
Remember? How could we possibly forget!?

Looking at capabilities from the lyrics and videos:

Wonderboy
Yak-slaying Mind Bullets
Flight
The power to move you
Documented rock-hard superhero
NPC Friend: Young Nasty Man (with powers comparable to Wonderboy)

Shiny Demon
Whoopy tail (can whip crack)
Threatens to steal souls, but flees blubbing when people play nice music at him
Can't play the guitar
Quite tall


So we have a lanky guy who might raise a nasty welt by flicking you with his tail, versus someone generally reckoned to be on a par with Superman for hardness (and who also can bring a friend equally as hard).


Wonderboy for the win! :)

Next up: USS Enterprise vs Cylon Battlestar

[/ QUOTE ]

ahh, its nice to see tenacious D on these forums.. wonderboy.. what is the secret of your powers.. wonderboy.. shiny shiny daemon.. in the middle of the road... it brings a tear to your eye *sniff*

[_Chi_]

[ QUOTE ]
Okay :P

Ummmm hmmm....

Ultimate Hulk Vs. normal HUlk.

[/ QUOTE ]

OK, it would go something like this:
KEY:
Ultimate Hulk
Normal Hulk

- RAAARRGGHH!!!
- ME SMASH JOO!!
- ME ULTIMATE! RAARRGHH!
Dr. Betty Hulks! Stop! I love you both equally! come here and give me a big wet kiss!
- Whraa? HULK STEAL ULTIMATE HULK WOMAN! HULK KILL HULK! RAAARRGHH!
- RHA HA HA HA! SMASH SMASH SMASH!

- Big Company *Drops massive nuclear bomb near Betty*

- Hulks Forget about the fight and jump to save betty. Ultimate Hulk lands on Hulk, squashing him, then the bomb goes. The end. Another amazing adventure by mr Lee.


Ok. Bridger v Rockjaw.

...

.....

...

Oh wait. We already know the outcome, don't we Bridge ;)

Bill Gates VS The whole of NCSoft.

Now you can prove yourself Mr B :)

[Unbroken Shard]

Bill gates or nc soft hey
This is easy NC hands down
Think about it how can Bill Gates inventor of the worlds biggest Oxymoron ... Microsoft works ... ever compare.

how about this a Wraith vs the Doci

[Dark_Stone]

Heh... man Sinister + Dexter are old... gotta love 2000AD.

Deadpool would win though, with a snappy joke that no-on laughs at, by jimmeny.

Synapse Vs Leeeeeeeeeerooooooooooooooooooy Jeeeeeeeeenkiiiiiiiiiiins!

[Stasisesque]

Heh, you've seen the CoH/Leeroy trailer too? ;)

Leeroy wins as at least he "got chicken", Synapse only has that godawful TF.

Ok, here we go:
Sam Lowry (of Brazil fame) versus Winston Smith (of 1984 fame).

[DreamWeaver]

Sam due to:
(a) ability to escape mayhem, even by becoming insane
(b) being a Terry Gilliam creation
(c) having Robert De Niro - no less - as his elite assault plumber sidekick

next... who has the most cunning plan out of..

Prince Edmund, The Black Adder
vs
Lord Edmund Blackadder
vs
Sir Edmund Blackadder
vs
Lt. Edmund Blackadder, Royal Infantry

Lord Percy and Flashheart banned from ringside. baaaah.

[Cass_]

easy, lord Edmund Blackadder, being the most cunning of them all, and having the least surggestions from baldrick, whaich helps alot, he got one over on the baby eating bishop of bathen wells after all, no mean feat. :D

Lister Vs. Rimmer

[Arctic_Princess]

Thought I'd pop my tuppenneth in :D

Lister of course. Rimmer would be too concerned about the state of Lister's armpits to hit him - plus he's a hologram...

Right, I've been aching to ask this one:

Jennifer Hart VS Jessica Fletcher

[Dark_Stone]

easy, Jessica Fletcher.

Ok, Back to basics...

Bulb vs Parrot!

[Wamdue_EU]

Parrot!

The Dulux Dog vs The Andrex Puppy

[Irradiator_EU]

Beneath that shaggy exterior lies a mad killer hound. The dulux dog would just eat that irritating little puppy!

An easy one:

One Clone Wars Jedi (the cartoon) vs. all the movie jedi and sith

[_Chi_]

The cartoon, because that program would be stupid enough to let it happen.

Now that we're on the subject of Star Wars (for which I think of my self somewhat an aficionado)

Bobba Fett (the Bounty hunter from ESRB [V], eg Jango Fett's father) vs Back Alley Brawler

[DreamWeaver]

Depends which universe they're playing in.

CoH: Brawler takes some initial early knocks until he unleashes Boba's worst nightmare... Web Grenade temp power. *WHACK*

Star Wars: Brawler's powers vanish on entering the universe as he doesn't fit into New Game Experience. Forced to respec as an Entertainer, he forms a James Brown cover band and successfully tours eighteen planets with Boba as manager.

Ghost Widow
vs
Ghostbusters (original movie version)

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]

Ghost Widow
vs
Ghostbusters (original movie version)

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, please. Ghostbusters. Three doctors and a former marine? Plus Rick Moranis causing a distraction? Who YOU gonna call?

Positron versus Megatron.

[Irradiator_EU]

Dr. Peter Venkman: All right! This chick is TOAST!
Dr. Peter Venkman: [the team walks toward Ghost Widow] Grab your sticks.
Ray, Egon, & Winston: HOLDING!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Heat 'um up!
Ray, Egon, & Winston: SMOKING!
Dr. Peter Venkman: [Ghost Widow growls] Make 'um hard!
Ray, Egon, & Winston: READY!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Let's show this prehistoric [censored] who we do thing downtown. THROW IT!

Ghostbusters eventually win by crossing the streams.
Inexplicably they end up covered in marshmallow.

Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter vs. Dr. Curtis Connors, Lizard

[CBeet]

[ QUOTE ]
Positron versus Megatron.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter vs. Dr. Curtis Connors, Lizard

[/ QUOTE ]

well, megatron would step on positron, killing positron, but making him self-destruct taking out megatron, neither of them win.

as for steve irwin vs the lizard, erm.. steve would jump on top of the lizard, then the lizard would grab him and rip him in two, lizard wins

statesman (http://www.creationmatrix.com/mc/heroclix/pictures/coh/statesman.jpg) vs green lantern (http://images.tvnz.co.nz/tvnz_images/tv2/kids/justice_league/green_lantern_d.jpg)

[Miss_Marvellous]

States would win hands down weilding the mighty nerf bat he would reduce the Lantern to a jibbering wreack.

Edward Scissorhands Vs Willy Wonka

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Edward Scissorhands Vs Willy Wonka

[/ QUOTE ]

Willy Wonka would win. Edward Scissorhands, for all his implied badassery, is a wuss, whereas the real Willy Wonka (The Gene Wilder one) was a borderline sociopath.

The Incredible Hulk Vs Hulk Hogan Vs Paul Hogan

[Kronos_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Onto Falcon Vs Hawkeye.

Falcon's only known powers to me (correct me if wrong) a set of wings & military training but human
Hawkeye human sharpshooter

POW! Hawkeye shoots Falcon's wings out then runs intoa building for added security. Takes an elevated position, BOP! Falcon KO'd by a stun arrow.


[/ QUOTE ]
This was in fact a trick question.
Falcon would win.
"Distract him Redwing" would be the cry, as his trusty sidekick lays into Hawkeye whilst Falcon sneaks up on him and tickles him from behind...or his behind.

Incredible Hulk vs Hulk Hogan vs Paul Hogan

It would be Hulk Hogan. Whilst Paul Hogan is deliberating on which knife is the biggest, and IH just being a cartoon drawn in 2d, Hulk Hogan is actually quite large. He's also the youngest of the 3.

Peter Andre vs Andre the Giant

[Stasisesque]

[ QUOTE ]
whereas the real Willy Wonka (The Gene Wilder one) was a borderline sociopath.

[/ QUOTE ]

/em praise.

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
It would be Hulk Hogan. Whilst Paul Hogan is deliberating on which knife is the biggest, and IH just being a cartoon drawn in 2d, Hulk Hogan is actually quite large. He's also the youngest of the 3.

Peter Andre vs Andre the Giant

[/ QUOTE ]

Someone who knew who Paul Hogan was/is? Bless you.

Andre The Giant would win. Granted, he's dead, but so's Peter Andre's career, unless you count touring Jumpin Jaks up and down the country. Plus, as anyone who's seen The Princess Bride can tell you, Andre The Giant can rhyme better.

And, speaking of rhymes...

Eminem versus The M&M TV ad sweets.

[DJFMiddleton]

I think the M&M sweets would win coz they can just open a new bag of M&Ms and start kicking Eminems [censored] :p

sorry if this has been said but i didnt want to read all of the posts but here goes

Godzilla VS Monkey Kong

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Godzilla VS Monkey Kong

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm choosing to read that as 'Donkey Kong', no matter who you meant. And you can't beat a gorilla who throws barrels at people. That's just...the ultimate weapon. Hell, I want a new 'barrel throwing' power in CoH, dammit!

Lionel Blair versus Tony Blair

[Coin]

[ QUOTE ]
[Lionel Blair versus Tony Blair

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmm, easy one, Lionel Blair would guess what to do after a nice genlte game of Charades and then tap-dance all over Tony Blairs stupid hairdo :)

ok....

Girl [censored] Slap Fight Festival...

Bufy, Willow and Cordelia vs The Charmed Ones.......preferably in a big tup of melted chocolate.......

[Silver_Weasel]

Mmmmmmmmmm..semi-afk for a moment...

Winner : All the men :)

Ronald McDonald vs The Burger King (Damn, he's scary in a peep booth) vs. The Wimpy Burger Man?

[Frozen_Rogue]

CLwons never loose.

Mr Blobby versus ChuckNorris

I only ask this because Mr Blobby was like the only person who WASN"T in the group that finally took down Chuck Norris. And it took a whole load of people to take the cowboy down. But, as we all know, Mr Blobby is special... Let's get it on!

[Chelsea_EU]

Nobody could hurt blobby through that rubber suit then blobby would just irritate chuck till he hanged himself.

Delboy and Rodney V Arthur Daley and Terry McCann

[DreamWeaver]

Mr. Blobby is programmed not to harm his creator, because Chuck Norris and Noel Edmonds are one and the same person.

The shocking truth uncovered (clicky) (http://213.232.107.170/swapshop.jpg)

EDIT: Delboy and Rodney lose by default, after breaking out that consignment of hookey Bavarian laser pistols with the dodgy fuel cells. *BANG*

...anyone fancy a drink in the Winchester with one of this lot?

Ghost Widow
vs
Marilyn Manson
vs
Papa Lazarou
vs
Ozzy Osbourne

[Cass_]

Papa Lazarou wins... Becasue your my wife now dave... :D

open for the next round...

[Duckdee]

Slinky vs Yo-Yo

[Silver_Weasel]

Herr Flick (League of Gentlemen) vs. Herr Lipp ('Allo 'Allo) vs. Nicky Clarke. (Herr Dresser ;))

[Silver_Weasel]

Yo-yo wins because there's always some stupid idiot (No brothers mentioned) that stretch them apart when you get one for Xmas after badgering your parents for weeks.

*cough*

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Herr Flick (League of Gentlemen) vs. Herr Lipp ('Allo 'Allo) vs. Nicky Clarke. (Herr Dresser ;))

[/ QUOTE ]

Nicky Clarke. He can bribe the other two with the money he gets from his endorsements. Although, wasn't Herr Flick from 'Allo 'Allo?

Stephen King versus Recluse

[Cass_]

Yeah, her got them the wrong way round, herr lip in the LoG, herr Flick was 'allo 'allo

[Coin]

[ QUOTE ]
Stephen King versus Recluse

[/ QUOTE ]

Stephen King....simply cos he's got faaaaaar more money than Recluse......and he wrote the Shining, which is far scarier :)

Ok....

Albus Dumbledore vs Granny Weatherwax

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

Dumbledore. Because he isn't dead! (http://www.dumbledoreisnotdead.com/)

Speaking of people who aren't dead:

Elvis (circa 1950's) Versus Elvis (circa 1970's)

OR

Chucky versus Any Mini-toon

[TheDarkDestroyer]

i think elviz 1970's would win becoz he wood sit on him or [censored] in his mouth (sorry elvis lovers he died on the toilet its a possibility)

Shadow Flame 96 VS DarkDestroyer. take in to cosideration that dark destroyer is a DARK/DARK scrap and shadow is a FIRE/SUPER STRENGTH tank and shadow has the experience advantage (having had the game since last may) even tho I (darkdestroyer) hav beaten him twice in the arena and one of the times i was lvl 17 and he was lvl 19

[DJFMiddleton]

Hummmmmmm i think Shadow Flame 96 would win coz DarkDestroyer. is the worst player on city of heroes

Hamidon VS babbage Paladin and Jurassic

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Hummmmmmm i think Shadow Flame 96 would win coz DarkDestroyer. is the worst player on city of heroes

[/ QUOTE ]

Must not say it. Must not say it. Must not say it...

PWNED!

Oh, nuts. I said it.

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Shadowflame lvl 21 tank (he may be my mates but i named him and trained up 14 of his lvls

[/ QUOTE ]

Unless I'm mistaken, isn't that a violation of the EULA?

Next match-up:

Joshua_Stewart Versus Bridger

[Silver_Weasel]

[ QUOTE ]
Yeah, her got them the wrong way round, herr lip in the LoG, herr Flick was 'allo 'allo

[/ QUOTE ]

I claim temporary insanity!!! :D

Generic_Hero284 vs. Bridger?

Nuff said ;)

Spectrum 128 vs Commodore 64 vs Dragon 32 vs BBC Micro C?

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Spectrum 128 vs Commodore 64 vs Dragon 32 vs BBC Micro C?

[/ QUOTE ]

This is easy, as only one of these PC's has been immortalised by a Plug & Play TV Game, C64 FTW!

Open round...

[TheDarkDestroyer]

i reackon joshua stewart wood kick bridgers [censored] and reckon dark destroyer would kick shadow flames [censored] to since im kickin his [censored] in the pic on creative its a thread called cnt take 4 can u josh lol neway who wood win in a five way battle to the death with me(darkdestroyer),shadowflame,capt inferno(if u dnt no who he is u dnt deseve to read this thread),brick000 and last and maybe least bridger note we wood all be lvl 50

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
i reackon joshua stewart wood kick bridgers [censored]...blah blah blah lol blah blah wid blah blah blah...neway who wood win in a five way battle to the death with me(darkdestroyer),shadowflame,capt inferno(if u dnt no who he is u dnt deseve to read this thread),brick000 and last and maybe least bridger note we wood all be lvl 50

[/ QUOTE ]

You don't get to call out new levels, it's an as-is sort of thing. Otherwise there'd be complete bedlam. And I say Bridger would squash you like a bug. Would, could, should...all semantics in this case.

Also, I have absolutely no idea who Captain Inferno is, and, shockingly, I neither care, nor do I intend to find out.

Back to the matter at hand.
Atari Lynx Versus Nintendo DS

[DJFMiddleton]

tut tut tut you give Bridger too much power you talk about him as if his god. Now i know one person who can beat bridger and that person is Capt Inferno! :cool:

[TheDarkDestroyer]

well sed dave i almost feel sorry for bridger not knowing who captain inferno is..... i will say hands up that there is no way i could beat him not even 3 of me could. captain inferno is basicly god to me lol the man owns atlas and has done since lvl 6

ne1 wanna settle this who would win stuff in the arena be my guest

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

Not to be pedantic, but it's hands down, not up.

[ QUOTE ]
well sed dave i almost feel sorry for bridger not knowing who captain inferno is...

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't say Bridger doesn't know who Captain Inferno is. I said I didn't. I'm not Bridger. There's a subtle yet distinct difference. See, Bridger probably wouldn't care what you type, as long as it isn't insulting, derogatory, or off-topic. Or about cheese or dunking biscuits, from what I've seen. I, on the other hand, just plain don't care about anything you type. Bridger, being one of the Mods for the forum, has way more power than I do. His word is pretty much law. By contrast, I have absolutely no power, other than my wits. To make up for this difference between myself and Bridger, I'm way better looking.

[ QUOTE ]
ne1 wanna settle this who would win stuff in the arena be my guest

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, this'll be good. So, let me get this straight: You're calling out anyone and everyone to go one on one with you in the arena? Sounds kind of pointless. What do we get if we win?

[TheDarkDestroyer]

well "hands down" i seem to hav got a bit muddled up and gd on u for givin me the heads up about who runs this place (bridger)i guess im startin to think i own the place like i always do after all ive only had the game since crimbo

o ye and i didnt say u got nefink if u won i jus wanna see how long my heroe DD will last agenst sum of the big boys. i am only lvl 23 and so no 1 past lvl 30 wnts to fight me not even for fun so my tactic is to [censored] off sum real hard hitters on these forums so that they jus wanna kick my [censored] so bad they fight me ;) maybe u wanna :cool:

[TheDarkDestroyer]

[ QUOTE ]
tut tut tut you give Bridger too much power you talk about him as if his god. Now i know one person who can beat bridger and that person is Capt Inferno! :cool:

[/ QUOTE ]
dave i think we give capt inferno too much power lol i remember praising him on atlas's knee for 2 hours strait...................... gd times

[DJFMiddleton]

[ QUOTE ]
i remember praising him on atlas's knee for 2 hours strait...................... gd times

[/ QUOTE ] you really did that when was this josh i didnt know

anyway who would win Jay VS Silent Bob

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
so my tactic is to [censored] off sum real hard hitters on these forums so that they jus wanna kick my [censored] so bad they fight me ;) maybe u wanna :cool:

[/ QUOTE ]

Word of advice to you is "don't". People don't tend to take arguments from the forums into the Arena. What they do is petition Bridger to lock a thread, wipe it clean, or consider banning the person from the forums. I work three jobs that take up almost every waking hour of my day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. What precious little free time I get, I choose to spend in the company of the good people you see in the forums and in the game. Yes, I've had my disagreements with one or two of them, but I respect the hell out of them, the ones I've argued with even more so. One thing I've learned in the little time I've spent online is that whilst they're all good, solid people, if you annoy them for absolutely no reason, they'll (justifiably) come down on you like a ton of bricks, and you'll never get the match up you want, if only because everyone who might consider you as a PvP opponent won't want anything to do with you.

If you want to PvP against someone, do the smart thing. Do the polite thing. Do the 'done' thing, and ask. ;) My answer, before you ask me, is no. What little time I have to play, I try to spend it in missions or in Pocket D.

And, believe it or not, if you're level 23, you've probably 'met' Bridger before, in one form or another. I understand he also goes by the name of Back Alley Brawler. Now THAT would be a match-up I'd love to see.

As for the Jay versus Silent Bob fight, I'd have to say Silent Bob. Yes, he plays the silent dolt next to the loud mouthed, wisecracking, moronic Jay, but at the same time, he always breaks out of his shell at a poignant moment to lay down the line, and I have no doubt that "mostly buffoonish but occasionally dangerously intelligent and witty" will beat "never shuts up, never makes sense" every time.

Make of that what you will. ;)

My previous match-up stands.

Atari Lynx versus Nintendo DS

[Duckdee]

[ QUOTE ]
i reackon joshua stewart wood kick bridgers [censored] and reckon dark destroyer would kick shadow flames [censored] to since im kickin his [censored] in the pic on creative its a thread called cnt take 4 can u josh lol neway who wood win in a five way battle to the death with me(darkdestroyer),shadowflame,capt inferno(if u dnt no who he is u dnt deseve to read this thread),brick000 and last and maybe least bridger note we wood all be lvl 50

[/ QUOTE ]
:confused:

[TheDarkDestroyer]

nintendo DS i reckon

what about the main man Lobo and wolverine VS super man and batman

its a tuff 1

[DJFMiddleton]

this is a hard to pick. Well id say Superman and Batman would win because superman and batman work great as a team but Lobo and wolverine nah they wouldnt do so good together.

Purple bunnie VS White bunnie

[Necropolis_]

White bunnies for teh win!

Furbies v Ooglies

[DJFMiddleton]

Im going for the ooglies to win just looked them on google and they look better than furbies so its a win for ooglies

Superman VS Hitler

[Silver_Weasel]

Uh..Hitler as Superman is a fictional character. :p

Jack Regan (Sweeny) vs. Jean Hunt (Life on Mars) vs. Captain Harold Dobey (Starsky & Hutch) in a "Guv" Battle.

[Hidden_EU]

im preety sure this has been said before but stf it XD

Green Lantern
vs
Super man
vs
Spider Man
vs
Blade
vs
DareDevil
vs
Doctor Octacious
vs
Statesman
vs
Bridger
vs
Rock Jaw

Right then cast your votes... wait for it.... NOW

[Silver_Weasel]

Oi, get in line ;)

[Hidden_EU]

XD sorry buddy for ures i vote the guy from syarsky and hutch :)

[Coin]

[ QUOTE ]
Green Lantern
vs
Super man
vs
Spider Man
vs
Blade
vs
DareDevil
vs
Doctor Octacious
vs
Statesman
vs
Bridger
vs
Rock Jaw


[/ QUOTE ]

Hmm, I'd be tempted to just go with Bridger, as when all the others are busy fighting, he would just come in a lock the thread anyway....but we all know how the battle in the Arena between Bridger and Rockjaw went.....so sorry Bridger, old chap, but Rockjaw FTW! :)

Ok....

Kang vs Kor vs Koloth vs Worf vs Martok Vs Jadzia Dax (One fo the Trekkies out there :) )

[Silver_Weasel]

Dax wins...Symbiotic Lifeforms don't tend to lose :)

Rock vs. Paper vs. Scissors?

[CBeet]

rock, if it was big enough, if not then scissors.

all of the characters from star wars vs all of the characters from star trek.

[Doc_Shango]

All the Star Wars characters kick back and relax as Mace Windu does his thing. The Trek cast are cut to ribbons in seconds apart from Kirk whos adventuring with Princess Leia in a cupboard.Emerges to find the Enterprise wrecked, the remains of his crew and a very angry looking Han Solo with blaster in hand.
Winner - Star Wars

Chuck Norris Vs Galactus

[Silver_Weasel]

Galactus eats Chuck.

But....then Chuck performs a Cesarian Roundhouse and Galactus does his John Hurt impression.

Beard wins.

Ganymede vs. Scratch?

[Doc_Shango]

Scratch takes to the fight with fight moves learned from years of Saturday night clubbing experience. Ganymede is left reeling and on the ropes. Then the unthinkable happens - the Toga comes loose and drops to the floor simultaniously causing Scratch major mental issues and indisputably proving that Togas are a poor choice for fighting clothes. No amount of Saturdays in Paragon City have prepared Scratch for this and he is overwhelmed leaving him easy pickings for Ganymede

next up...
Frostfire Vs Atta

[Silver_Weasel]

Frostfire summons Jack Frost and the Fire Imps and grins evilly on how Atta's minions are spread out.

Then he starts looking...

After 2 hours, he gets bored and logs out.

Atta by default.

Stone Cold Steve Austin (WWE) vs Stone Cold Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice)?

[Doc_Shango]

Stone Cold Choke engages Mr Darcy and Mr Willoughby in a triple threat Brawl by the lake. Stone Cold wins hands down using his modern wrestling knowledge against the antiquated queensbury rules of the other two. His prowess soon catches the imagination of Jane Austin (behold how I mix fictional characters with their creators world!) and the two fall in love. Stone Cold drinks a beer in celebration.
Result: Score Draw

Kirk Vs Picard Vs Janeway Vs Cisco Vs Bloke from Quantum Leap
(apologies if this has been on before - missed about a month of posts on this thread and it seems like the type of thing that would already of been done)

[Silver_Weasel]

(Was done on Statesman's Dr Who Thread but not here :))

[Doc_Shango]

hmmm......... curse my lack of using the search function! when will I learn!

[Irradiator_EU]

Kirk would beat Picard, Cisco and Quantum Leap man easiliy in a fist fight in the desert, merely tearing his uniform in the process. He would then begin teaching Janeway about love :o
Result, Janeway and Kirk win

[ QUOTE ]
hmmm......... curse my lack of using the search function! when will I learn!

[/ QUOTE ]

heh, how about a UBBCode forum search vs. Google

[Silver_Weasel]

[ QUOTE ]

Result, Janeway and Kirk win


[/ QUOTE ]

MINDBLEACH!!!!!

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Result, Janeway and Kirk win


[/ QUOTE ]

MINDBLEACH!!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, I'm pretty sure that Janeway wouldn't 'win'. I mean, the guy's pretty darned old.

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Result, Janeway and Kirk win


[/ QUOTE ]

MINDBLEACH!!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, I'm pretty sure that Janeway wouldn't 'win'. I mean, the guy's pretty darned old.

[/ QUOTE ]

YAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHH.... *clutches stomach*

Changing the subject rapidly before I lose my lunch...

[ QUOTE ]
UBBCode forum search vs. Google

[/ QUOTE ]

Google wins, since it can even detect mysterious black helicopters from orbit. (clicky) (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/10/14/google_earth_competition_results/page2.html)

No perception buff needed.

An oldie but a goodie:

Star Trek security crew (perma-doomed Red Shirts)
vs
Star Wars stormtroopers (who can't hit the broad side of an asteroid)

...someone got an aspirin?

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
An oldie but a goodie:

Star Trek security crew (perma-doomed Red Shirts)
vs
Star Wars stormtroopers (who can't hit the broad side of an asteroid)

[/ QUOTE ]

Stalemate. The Red Shirts can't die if the Stormtroopers can't hit them. Unless the Red Shirts all smack their heads on the Slowly Opening Door o' Doom and die of cracked skulls.

Hmm. Something different...something new...
CoH versus CoV

[Silver_Weasel]

CoH wins by a mile, but then CoV mugs it and takes the trophy.

Birdie (Streetfighter 1/2) vs. Billy Kane (KOF) vs. John Steed.(The Avengers) vs Captain Britain (M_rvel) in a battle of the Brits?

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Birdie (Streetfighter 1/2) vs. Billy Kane (KOF) vs. John Steed.(The Avengers) vs Captain Britain (M_rvel) in a battle of the Brits?

[/ QUOTE ]

Pfft. John Steed. The others may be 'English', but he's 'British' to a tee.

Mr T versus Clubber Lang versus Lt Bosco Baracus

[DreamWeaver]

Clubber Lang has BA on the ropes until Hannibal and Murdock crash through the wall with giant cabbage-firing contraption handily built in the nick of time.

(I don't know why I remember the cabbage-firing machine above any others, but...)

Mr.T disqualified as too busy hanging with Conan O'Brien, doing ads, signing autographs and flogging comedy ringtones.

One for the Stalkers out there...

Leon The Cleaner (Jean Reno, Femme Nikita/Leon)
vs
Nikita (Femme Nikita - either original film or TV)
vs
Beatrice Kiddo (Uma Thurman, Kill Bill 1 & 2)
vs
Teppic (newly qualified assassin, Ankh-Morpork)

[Gall_]

Leon obviously!

Juggernaut Vs Superman, to get things back onto Superheroes :P

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

Superman, unless Juggernaut's being played by Vinnie Jones. Because British footballers can beat up everyone.

[Coin]

Yeah, gotta be Superman, he'd just out think Juggernaut any day of the week :)

Ok, probably been done already, but I cannae be bothered to check :)

Battle of the Big Guns...

Superman vs Statesman

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Battle of the Big Guns...

Superman vs Statesman

[/ QUOTE ]

Statesman any day. He's faster, stronger, smarter, and just way cooler. Kids these days grow up and say "I want to be like Statesman when I grow up"...

...There. I did it. Don't even THINK about nerfing me.

[Gall_]

Is he faster, stronger etc?

Having never read a comic starring him I couldn't say

[Silver_Weasel]

Leon might be able to kill Peta Wilson, but Anne Parillaud would out snipe him anyway.

Kristy Swanson & Donald Sutherland vs.
Sarah Michelle Gellar and Anthony Stewart-Head ?

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

Ooh, the Buffy match-up!

Sarah Michelle Gellar would be able to take Donald Sutherland, whereas Kristy Swanson might not be able to take on Heady. The TV series Buffy characters win.

[DreamWeaver]

Next on Fight Club... knife wielding maniac special...

Freddie Krueger
vs
Leatherface
vs
Chucky
vs
Gordon Ramsay

[CBeet]

[ QUOTE ]
Next on Fight Club... knife wielding maniac special...

Freddie Krueger
vs
Leatherface
vs
Chucky
vs
Gordon Ramsay

[/ QUOTE ]

Freddie would rip leatherface apart, chucky would try to stab Gordon, but then Gordon would just splat him with a frying pan, leaving Krueger and Ramsay to duke it out, Freddie would torment Gordon till be cant take it any more and shouts every single swear word he knows at Freddie, making his head explode. Gordon Ramsay wins.

spiderman vs mr fantastic

[Doc_Shango]

Goes for two rounds
Round 1 - Spiderman swings in and kicks Mr Fantastic hard in the stomach. Mr Fantastics back bulges as the impact of the blow lands but then "rubber bands" back throwing Spiderman backwards. Spidey vaults in mid air, lands and launches back towards Reed. The speed of the attack throws Reed off guard and he catches it on the chin making his head twist in a comedy style. Recovering quickly Reed forms hammers out of his hands and swings them at Spidey. Web lines immediately slam into the whirling fists, pinning the fist to a wall. Reed merely stretches his apendage and splits the webbing and hits Spidy. Spidey stands up and makes a remark involving him getting "stetch marks" or some such. Realising he needs another plan Spidey retreats. (Possible chase sequence ensues with Spidey webbing away and reed giving chase using extending arms to grab building etc)

Round 2 - Spidey gets home and in a stroke of genius he mixes bubble gum with his web fluid making it uber stretchy. Spidey then sets out for battle. Reed see's spidey coming and prepares for combat. Unfortunately it is a short fight and spidey unloads 2 webshooters full of stretcho-webbing tm onto Reed who is totally unable to stretch enough to split it.

Winner Spiderman

Next Up: Mean Angel Vs The Thing

[Stasisesque]

[ QUOTE ]
Stasis:"Buffy would win because she's funny and would pun her whilst Xena would be eyeing up Gabrielle"

[/ QUOTE ]

My English is very much ungood in that sentence. Honest I speaks English real very nice when Weasel isn't translating it from me :D.

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Next Up: Mean Angel Vs The Thing

[/ QUOTE ]

The Thing. Because, quite honestly, I've never heard of Mean Angel.

A Peacebringer versus The Alien (from the original Ridley Scott movie) versus Mork.

[_Max_]

Mork gets knocked out in the first minute, as for all his "Nanoo Nanoo"-ing, it's not much of a fighting move. The Alien, although very deadly, is also normally easy to kill so long as you have weaponry, hence the Peacebringer would fly in the air, and with its last bit of endurance due to the drain, blast the Alien to bits.

Winner: Peacebringer

The Question(the actual comic book character, not our one) vs Rorschach (of Watchmen fame)

[NiTRoXiDe]

what's about HELLBOY vs HULK

[Doc_Shango]

Although I'm sure our version of the question will dispute it I'm gonna go for the Rorschach.(Defeating his own inspiration - shameful)
The set up is over a case both are investigating that leads them to the killer. Question wants to beat the snot out of him, Rorschach wants to beat the snot out of him and then drop him off a bridge.
It would be a brawl of the meanest kind but in the end Rorschach is more used to going that little extra in the violence stakes.
In repsonce to the Hulk/Hellboy fight - Hellboy is great but HULK SMASH PUNY LOBSTER MAN!!! In terms of strength/endurance Hulk is in another league.

The Abomination Vs Juggernaught

[Silver_Weasel]

A Titanic Battle of the Titans until Abomination realises one thing...he can leap. Juggernaut can't be stopped, but Abomination can just keep going until Jugs gets bored.

Abomination wins with a 6.0 6.0 6.0 5.9 6.0

Psycho WhiteWhash Match

V (for Vendetta) vs. The Joker?

(BTW: Fire, Mean Machine :) (http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/m/mean.htm) )

[Doc_Shango]

The Clown Prince of Crime Vs everyones favourite Anarchist..... Joker gets a mauling at the hands of V and is left battered and bruised. As V moves in to finish the job an unexpected assist from Harley catches him off guard and the Joker shoots V with his lapel based flower gun. V staggers into the Darkness. The Joker thinks he's won and pulls himself upstraight only to be knocked flat by a seemingly unwounded V.... as the Joker's head stops spinning he see's hundreds of cloaked figures wearing the mask advancing. It's too much and the Joker's mind retreats leaving him in a giggling fugue state.
Winner V

Booster Gold Vs Iron Man

[War_Hero_EU]

Just to clarify, Supes vs. States.

Total draw. We all know that when a titanic cross-over like this comes along, you get two frames of fisticuff exchange before they make friends and then go on to stop the merging of worlds by an all-powerful entity (who looks like a man) named after a butter.

Juggy vs Abom. Good fight, Juggy wins coz he gives up, not because can't catch the one running for his life! Juggy has never been properly beaten in a scrap btw!

The match in hand.

IRONMAN! I've seen Booster Gold in action & frankly the guy just can't cut it against Tony Stark's intelligence, resolve or resource.

Give 'em some room folks....

Doomsday vs Juggernaught!

NB: Both at peak strength. Juggy isn't a numbnut remember. and Dooms is the evolved weapon, look what happened to Supes!

[Expeditor]

[ QUOTE ]
Doomsday vs Juggernaught!

[/ QUOTE ]

Good match up. I reckon the fight would just go on and on until Juggy got bored and left. He always seemed to lose interest and bail if there was no real payoff to be had.

That said, the sheer collatoral damage would probably have a couple dozen or more heroes on the scene to end it for them.

Winner: Doomsday.

Sister Psyche vs Jean Grey?

[Silver_Weasel]

Depends who's writing it. In Paragon, Sister Psyche would mindwhip Jean; in M_rvel Jean would slaughter her because of her red hair (Known M_rvel sign of HUGE power/attitude)

Queen vs. Led Zeppelin vs. Metallica vs. Black Sabbat in a Rock God match. Inteference is allowed and compulsory. :)

[Coin]

[ QUOTE ]
Queen vs. Led Zeppelin vs. Metallica vs. Black Sabbat in a Rock God match. Inteference is allowed and compulsory. :)

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmmmmm......

Metallica get knocked out early, despite a good start from a hideous gurning session by Lars Ulrich, by a rabid set of cheated fans who were all named and shamed by the sell outs during the Napster Debacle.

Led Zeppelin decide they are far too cool....or stoned... to compete and wander off thinking deep thoughts..

Queen vs Black Sabbath, one of the greatest battles of all time, Queen starting off badly due to a weak performance from the bassist, John Deacon who decides that he's not part of Queen anymore, but Queen rally magnificently when Roger Taylor drives over most of Black Sabbath in a big freaking car that he's in love with and Brian May then finishes all but one member of Black Sabbath by suffocating them with his GINORMOUS HAIR!!

However, this just leaves the one true God Of Metal....Ozzy!

Ozzy starts well, by slowly shuffling at the pair from Queen and mumblking to himself before calling in a ringer to fight for him...

"SHAROOOOOON!"

Sharon Osbourne appears, and attacks May and Taylor with a bunch of X-Factor rejects, sending them gibbering to the corners in terror...

It looks like Ozzy is triumphant and he even falls over in a comedic style trying to raise his hands in the aire when suddenly, from upon high, a light shines down and a devastating but beautiful voice is heard......

"DI-DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY OH!!"

Freddie Mercury returns to claim his crown as the God Of Rock, but before he can strut magnificently on the stage, he realises who his opponent is and they both stagger off, chatting away, two Gods together!

The winner......the entire planet as Ozzy and Freddie unite to write one of the greatest albums of all time!!

-------------------------------------------

Ok......back to the scheduled programme.....

Battle of the Batmen.

Batman (Adam West) vs Batman (Michael Keaton) vs Batman (Christian Bale) vs Batman (Kevin Conroy)

The 4 best Batman actors....who would win? :)

[Gall_]

Bale. Conroy was just a voice ;) West was a pile of poo, and Keaton would only fall to Bale because Bale is substantially more buff.

The Spectre Vs The Phantom Stranger

[Necropolis_]

In my opinion it'd be Spectre, hes just so darn cool!

Buffy villain bout now

The first evil v Glorificus v The mayor (demon incarnation) v Adam V the Master v Evil Willow v Evil Angel

[Coin]

Ooooh, good match up!!

Well, the First is out in round one, simply cos he/she/it can't actually touch anything! Sure, it would summon some Birngers and Uber Vamps, but the rest of the villains would take them out easy enough.

The Mayor, pffh, funniest villain, yes, but blown up, too easy, not even a challenge for the others.

Adam, a hard one, but I think Glory would take him easy enough, after she is a goddess, and it was partly Willows magics that helped defeat him anyway, so Evil Willow would kick the [censored] out of him.

The Master, not a problem, Angelus knows all his weak spots and would kick the [censored] out of him easily :)

This leaves a titanic battle between Glory, Dark Willow and Angelus. Normally, I'd go for Angelus to win a battle, his advantage was never his strength, it was his mind, he could always get into the mind of his opponents, that's what made it so hard for Buffy, but fighting against Dark Willow and Glory would just be too much for him. Dust in the wind.

Then it's an all out babe-fest as Buffys two greatest Big Bads lay some slam down upon each other! It would be a very close thing, but I think if it was a truly Evil Willow, then she would win, don't forget, Buffy never actually defeated her, it was her own conscience that did it. Dark Willow would just stalemate Glory until she turned back into that bloke and then strip his flesh of him then.

So....Dark Willow ftw!!

Battle of the Ghost Hunters...

Peter Venkman vs Ash from Evil Dead vs The squeaky voiced woman from Poltergiest vs Scooby Doo vs Derek Accorah :)

[Gall_]

Ash ftw!

Gimme some sugar baby!

[Duckdee]

Didn't Xander 'defeat' evil Willow?

[Stasisesque]

In fact, The Council and Giles "defeated" Evil Willow, by allowing her to access all of the magic in the world, and hence feel the world's pain. Xander was just the trigger; his "I wuv j00 Will" speech tapped into the still-human part of Willow's brain and the good within her defeated the magic.

Remember, she never accesssed "dark" magic; just overloaded on "good" magic.

[Standoff]

[ QUOTE ]
Remember, she never accesssed "dark" magic; just overloaded on "good" magic.

[/ QUOTE ]
Although to be honest the whole "(it works like that!?!!) magic = drugs = addictive" premise did suck like a hoover...

[DreamWeaver]

Yep. Think The Whedon was getting distracted at that point by network wrangling... not to mention crazy "cowboys in space" ideas or somesuch goram nonsense that'll never fly in all the days of the 'verse.

Speaking of which...

Jayne vs Lara Croft

[Animal_Mutha_EU]

Mmmmmmmhhh. If it was purely on silicon vrs. loin-cloth basis my money would be on loin-cloth anyday, 'specially if you give bonus points to swinging from vines or living in trees.

Heres another good one:

Metal Micky vrs. Tweaky (from Buck Rogers)

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
Mmmmmmmhhh. If it was purely on silicon vrs. loin-cloth basis my money would be on loin-cloth anyday, 'specially if you give bonus points to swinging from vines or living in trees.

[/ QUOTE ]

That wasn't actually the Jayne I had in mind... (clicky) (http://uk.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0303461/Ss/0303461/5869100_2_18.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Baldwin,%2 0Adam) ... but you still seem to be dead on. Especially about the loincloth. *blink*


[ QUOTE ]

Metal Micky vrs. Tweaky (from Buck Rogers)


[/ QUOTE ]

Both are locked in mortal wisecracking and cuteness combat, and, unbeknownst to them, in a metal crusher.

Winner: humanity.

Next up:
Magneto vs Dr Doom vs Uri Geller

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Magneto vs Dr Doom vs Uri Geller

[/ QUOTE ]

First of all, Uri Geller's powers don't stem from magnestism, they stem from being a hack. Magneto would use his powers to shove a soup spoon directly into Geller's brain, and scoop it out.

Dr Doom....I'm going with the Movie version, simply because I don't write for magic, would try to zap Magneto, only to find him encased in his protective bubble. A lengthy and pointless monologue about "Science 101: What happens when you reverse polarities" would no doubt follow, whilst Magneto rips off Dooms arms, and Doom does his impression of Monty Python's Black Knight, asking if that's the best he could do, whilst Magneto beats Doom to death with his own hands.

Magneto ftw.

Open round.

[CBeet]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Magneto vs Dr Doom vs Uri Geller

[/ QUOTE ]

First of all, Uri Geller's powers don't stem from magnestism, they stem from being a hack. Magneto would use his powers to shove a soup spoon directly into Geller's brain, and scoop it out.

Dr Doom....I'm going with the Movie version, simply because I don't write for magic, would try to zap Magneto, only to find him encased in his protective bubble. A lengthy and pointless monologue about "Science 101: What happens when you reverse polarities" would no doubt follow, whilst Magneto rips off Dooms arms, and Doom does his impression of Monty Python's Black Knight, asking if that's the best he could do, whilst Magneto beats Doom to death with his own hands.

Magneto ftw.

Open round.

[/ QUOTE ]

I would say Bill would win, as Ben is a wimp.

Venom vs Wolverine

[Silver_Weasel]

Xeno's Paradox vs. Schroedingers cat vs. The Chaos Butterfly?

[Coin]

[ QUOTE ]
Xeno's Paradox vs. Schroedingers cat vs. The Chaos Butterfly?

[/ QUOTE ]

Close battle, as the cat tries to attack the butterfly for all those damn weather storms we keep having, but as it leaps to attack it gets put into a box, although it seems to take forever thanks to Xeno and his damn paradox slowing things down.

However, everyone knows that there are actually three states for a cat put in a box, Alive, Dead and Bloody Furious*, so when the box is opened, the cat goes nuts, eats the butterfly and claws Xeno to death, proving that the real winner is actually Murphys Law :)

Comedy kick-off!

The cast of Friends vs the cast of Frasier the cast of The Office vs Alan Partridge (AHH-HAAAAA!)

*Copyright Terry Pratchett :)

[Stasisesque]

The cast of The Office are disqualified before even entering the arena for using far too many predictable jokes and causing half the western world to quit their jobs.

Alan Partridge enters the ring, only to turn to the audience and proceed to describe his weekend in minute detail. A stray crew member calls out, "Steve, get off the stage!" yet Mr. Partridge doesn't respond, having forgotten years ago that he wasn't actually Alan Partridge. When he finally does realise the crew member was addressing him, his head explodes from sheer confusion.

This leaves the cast of Friends and Frasier to duke it out.

Rachel and Ross enter the ring, followed shortly by Niles and Daphne. The two couples ignore their opponents and instead go into a 9 year long routine of "I love you", "I hate you", "I love you". Finally the two couples realise they were meant for one another, the audience cheers and they slip off into the sunset, arm in arm in arm in arm.

Next up, Martin Crane vs. Joey. Joey has no idea what he's doing there, thinking it might be a press conference for the second series of his spin off show. The poor confused stereotyped cutie is distracted by the flashing lights and papparazzi. Martin takes the opportunity to knock Joey's head off with his cane. Thus demonstrating that he can actually walk and for the past 11 years has only been pretending to be disabled. The crowd are furious, believing themselves to be duped...and start hurling abuse/rotten vegetables and DVD boxsets at the man. Unfortunately, though not disabled, John Mahoney is still rather old and is crushed under the weight of one particularly large companion book.

And now, Roz vs. Monica. Doomed from the start. Monica is appalled by Roz's dress sense and lack of neatness; while Roz is desperately flirting with Chandler. Neither girl is in any state to fight...Monica having dropped to her knees and cupped her head in her hands. Chandler blissfully oblivious to Roz's come-ons. The referee notices this could go on for quite some time and so calls an end to it; sending the three of them back to their dressing rooms. (Unfortunately, he ends up sending Chandler and Roz back to the same dressing room, having not been a fan of either of the shows and therefore having no clue which flirt belongs with which "comic").

Finally Frasier and Phoebe appear. A clash of psychology and spirituality. Frasier desperately tries to access Phoebe's inner child, forcing her to express her deep hatred of Ursula, her mother, Rachel, Ross, Chandler and Monica (not Joey though as she's always quite liked him and was furious when the scriptwriters had Joey chase Rachel rather than herself). This causes Phoebe to go on a murderous rampage, starting with the creators of Friends. She's finally caught by Bulldog and falls in love with him immediately; her spirtuality bringing out the good in Bulldog. The two trot off to Vegas to get married in a Friends/Frasier hybrid homage. Unluckily for Frasier, the fact that he turned a sweet girl into a homicidal maniac causes him to commit suicide, muttering "my ethics, my morals, my career!" as he does.

It seems as if it's all over, when Eddie trots up, wagging his tail madly. The crowd cheers. Finally! A decent actor!

Frasier wins by default, but no one really notices.

Next we have:
Sardines (rat of Pratchett fame) vs Ratty (rat of Wind in the Willows fame).

[Coin]

[ QUOTE ]
The cast of....<SNIP QUALITY COMEDY OUTPUT>.....but no one really notices.

[/ QUOTE ]

Applause, just what I like to see in this thread, great comedy :)

[ QUOTE ]

Next we have:
Sardines (rat of Pratchett fame) vs Ratty (rat of Wind in the Willows fame).

[/ QUOTE ]

A long drawn out battle as both rats circle each other for a while before deciding they just want to eat some cheese anmd thus start a long drawn out debate about what is the bets type of cheese...

"Wensleydale?"
"No no no, Edam is clearly the superior"
"Of course there's the ever popular cheddar?"
"Oh you poor deluded rat you!! Cheddar is only for Chav rats!"

However, both stop their discussions when they hear a bony patter approaching them and a voice from behind says simply...."SQUEAK!"

They both promptly run in terror and striahgt into a Number 6 Gibley Special Rat Trap.

Winner - The Death Of Rats!

Next match up - Battle of the Duuuuuuudes!

Wayne and Garth vs Bill and Ted vs Stifler and Finchy vs Crush and Squirt

[CBeet]

Bill and Ted out dude all DOO0D!

since there was no answer, i will say it again.

Venom vs Wolverine

[Silver_Weasel]

"You ready, bub?"
"Ready for what? You and your prancing, runt?"
*growl* Let's go! *SNIKT*"
*THWIP* "oooh is poor little muskrat all gooed up?"
"That's Wolverine! you sack of [censored]!"
"Oooh potty mouth! We are going to have to seal that shut." *THWIP*
"Grrrrr...*SNIKT SNIKT SNIKT*..RRRRRRRAAAAAAH!"
"That impressive...can you make salad with those?"
"Only a salad of you creep!"
"No, we don't think so...*SLAM*"
"Keep hitting me you alien freak. I can regenerate anything you can throw at me!"
"That right? How about I throw myself at you?"
SNIKT!
"Oooh you hurt me about not at all, and now I got you!"
" GET OFF of USssss."
"We are the besssst at what we do, and what we do isn't very nice...we kill spiders..."

Loser : Spiderman.

Next up :

The War of The Worlds Martians vs. The Mysterons (Captain Scarlet) vs. The Martians (Mars Attacks) vs. Marvin the Martian in a Titanic Mars Battle

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
The War of The Worlds Martians vs. The Mysterons (Captain Scarlet) vs. The Martians (Mars Attacks) vs. Marvin the Martian in a Titanic Mars Battle

[/ QUOTE ]

Ahh. Which 'War Of The Worlds'? Do you mean the real one, or the Tom Cruise one?

Also, Wolverine would win that last match-up, for being multi-talented. No incarnation of Venom has ever sung "Oh, What A Beautiful Morning" to the Queen.

[Silver_Weasel]

Tom Cruise? Didn't he star in that APALLING RIP OFF OF ONE OF THE GREATEST BOOKS/MUSIC EVER THAT RUINED THE DAMN PLOT BY MAKING IT ALL ABOUT AMERICAN REFUGEES????

No, the Original ;)

[Stasisesque]

The film original, the radio broadcast original or the original original? ;)

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
The film original, the radio broadcast original or the original original? ;)

[/ QUOTE ]

Ooh, cunning.

[Silver_Weasel]

Yes, that one. :)

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]

The War of The Worlds Martians vs. The Mysterons (Captain Scarlet) vs. The Martians (Mars Attacks) vs. Marvin the Martian in a Titanic Mars Battle

[/ QUOTE ]

Oookay...

War Of The Worlds martians are allergic to bacteria. Mysterons oo KNOW THAT THIS IS TRUE.

Mysterons possess Tom Cruise (he doesn't mind at all and no-one actually notices stary-eyed wooden puppetlike behaviour till final reel) and get him to sneeze over any random lead alien. WOTW aliens expire due to advanced tech not including Lemsip.

However, Tom Cruise *not* having been an expensive actor randomly killed in Mars Attacks, Martians promptly steal him and liquidise his brain, leaving him jumping randomly on sofas and screaming about some bird off Dawson.

Final reel as Martians face down Marvin. Martians have the upper hand until a blast to his ship accidentally knocks radio station to KISSfm during German trance special.

This being highly similar to yodelling, Martians are paralysed and land in wobbly heap, finally being crushed as RMS Titanic appears out of a wormhole in space. Leonardo DiCaprio freezes to death in the vacuum of space. Cinemagoers cheer wildly.

Mysterons try final comeback but are scuppered by lack of AA torch batteries, leaving universe's dumbest alien in control of the White House and Leader of the Free Worl...

*blink*

Don't you SEE? It's already happened! It's true! Outside the limit of our sight, feeding off us, perched on top of us, from birth to death, are our owners! Our owners! They have us. They control us! They are our masters! Wake up! They're all about you! All around you! WAKE UP!!!

*cough*

For our next bout:

Catherine Tramell (Basic Instinct)
vs
Bree Van Den Kamp (Desperate Housewives)
vs
Alex Forrest (Fatal Attraction)
vs
Hedy Carlson (Single White Female)
vs
Mallory Knox (Natural Born Killers)
vs
Annie Wilkes (Misery)

[Duckdee]

The music from the radio production creeps me out...

[Silver_Weasel]

[ QUOTE ]

Catherine Tramell (Basic Instinct)
vs
Bree Van Den Kamp (Desperate Housewives)
vs
Alex Forrest (Fatal Attraction)
vs
Hedy Carlson (Single White Female)
vs
Mallory Knox (Natural Born Killers)
vs
Annie Wilkes (Misery)

[/ QUOTE ]

Battle of the Bunny Boilers? ;)

[Arctic_Princess]

Annie Wilkes - hands down

She has the forearms of a mighty killer....

Also she had a more sinister brand of madness than the others and, as Hollywood tells us, overweight people with bad haircuts are psychopathier psychopaths :p

Next up - Barbra Streisand vs. Bette Midler :D

[Arctic_Princess]

Annie Wilkes - hands down

She has the forearms of a mighty killer....

Also she had a more sinister brand of madness than the others and, as Hollywood tells us, overweight people with bad haircuts are psychopathier psychopaths :p

Next up - Barbra Streisand vs. Bette Midler :D

[Standoff]

A very quick one - Barbra turns into Mecha-Streisland (http://www.angelfire.com/nt/sucks/RUP/), steps on Bette, and it's all over!

Next match: Battle of the Brainy Boffin Babes

Samantha Carter (SG-1) v Temperance Brennan (Bones) v Sydney (Relichunter) v Sam Ryan[1] (Silent Witness)

No alien tech or magic allowed.

[1] Who'd normally be completely outclassed, but is actually Sam Beckett (Quantum Leap) who's popped in to say "Oh boy!".

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

You missed out a Brainy Boffin Babe, in the form of Allison Cameron, from House. Although she'd just stand there asking "Why do bad things happen?" so would be disqualified...which would set her off again.

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
You missed out a Brainy Boffin Babe, in the form of Allison Cameron, from House. Although she'd just stand there asking "Why do bad things happen?" so would be disqualified...which would set her off again.

[/ QUOTE ]

...not to mention any of Catherine Willows, Calleigh Duquesne or even the n00b Lindsay Monroe (Plain CSI, CSI: Strawberry and CSI: NY Super Fudge Chunk respectively), could pwnz the lot of them.

You also forgot Lady Heather, though she's technically a brainy boffin's brainy boffing-babe. With brains. Or something.

[Silver_Weasel]

Or Velma Dinkley ;)

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
she's technically a brainy boffin's brainy boffing-babe. With brains. Or something.

[/ QUOTE ]

...You make my head hurt.

And, as for Velma, Weasel, are we talking about the Cartoon version, or the movie version?

[Silver_Weasel]

Depends, I can't tell the difference without my glasses ;) Though the movie one did have that cat-suit. Reeeeow ;)

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

...I missed the cat suit.

Pah!

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
I missed the cat suit.

[/ QUOTE ]

Next on DW's "I Wanna Steal Her Style": nice outfit. rubbish movie. (http://film.onet.pl/_i/film/s/scooby_doo_2/g/g20.jpg)

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

....That's totally out of place on Velma. Looks cool, but so wrong.

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
....That's totally out of place on Velma. Looks cool, but so wrong.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think that was the idea - a bit of Geek Liberation.. *sigh* believe me, the look doesn't work with glasses, but flat on your face after falling down stairs kind of wrecks the mystique too.

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
I think that was the idea - a bit of Geek Liberation.. *sigh* believe me, the look doesn't work with glasses, but flat on your face after falling down stairs kind of wrecks the mystique too.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, been there, done that.

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I think that was the idea - a bit of Geek Liberation.. *sigh* believe me, the look doesn't work with glasses, but flat on your face after falling down stairs kind of wrecks the mystique too.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, been there, done that.

[/ QUOTE ]

In a cat suit?? *blink*

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
In a cat suit?? *blink*

[/ QUOTE ]

...My life is like a good book. You can't open it up in the middle. :o

[Frozen_Rogue]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
In a cat suit?? *blink*

[/ QUOTE ]

...My life is like a good book. You can't open it up in the middle. :o

[/ QUOTE ]

Let's hope you can't do that with your catsuit either...

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
In a cat suit?? *blink*

[/ QUOTE ]

...My life is like a good book. You can't open it up in the middle. :o

[/ QUOTE ]

Unlike the catsuit. (Tip for parties: always design custom outfits, no matter how cool, with bathroom breaks in mind.)

We still haven't answered the OP...
[ QUOTE ]
Samantha Carter (SG-1) v Temperance Brennan (Bones) v Sydney (Relichunter) v Sam Ryan[1] (Silent Witness)

[/ QUOTE ]

- Sydney disqualified for (a) being a blatant Lara Croft rip-off and (b) in a bad Saturday afternoon serial that Sam Raimi wasn't responsible for.

- Temperance fails to start due to staring at David "I worked for Joss Whedon, you know" Boreanaz's moodily lit cheekbones. Which are nice.

- Sam Ryan, controlled by Quantum Leap bloke, attempts to formulate cunning plan to escape. However, despite being allowed neither alien tech nor magic, Sam has done the USAF basic assault training course and knows one end of an M-16 from the other. Oh boy indeed...

- whereupon she is promptly arrested and interrogated/tested to bits by the three CSI girls. They find mysterious non-human DNA...

- whereupon Sam is finally revealed by Velma as Old Man Horus the evil Go'Auld theme-park keeper, who would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling humans...

- thus making this the most convincing, well-scripted and scientifically valid episode of SG-1. Ever.

Right, hot puppet-on-puppet action:
The Banana Splits
vs
The Muppets
vs
The non-human cast of Labyrinth (inc. David Bowie)
vs
Gremlins

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Let's hope you can't do that with your catsuit either...

[/ QUOTE ]

It was one time. ONE TIME! It was either a cat suit or a lacey negligee. I think I made the right choice. Besides...if I've learned anything from the experience, I'd make a hot transvestite.

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Right, hot puppet-on-puppet action:
The Banana Splits
vs
The Muppets
vs
The non-human cast of Labyrinth (inc. David Bowie)
vs
Gremlins

[/ QUOTE ]

Right away, the Banana Splits get eaten by the Gremlins. In shock, Hoggle tries to spray his anti-fairy solution on them, but that just causes them to multiply. Ludo calls in the rocks, but unfortunately, he calls forth Animal and the rest of the Muppet band, who proceed to play 'Highway To Hell', as David Bowie's codpiece quivers, and his wig is heard to mutter "Such a pity".

The Gremlins then charge at the band, but trip on the Banana Split's skin, and fall directly into the sunlight, making them melt and forming the original Bog Of Eternal Stench, and David Bowie calls up the Cleaners to run over the Muppet Band. The Yip Yip Aliens look on, glaring at Stase malevolently as she cowers behind Weasel, and the winner is David Bowie's codpiece...therefore every girl who first saw Labyrinth at the ages of 13-17.

Speaking of Codpieces...

Captain Hook (Disney Cartoon) versus Captain Hook (From Hook) versus Captain Kirk (just because)

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

...And yes, I know it's a Codfish. But I needed to segue somehow...

[Animal_Mutha_EU]

Two more heavy wieght bouts to ponder the outcome:

Scooby Doo vrs Hong Kong Phooey

Scrappy Doo vrs Liquidiser

[Silver_Weasel]

Scooby would track mild mannered Penry to the police office and say "Rong Kong ROOEY!". Penry would look sheepish whilst Rosemary the Telephone Operator would say "No Scooooby, that can't be that wonderful hunk of a hero, that's just Penry."

Penry would leave his mop against the door so he can be searched to prove he isn't Hong Kong, just in time for the Sarge to trip over it, landing in Penry's bucket of water and screaming "PENRYYYYY!"

Scooby Doo would lomp away looking confused for something to eat and Penry would ask for a early lunch break. As soon as he got into the broom cupboard he'd say to Spot.
"It looks like my whole alter-ego could be up unless I stop that dog with a little Kung Fu.", and leaps into the filing cabinet.
After much rifling around, he climbs out and says "Spot, why couldn't you have told me that was the wrong cabinet?"
Spot sighs.
Penry leaps into the cabinet and after Spot knocking the side; leaps out with a "FI, FOO, AND A RINKY DINKY DOO TO YOU!"

The two of them leap into the Phooeymobile and chase after the Mystery Machine, which has arrived at the creepy Icecream factory. Hong Kong pulls out his gong and taps it once to change the Phooeymobile into the Phooey_Icecreamvan; but due to the wrong tone, it turns into the PhooeyFridge and the two of them slide out in a shower of ice.
Spot sighs loudly.
At that moment, Shaggy & Scooby run out, dragging Scrappy with them who's still going "I'll splat em!".
Hong Kong bows as Shaggy and Scooby turn white and skid to a halt.
"YOIKS!", says Shaggy, "It's that world famous superhero! What do you want with us, Hong Kong Phooey?"
HKP looks over at them and says "Scooby Doo knows my secret identity, so I'm gonna have to use my Hong Kong Book of Kung Fu to find a memory eraser."
Sccoby goes "Uh Uh, UH UH!" and leaps into Shaggy's arms, shivering.
Spot raises an eyebrow and flicks the book to a certain page. "Aha, the Ying Yong Ting Tong Wing Wong Kick. Why thank you Spot, I was just looking for that myself."
Spot sighs loudly.
Hong Kong Phooey lets out a "YAH", "HOO" & "A RINKY DINKY DOO TO YOU!" and launches himself in a flying kick, whilst forgetting about the hilarious patch of ice.
Scrappy takes the full force of the kick and reels back into the Liquidiser where he's shredded beyond any chance of comeback.
Sccoby realises Hong Kong Phooey has saved him from slow painful repeats death and thanks him the only way he knows how, with an icecream.

Hong Kong takes a lick and says "It all goes to show you Spot, Crime doesn't pay, but Ice-Crime pays for itself."
Spot shakes his head and slopes off .


ooh I forgot another one...Nemesis (CoH) vs. Dr. Doom (Marvel)

[Necropolis_]

[ QUOTE ]
In fact, The Council and Giles "defeated" Evil Willow, by allowing her to access all of the magic in the world, and hence feel the world's pain. Xander was just the trigger; his "I wuv j00 Will" speech tapped into the still-human part of Willow's brain and the good within her defeated the magic.

Remember, she never accesssed "dark" magic; just overloaded on "good" magic.

[/ QUOTE ]

Just to be really picky here *ducks from Stasis* ;)

As Giles mentions when he returns to Sunnydale he says the council dont have a clue about whats going on with Willow,its actually a very powerful coven in Devon whos seers saw Dark Willow, the same coven Willow goes to magical rehab with.

[Lost_samurai_EU]

Nemesis, because it will always be a fake and Doom will never get a chance to win, eventually nemesis would find a way to send him to another dimension or trick every super powered being on the planet into killing Doom.

Lost Samurai VS Wolverine
anythign goes

[Stasisesque]

Eeeep. I can't believe I didn't notice that. I was thinking of the witches coven, and still typed council. D'oh.

[Necropolis_]

[ QUOTE ]
Nemesis, because it will always be a fake and Doom will never get a chance to win, eventually nemesis would find a way to send him to another dimension or trick every super powered being on the planet into killing Doom.

Lost Samurai VS Wolverine
anythign goes

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm gonna go with Wolvie here,hes been in the game longer than some of us have been living for. experience just gives him the biggest advantage.

Heres one i've been weighing out for a while,see what you think and although i'm aware Buffy is the better show,dont judge it on that! :D

The scooby gang V The main guys and gals from "Charmed"

[Lost_samurai_EU]

charmed, we all know the scooby gang got nuthing on real magic users.

been wondering bout this one, The freedom phalanx VS The justice League VS the X-men Vs the Vindicators.

were talking massive rumble, in the arena everything goes as long as theyre still in the arena boundrys

[_Chi_]

Well, I'd have to say the X Men. But this is only because, in their new desperation to capture new viewers/readers, they have made hundreds of new Mutants to join their academy as students. This is proved by the pathetic 'X-Men Evolution' Series. Well, at least I think it is called that...

A PC with Sonic Attacks vs a Mac with Psych ones?

[DreamWeaver]

PC's are nasty Corruptor types, Macs are hippy peace-loving Defenders - so an Emp/Psi Mac will simply pwnz0r the PC from long range and heal itself of all damage, before promptly being shunned as incompatible by the rest of the team.

*sigh*

Gillian McKeith
vs
The Wicked Witch Of The West

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

Firstly, Macs are evil. They're the source of all terrors on this planet, both real and imagined, for all time. Plus, they nearly made me fail my music GCSE.

Gilliam McKeith has, perhaps, no weaknesses, although her only real power is her scowling headshake. The Wicked Witch Of The West, although having her water weakness, can be, at times, quite cute. (http://www.wickedthemusical.com/press/article_nytimes_04-05-23_02.jpg)

She would surely break under McKeith's evil glares, and no amount of flying monkeys could save her.

Open round.

[The_Braain]

[ QUOTE ]
Open round.

[/ QUOTE ]

Do you mean any1 against anyone? if you do,ill have to go for....Jackie Chan :D Master of all martial Arts :)

Heres one for ya......Apocalypse .v. Sentry

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Open round.

[/ QUOTE ]

Do you mean any1 against anyone? if you do,ill have to go for....Jackie Chan :D Master of all martial Arts :)

[/ QUOTE ]

Mustn't....turn this...into....Chuck...Norris....joke...Bridger... will kill...me....

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGH!!!!!!! !!!!!

*PITF*

[Doc_Shango]

The Sentry dismantles Apocalypses armour, takes his withered mummy body and does what he did to Carnage with it.
Inspired by the above can we have Chuck Norris Vs Bridger?

Jackie Chan can do comedy stunts in the background cause it's been so long since he actually did a martial arts movie of note.

[Lost_samurai_EU]

Bridger uses his mod powers to lock chuck norrises powers, he then uses his move ability to move chuck norris into outer space where he suffocates, fatality, Bridger wins

Bridger vs Rockjaw

[Doc_Shango]

Rockjaw uses his ubermod power and defeats Bridger in a climactic battle.
Next up a vision of genetic experimentation gone wrong in a bout between
Bridgejaw Vs the combined might of it's genetic source material Bridge and Rockjaw.

[Arctic_Princess]

[ QUOTE ]
Oookay...

War Of The Worlds martians are allergic to bacteria. Mysterons oo KNOW THAT THIS IS TRUE.

Mysterons possess Tom Cruise (he doesn't mind at all and no-one actually notices stary-eyed wooden puppetlike behaviour till final reel) and get him to sneeze over any random lead alien. WOTW aliens expire due to advanced tech not including Lemsip.

However, Tom Cruise *not* having been an expensive actor randomly killed in Mars Attacks, Martians promptly steal him and liquidise his brain, leaving him jumping randomly on sofas and screaming about some bird off Dawson.

Final reel as Martians face down Marvin. Martians have the upper hand until a blast to his ship accidentally knocks radio station to KISSfm during German trance special.

This being highly similar to yodelling, Martians are paralysed and land in wobbly heap, finally being crushed as RMS Titanic appears out of a wormhole in space. Leonardo DiCaprio freezes to death in the vacuum of space. Cinemagoers cheer wildly.

Mysterons try final comeback but are scuppered by lack of AA torch batteries, leaving universe's dumbest alien in control of the White House and Leader of the Free Worl...

*blink*

Don't you SEE? It's already happened! It's true! Outside the limit of our sight, feeding off us, perched on top of us, from birth to death, are our owners! Our owners! They have us. They control us! They are our masters! Wake up! They're all about you! All around you! WAKE UP!!!

*cough*


[/ QUOTE ]

I love you, Dreamweaver :D

[Frazzle_d]

It't time for a duo battle, methinks.

Rosie and Jim vs. Bill and Ben, the Flowerpot Men.

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
Rosie and Jim vs. Bill and Ben, the Flowerpot Men.

[/ QUOTE ]

After vigorous taunting on both sides and initial early hits for the rock-hard tanker twins (and their Plant Controller pet Weed), Rosie and Jim retreat to their barge. Rock Tankers promptly follow... and sink into the canal never to be seen again.

Admit I'm slightly biased, as I owe Rosie and Jim and their salty crew for giving me a lift on the Coventry Canal a few summers back. Nice production work if you can get it.

[ QUOTE ]
Bridgejaw Vs the combined might of it's genetic source material Bridge and Rockjaw.

[/ QUOTE ]

Bridgejaw disqualified for having a creation process too hideous to contemplate and even more unlikely to happen. (Even if the NCSoft offices are located in Brighton.) Winner: humanity.

[ QUOTE ]
I love you, Dreamweaver

[/ QUOTE ]

Awww :o :D I'd sig quote you, but I'm already taken :D

Next scrap: all hail the Whedon, devourer of worlds:

Buffy Summers
vs
Angel aka Liam Murtaugh, aka Angelus, Scourge of Europe
vs
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds
vs
Buzz Lightyear

Referee'd by Wonder Woman. And for this round only, we invoke the special Scooby Gang Bonus Rule: At a moment of desperate peril, combatant may choose ONE sidekick / assistant / mentor / comic relief to join or distract from the action.

Choose wisely.

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Next scrap: all hail the Whedon, devourer of worlds:

Buffy Summers
vs
Angel aka Liam Murtaugh, aka Angelus, Scourge of Europe
vs
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds
vs
Buzz Lightyear

Referee'd by Wonder Woman. And for this round only, we invoke the special Scooby Gang Bonus Rule: At a moment of desperate peril, combatant may choose ONE sidekick / assistant / mentor / comic relief to join or distract from the action.

Choose wisely.

[/ QUOTE ]

Okay. Buffy and Angelus square off against each other, with Angelus using mind tricks to mess with Bufferella. She calls on Xander for assistance, whilst Angelus calls on Spike. Spike and Buffy immediately get it on, which through the process of deus ex machina gives Angelus his soul back, and it's suddenly Vamp Vs Vamp.

Xander tries it on with Wonder Woman, who tells him that, sadly, the whole world's waiting for her...or at least, the movie, and she moves on.

Reynolds gets Kaylee to take apart poor Buzz, who was being ignored by everyone else for being a toy. Malcolm then tries his pseudo-Chinese curses on Xander in an attempt to make his head explode. Kaylee falls in love with Xander, and they run away together.

Spike and Angel keep on fighting, until Buffy realises she's had enough and stakes both of them. Then, Mal proposes to Buffy (because he keeps getting married to weird girls...) and Wonder Woman declares the fight a total loss.

Open Round

[Silver_Weasel]

Open round eh?

The Muppets vs. Sesame Street with Kermit at ringside.

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

GAH! That reminds me.

I found proof that Stasis is Satan. See, as Satan, she's opposed to whatever G-d believes in, right?

Boo Yah (http://www.shortpacked.com/comics/20060210god.png)

[Silver_Weasel]

Stase isn't Satan. She doesn't set her sights that low :)

[DreamWeaver]

She's not the anti-Messiah, she's a very naughty girl...

...so I hear. :D

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
She's not the anti-Messiah, she's a very naughty girl...

...so I hear. :D

[/ QUOTE ]

All right, but apart from the zany quotes, making Weasel more relaxed, funny RL pics, jokes, pestering me on MSN, Playing CoH, wearing red sproingy things in her hair, and public health, what has Stasis ever done for us?

[Coin]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
She's not the anti-Messiah, she's a very naughty girl...

...so I hear. :D

[/ QUOTE ]

All right, but apart from the zany quotes, making Weasel more relaxed, funny RL pics, jokes, pestering me on MSN, Playing CoH, wearing red sproingy things in her hair, and public health, what has Stasis ever done for us?

[/ QUOTE ]

Introduced a healthy fear of the yip-yip aliens to the players of CoH?

[KeeperOfSorrows]

The scene opens with a brightly lit wrestling ring, in the centre of which stands Kermit. "Good evening ladies and gentlemen. You've heard of 'puppets on a string'? Well, tonight we present 'puppets on the ropes' as the Muppets face off against the residents of Sesame Street, with me, your host, Kermit T. Frog. Nylon fur is sure to fly tonight folks, in this amazing fight, which tonight is sponsored by the letter pi and the number pi. Now, without further ado, it's on. With. The. Shoooow!"

Kermit jogs to take up his position ringside and we see the trashcan sitting in the center of the ring: Oscar lies in wait, preparing his ambush. His plan is foiled when Animal leaps out of the Muppet's dressing room and mistakes the trash can for a large drum and begins to manically beat out a tune with his drum sticks and occasional headbuts. After five minutes of his drum solo, a much grouchier, but very disorientated Oscar stumbles back to retire in the Street's corner.

Next out for the Sesame side is Grover, who proceeds to completely baffle Animal when he attempts to teach him to speak correctly and clearly. Animal finally admits defeat, and runs off chasing Desiree Casado (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desiree_Casado)--who had turned up to support her fellow cast members--with a cry "Woo-maaaan!" and is promptly disqualified.

Electing to battle "brains with brains"--in the absence of Kermit leading the Muppet team, Fonzy has somehow landed the role, which explains this odd choice--Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker are sent in to the ring with their Transmogrification device. Naturally, things go wrong and the happless scientific duo turn Beaker into a giant biscuit. Of course, being American in flavour, the Cookie Monster catches wind of this development and chases a terrified Beaker out of the ring.

Next up, Scooter and Sceeter are set to take on Bert and Ernie in a tag-team match, but Bert and Ernie fail to emerge from their dressing room at all. This leads to all sorts of rumours flying around the internet that are far too familiar, and of course, utter nonsense: their failure to emerge is due to a bizarre accident that leaves Ernie stuck with a banana in his ear.

"Ernie, you've a banana in your ear!"
"What Bert?"
"I said, you've a banana in your ear!"
"What? I can't hear you, I've got a banana in my ear!"

The round goes to the Muppet's by default, and for the next round, they call on their "big gun": Sweetums (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweetums). Not to be outdone, the Street bring in Aloysius Snuffleupagus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aloysius_Snuffleupagus), who, as he is in fact two men in a huge furry suit, instead of just the one, overpower Sweetums... with the combined BO of the operators alone.

Next up is the sickeningly cute round as Elmo squares off against Kermit's nephnew Robin. The crowd are vomitting in the aisles, and the round is declared a draw, with the only winner being the merchandisers with sales of Tickle Me Elmo's and a singing Robin shooting through the roof.

Gonzo comes out next, and in a round that sends Stasis screaming from the room in fear, the Sesame side field their own aliens: the Yip-Yip's. With the Yip-Yip's variously mistaking Gonzo for a telephone, a water-pump, an umbrella, and a hockey stick, Gonzo--unsure of what he actually is, the match somehow taking place prior to Muppets in Space--suffers an identity crisis and winds up believing himself to be a garden hoe. That being too similar to the slang for "a lady of the night" for the censors, Gonzo finds himself on the cutting room floor and the Yip-Yip's win the round.

In an odd match up, Miss Piggy lines up next for the bout, seeming set to be a sure fire winner. That is until she sees her opponent Count Von Count. Miss Piggy's acting insticts kick in and she mistakenly believes herself to be starring in a horror movie and with a swoon, cries out for Kermit to save her. With Miss Piggy on the canvas, the Count finds his arithmomania kicking in. "One, ha ha ha. Two, ha ha ha. Three, ha ha ha." The hammy actress realises her mistake, but not soon enough! She is declared to have been down for the Count, and the high-powered karate chops delivered to the Count and Kermit afterwards do nothing to convince the referees to alter their judgements. It does leave Count Von Count extremely glad Miss Piggy doesn't deliver karate stakes though...

After the appalling puns of the last round, everyone realises that Fozzy has now taken over the commentary for the match, and both sides give a concerted effort to wrestle the microphone away from him.

Next up, the Muppet's introduce their star guests, The Streets. However, in a etymological confusion over the names of the two combatting sides, the band mistakenly believe they are battling for their closer name-sakes, and end up turning upon their erstwhile hosts--which proves extremely lucky, with the Sesame team having far less clout in the guest star stakes. Yet another round goes to the edutainment crowd.

It's all looking rather bleak for the Muppets. That is until, from the crowd come the familiar scathing put downs from Statler and Waldorf.

"Wake up you old fool: you slept through the whole fight!"
"Who's a fool? You watched it!"

Imune to the sarcasm after so many years, the Muppet's battle on regardless, but the poor Sesame crowd, coming from childrens television, are unused to such harsh criticisms, and even Big Bird leading them in a rousing chorus of "If You Can't Say ANything Nice (Don't Say Anything At All)" fails to raise the morale of the team. Statler's cry of "Sure, but can you sing tenor? Tenor eleven miles away!" finally breaks their resolve completely and the Sesame street crowd throw in the towel.

The winners? They're not quite mops, and not quite puppets, but oh-man! *Laughs* So to answer the question, I don't know.

Next up, the Super Sleuth's Spring Slamdown with Columbo vs. Miss Marple vs. Sherlock Holmes vs. Poirot vs. Jessica Fletcher

[Frazzle_d]

As soon as the fight starts, Poirot disappears. Disqualified.

Columbo, after many years of cigar chomping, isn't much use and scratches his rugged chin before deciding he needs another coffee, which gives him a fatal heart attack. Oops!

Sherlock Holmes, the charming gentleman that he is, can't hit a lady. Throws in towel.

So it's left between Miss Marple and Jessica Fletcher. Just in the nick of time, just as the 3 ton typewriters are about to be launched, Poirot comes back with the shocking and infallible truth. He appeals to the judges, smugly twiddling his plactic 'tache.

This is where DCI Jack Frost, of Touch of Frost comes in, apologizes gruffly for being late, and punches Poirot's lights out, 'because I've had enough of illegal French/eastern european immigrants coming here to deal *insert rough, realistic organised crime here* as it is.' Judges proclaim Frost as the winner, even though he loses his job for 2 weeks.

Childrens Presenters Punch-Up! - Channel 5 guy who sits in a crowded studio doing 'Milkshake' vs. Blue Peter vs. Dick and Dom vs. whoever on earth does CiTV now.

[Silver_Weasel]

Truly brilliant Keeper; truly brilliant :)

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Childrens Presenters Punch-Up! - Channel 5 guy who sits in a crowded studio doing 'Milkshake'

[/ QUOTE ]

The who with the what, now?

[ QUOTE ]
Blue Peter

[/ QUOTE ]

Poor Bonnie.

[ QUOTE ]
Dick and Dom

[/ QUOTE ]

Who and Who?



[/ QUOTE ]whoever on earth does CiTV now.

[/ QUOTE ]

Isn't it still Ant and Dec? Or Gilbert The Alien? Oh, wait. That was BBC.

[KeeperOfSorrows]

[ QUOTE ]
Truly brilliant Keeper; truly brilliant :)

[/ QUOTE ]

Why thank you. I do try...

...and ten minutes later, once I've got my breath back, I try again. :D

[Frazzle_d]

Nah, don't. Blue Peter make a nuke out of some PVC string and yoghurt pots and unleash hell, then let their pets finish it off.

Carry on.

[Stasisesque]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
She's not the anti-Messiah, she's a very naughty girl...

...so I hear. :D

[/ QUOTE ]

All right, but apart from the zany quotes, making Weasel more relaxed, funny RL pics, jokes, pestering me on MSN, Playing CoH, wearing red sproingy things in her hair, and public health, what has Stasis ever done for us?

[/ QUOTE ]

Introduced a healthy fear of the yip-yip aliens to the players of CoH?

[/ QUOTE ]

...I found this spoon...

[DreamWeaver]

There is no spoon? *puzzled*

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
...I found this spoon...

[/ QUOTE ]

But, in true Yip Yip style, you're going to confuse it with a computer, a bowl, and a house?

Yip yip

[Silver_Weasel]

*taps Fire_Guardian on the shoulder*
*drops invisibility*
TOOOOOTAL FOCUS!

/phaseshift

"Now you see my dear Hero, what would happen if I used my Grant Invisibility on Stasis...she could be standing right next to you at the moment...."

Pleasant Dreams :)

WEASEL AWAY!

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
*taps Fire_Guardian on the shoulder*
*drops invisibility*
TOOOOOTAL FOCUS!

/phaseshift

"Now you see my dear Hero, what would happen if I used my Grant Invisibility on Stasis...she could be standing right next to you at the moment...."

Pleasant Dreams :)

WEASEL AWAY!

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, HELL NO! *runs like a [censored]* Sheeee's aaaaafter meeeeeeeee....

[Stasisesque]

In the future, I'm going to think long and hard about allowing my name to be used on a product...or a thread...or a thought. I'm incredibly confused at the moment :eek:.

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
In the future, I'm going to think long and hard about allowing my name to be used on a product...or a thread...or a thought. I'm incredibly confused at the moment :eek:.

[/ QUOTE ]

...At the moment? ;)

[Duckdee]

[ QUOTE ]
Childrens Presenters Punch-Up! - Channel 5 guy who sits in a crowded studio doing 'Milkshake' vs. Blue Peter vs. Dick and Dom vs. whoever on earth does CiTV now.

[/ QUOTE ]
I used to watch all of them, but as I only watch Dick and Dom, (or did until last weekend) they win.

Sega vs Nintendo

[DreamWeaver]

Bleeding scrap ripping each other to death. Nintendo has them on the ropes - but is killstealed by a sudden AS from the PlayStation tearing Sega to pieces, and then turns on Nintendites.

Nintendo crawls away but survives, leaving the nimble PlayStalker and the lumbering XBrute 360 duking it out. PSP eventually wins after XBrute finally runs out of cash for Revive inspirations.

Yorkshire
vs
Lancashire

Fear the ninja editors that you cannot see, for we are nimble and have much craft.

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
Bleeding scrap ripping each other to death. Nintendo has them on the ropes - but is killstealed by a sudden AS from the PlayStation, who then turns on them.

Nintendo crawls away but survives, leaving the nimble PlayStalker and the lumbering XBrute 360 duking it out. PSP eventually wins after XBrute finally runs out of cash for Revive inspirations.

Yorkshire
vs
Lancashire

[/ QUOTE ]

....SEGA Versus Nintendo. I had to double check the original match-up, because you went off on a wild tangent.

And Nintendo won, as a matter of history.

[Cass_]

[ QUOTE ]
Yorkshire
vs
Lancashire

[/ QUOTE ]

Yorkshire, nuff said

open round

[Stasisesque]

Jacqueline, DreamWeaver, Silver_Weasel, Fire_Guardian and Stasis_.
vs
Sanity.

[Silver_Weasel]

[ QUOTE ]
Jacqueline, DreamWeaver, Silver_Weasel, Fire_Guardian and Stasis_.
vs
Sanity.

[/ QUOTE ]

The Fish.

(Anyway, I don't fight imaginary characters :))

[Fire_Guardian_EU]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Jacqueline, DreamWeaver, Silver_Weasel, Fire_Guardian and Stasis_.
vs
Sanity.

[/ QUOTE ]

The Fish.

(Anyway, I don't fight imaginary characters :))

[/ QUOTE ]

So long, and thanks for all the sanity?

[Duckdee]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Jacqueline, DreamWeaver, Silver_Weasel, Fire_Guardian and Stasis_.
vs
Sanity.

[/ QUOTE ]

The Fish.

(Anyway, I don't fight imaginary characters :))

[/ QUOTE ]

So long, and thanks for all the sanity?

[/ QUOTE ]
That round was a pile of dingo's kidneys :p

[Lord_Qel_Thyr]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
She's not the anti-Messiah, she's a very naughty girl...

...so I hear. :D

[/ QUOTE ]

All right, but apart from the zany quotes, making Weasel more relaxed, funny RL pics, jokes, pestering me on MSN, Playing CoH, wearing red sproingy things in her hair, and public health, what has Stasis ever done for us?

[/ QUOTE ]

given me the nickname Quilty™

[DreamWeaver]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Jacqueline, DreamWeaver, Silver_Weasel, Fire_Guardian and Stasis_.
vs
Sanity.

[/ QUOTE ]

The Fish.

(Anyway, I don't fight imaginary characters :))

[/ QUOTE ]

So long, and thanks for all the sanity?

[/ QUOTE ]
That round was a pile of dingo's kidneys :p

[/ QUOTE ]

No need to go all Belgium about it.

On that note, all-Galaxy drinking contest championship between...

Zaphod Beeblebrox
Lemmy (Motorhead)
Ozzy Osbourne
Russell Crowe

Galactus disqualified for being a lightweight. Sure, he'll eat planets, but he's anyone's after half a pint of shandy.

[Doc_Shango]

It's all even stephens until Zaphod breaks out the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster's. The drink goes straight to Russell Crowes head and he decided to impress the 2 singers with some renditions of his own songs. The horror of this, worse even than vogon poetry sends Ozzy and Lemmy into a catatonic state faster than any alchol ever could. Zaphod being the hoopy frood that he is calmly reaches for his towel and wraps it round his head there by blocking out the antipodean brawlers crooning until the gargleblaster finally gets the better of him. Looking around at his fallen drinking buddies Zaphod chuckles to himself and pours another drink.
Winner Zaphod with an assist from towel.

Galactus did try and take part but true Dreamweavers accusations he dropped out after the first Jack and Coke and was last seen chatting up a passing meteor that reminded him of an old college friend.

Next up:
CoV's own Wailer Demons
Vs
The X-men's sometime Demon foes the Nagari